Random Notes from a Crank

I saw this one ready-made shot that you can buy called "Porn Star." It's a half and half mixture of raspberry vodka and blue curaçao. 

If you were to make a shot called "porn star," don't you think it would be a different color, such as white like a pina colada to mimic the color of spunk? Just sayin'.

It's an old proverb from somewhere in Africa, but it rings true: Madness is hereditary. You get it from your kids. 

When I searched for that quotation, the search engine attributed it to someone named Sam Levenson. But I've always remembered it as a proverb that came out of Africa. 

A simple search found that Mr. Levenson was a white dude. Perhaps he stole it? 

I recently finished Nick Offerman's delightful book Where the Deer and Antelope Play. I highly recommend it. Straight talk, people. 

Another book I picked up last month was George Carlin's When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops? It's typical Carlin diatribic humor, some of which hasn't aged well. Imagine what Carlin would have done with Moscow Don?

Another book I'm starting is Ned Blackhawk's The Rediscovery of America: Native Peoples and the Unmaking of U.S. History. I psyched about it. 

Stay Positive: Cubs Jerseys and Numbers

There have been many mediocre away jerseys for the Cubs over the years, but this year's version, which might be last year's version for all I know, is probably the best looking away jersey for the Cubs that I can think of. It's basic, but it's aesthetically pleasing. 

The only sports jersey I own is throwback late 80s Cubs Andre Dawson jersey. 

For a long time my son's number for baseball has been 5. He joined a new travel team this summer, and 5 was taken, so he switched to 2, which is football number the past few years. When numbers were picked out this season for Middle School baseball, both 2 and 5 were taken by 8th graders who get the first pick (my son is a 7th grader), so he went with 10.

10 is Ron Santo's number. 

I love the old school Cub logo on that left sleeve. They need to go back to that emblem. 

Random Notes from a Crank

I'm in the midst of reading Range: Why Generalist Triumph in a Specialized World by David Epstein, and in Chapter 4: "Learning, Fast and Slow," he relates a lot of educational research that I already knew about spacing learning, generating educated guesses even if they're wrong, and self-testing. 

Another concept is interleaving, which is in contrast to blocked practice, which is when one practices the same thing or procedure over and over and over. In contrast, is varied or mixed practice, which researchers call "interleaving." With mixed practice, you vary the practice, so your mind can revisit the points, procedures, or moves. 

I came to one passage in the chapter that applies directly to my son. One of the sports he plays is competitive basketball. He's a strong ball handler and shooter, but he needs to do better at free throws. 

Here's the passage that stands is this one: "The 'desirable difficulty' coiner himself, Robert Bjork, once commented on Shaquille O'Neal's perpetual free-throw woes to say that instead of continuing to practice from the free-throw line, O'Neal should practice from a foot in front of and behind it to learn the motor modulation he needed." 

It's a technique to try. 

A few years ago I watched The Twilight Zone from the start, season 1 episode 1, to the end, which is season 5 episode 36. Seems like the appropriate time to rewatch all those fine episodes again. 

I could used to this working from home gig. I can't remember the last time I wore pants or jeans. I wear athletic shorts in the house, and then I change into shorts or athletic pants when I walk the dog or venture to a store. 

Random Notes from a Crank

I recently ordered a novel I'm afraid to admit I've never read: The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy by Douglas Adams. It's one of those books that some people rave about, but I never got around to reading it. 

It aggravates me that my kids often take off and put on their shoes without untying them, so one night I went about untying their shoes. 

As of late, I have an aversion to corn. I still corn on the cob. That hasn't changed, but when I ate some soup a couple of times, I felt that corn should not be in the soup. My thinking was, "This soup would be be much better without this damn corn." For me, the corn in the soup just fundamentally alters the dish in too large of a way. 

Down with corn. 

Up with grapefruit.

Random Notes from a Crank

Having a teenage girl in middle school has made me realize that some of the meanest people on the planet are middle school girls. I'm trying to sort of why this is, but I only have speculation and conjecture. However, I'm glad I didn't have to deal with all that drama when I was in junior high school. 

Mean girls...

Senator Chris Murphy has a good column in the Washington Post people should read: "Mass shootings Are an American Problem. There's an American Solution." 

But then again, consider this editorial cartoon.

Random Notes from a Crank

Last weekend, as usual, we spent a small fortune on school supplies for my kids. 

On Sunday I took my daughter to the last day of the county fair. She found a few of her friends, so I just sat on a bench and people watched. County fairs are prime targets for people watching. Here a few of my observations:

• I don't get some articles of clothing that people wear. 
• People who wear hi-tops for regular walking-around shoes probably aren't that good at basketball. 
• Corn dogs and fruit shake-ups are hard to resist.
• Either there many Cubs fans in my area of Illinois (there are more Cardinals fans), or a number of people have jumped on the Cubs bandwagon.
• I'm not about fat-shaming people, but Americans need to get in better shape, myself included. 

Check out Greg Fuchs' poem, "Make America Again," from Brooklyn Rail. 

Random Notes from a Crank

"The Perfect Boob Throughout History, From Big Ol' Things to Bee Stings" is a fascinating read if you're interested in cultural mores, societal attitudes, groupthink, and, well, boobs. 

Trump went to Mexico to talk with the country's President. Mexico's president clearly stated he told Trump that Mexico will not pay for his stupid wall. Trump lied and said they didn't discuss the matter. You can call Clinton a liar if you like, but this dude is a liar and classic bullshit artist. Just check out the Washington Post's fact check on his immigration speech: "Fact-Checking Trump's Immigration Speech." 

The Clinton ad below is now airing in Arizona. I'd be really surprised if Clinton wins Arizona. That would be a serious kick in the short and curlies for the GOP if it does happen.  



It looks like I'm going to be an assistant coach for my son's flag football team. The first practice is Friday. 

For years, I've calculated my dog's "human age" by the traditional 1-to-7-year ratio. Come to find out that ratio is inaccurate. The first year of a medium dog's life compares to 15 years. The second year compares to 9 years. The years thereafter compare to 4 years. So my dog is not 70. She's 56. Check it out from the AKC: "How to Calculate Dog Years to Human Years." 

Random Notes from a Crank

If you're not watching Full Frontal with Samantha Bee, you're missing something. It's too bad the show is only on once a week. 

Here's a greatest hits from the first six weeks of the show posted on sheknows.com: "8 Times Samantha Bee Has Positively Owned Late Night."  

The other day my daughter and I were watching the program, and she said, "I want to be like her," meaning she wants to be someone who does investigative reporting and calls out people on their bullshit. 

This is the same young lady who volunteered to enter a speech contest and won second without any help from her parents. If she does it again next year, I'm going to make sure I consult on the speech. Next time we'll be gunning for first. 

Seth Meyers had a nice piece on the nonsense of trickle-down economics happening in Kansas. Those policies are as dumb as a box of dildos. Literally. 




"Why Donald Trump Is Wrong about Manufacturing Jobs and China" from The New Yorker is an interesting read. I wrote about reshoring in 2012 and 2013. I'd still like to see more jobs come back to the U.S.A. One move both Trump and Sanders have made is tapping into resentment about "free trade." In fact, Trump talks like a protectionist, which among other Trump-based matters, is roiling the GOP establishment.

Unfortunately, Sports Illustrated has predicted that the Cubs will be in the World Series this season. That's bad news because SI is notorious for being horrible at predictions. 

Random Notes from a Crank

With Trump as the front runner and Ben Carson as second in the current GOP field, this whole Republican race is bizarre, especially with Carson believing that the world was created in six days. That's right. The world was created in six days according to Carson. Stunningly stupid. Even my eleven-year old daughter recognized that story as a metaphor. Check out "Ben Carson: The World Was Created in 6 Days. Literally." 

Over at the Washington Post, in "Why Republicans Are Starting to Panic, in One Paragraph." Chris Cillizza concisely sums up what a number of people in the GOP are worried about considering demographics and the coming presidential election. 

As for the Democrats, it's the Hillary and Bernie dynamic right now with Biden sitting it out at the moment. I suspect Biden decides to run. 

The candidate I would probably support the most, Elizabeth Warren, made an appearance on The Late Show with Stephen Colbert. 

I'm one of the coaches for my son's soccer team, which makes me wish I played soccer as a kid. I think there might have been some soccer leagues back then northern Iowa (maybe), but the junior high schools and high schools didn't offer soccer as a sport. 

This weekend the men of the Nasty home will have the house to ourselves. Mrs. Nasty and my daughter are going with a few friends to Nashville to see an insanely expensive Taylor Swift concert. 

Random Notes from a Crank

The July-August issue of Mother Jones has a solid trio of articles people should read. 

The first, "This is Your Brain on Smog," relates the scientific studies that are linking air pollution to dementia. 

The second, "The End of Punishment," provides a different take on the bad kids (or just kids in general) and how educators and other folks should deal with them. It's possible the type of punishment schools have been using just makes things worse.

The third, "The Natural," details the exploits of Allen Hershkowitz, the NRDC, and Hershkowitz's Green Sports Alliance in getting sports franchises and whole leagues to be more sustainable and thereby save money. 

Today is National Left Handers Day. Being a southpaw, I'm happy we have our own day amongst the tyranny of a right-handed world. This article explains seven points most people don't know about handedness. To celebrate southpaws though, check out this article from USA Today about fourteen of the greatest lefty athletes. 

Random Notes from a Crank

The most recent issue of The Atlantic had a good article about Saudi Arabia moving toward major solar power projects: "Why the Saudis Are Going Solar." The initiative has political and reference-point hurdles, but part of the impetus behind the move  is that Saudis are crazy inefficient with energy consumption: "The Saudis burn about a quarter of the oil they produce." Another major reason behind the solar initiative is $$$. Regardless, as the author, Jeffrey Ball, concludes, "Saudi Arabia's energy challenge is a more extreme version of the one that faces the rest of the world. But if the kingdom's leaders can find the political courage to act decisively, Saudi Arabia, of all nations, could become a model for other countries trying to shift away from oil."

And China is moving toward renewables because of air pollution problems, climate change, and business interests. A National Geographic article concisely relates what's going on: "NASA Photos Show China's Plan to Meet New UN Climate Pledge." China has agreed to halt the rise of greenhouse gases and plans to get at least 20% of its energy from non-fossil fuel sources by 2030.  

The past couple of weeks my kids have been featured as "swimmers of the week" in the local paper. One of the coaches talks about each kid, and they ask the kids about their favorite strokes and their goals. Local celebrities, people.

Here's another good installment from Existential Comics: "Philosophy News Network: The Death of God." 

I'm thinking about starting up a flip-phone support group in this world awash with people staring at their smartphones. 

Random Notes from a Crank

When Mrs. Nasty and I were in Cancun, we ventured out of the hotel premises and checked out the Mayan ruins of Tulum. When compared to Chichen Itza, one of the largest Mayan sites in the middle of the jungle, Tulum is a much smaller site, but it certainly was interesting. After our tour, we ventured back to the shopping and eating area outside the site, and in that area, there's a Quiznos, a Subway, and a Starbucks. If you know anything about Tulum, it's the ruins of a city during the last gasps of the Mayan civilization after they had used up the environment around them and finally crafted a smaller city by the coast. For all the deep thinkers out there, you can ponder about mass-market chains being close to the last vestiges of a dead civilization and what that all means. 

Mrs. Nasty and I were also talking about how we need to go on some family vacations starting next summer. With my daughter's annual dance competition, we go to some manner of resort during the summer, but we want to start seeing some sites. Here are some early ideas for future summer travels:

• Washington D.C./Virginia area (Mount Vernon, Monticello, Revolutionary War and Civil War sites
• Great Smoky Mountains
• Lake of the Ozarks
• Redwood National and State Parks
• Seattle
• Kansas City 

My son's baseball practices started yesterday. I'm working as an assistant coach again. Once again I'm living vicariously through my kids. 

My poor Cubs have lost two games in a row to the damn Cardinals. I hate the Cardinals.

I've thought of supporting a St. Louis ball club though because I've contemplated purchasing a St. Louis Browns hat. "First in Shoes. First in Booze. And Last in the American League." 

That cap would complement my Baltimore Orioles hat I have because that's what the St. Louis Browns became. 

Random Notes from a Crank

Michael T. Klare's "Carbon's Counterattack" is a worthwhile read over on TomDispatch. This ¶ stood out to me: 
But this vision, like so much contemporary advertising, is based on a lie: in this case, on the increasingly bizarre idea that, in the twenty-first century, humanity can burn its way through significant parts of the planet’s reserves of fossil fuels to achieve a world in which everything is essentially the same -- there’s just more of it for everyone.  In the world portrayed by Exxon, it’s possible for a reassuring version of business-as-usual to proceed without environmental consequences.  In that world, the unimpeded and accelerated release of carbon into the atmosphere has no significant impact on people’s lives.  This is, of course, a modern fairy tale that, if believed, will have the most disastrous of results.

For a much different perspective, read Grist's article on recent peer-reviewed scholarship published in Nature: "Leave the Damn Fossil Fuels in the Ground, Says Big Nerdy Study." 

Regardless, here's a quotation from Rebecca Solnit: "To me, the grounds for hope are simply that we don't know what will happen next, and that the unlikely and unimaginable transpire quite regularly. And that the unofficial history of the world shows that dedicated individuals and popular movements can shape history and have, though how and when we might win and how long it takes is not predictable." 

Over the holidays, the Nasty family got into watching game shows, namely Family Feud and The Price is Right. Since I primarily do the grocery shopping in the family, I enjoy The Price is Right. I remember that show being a big draw at my fraternity house. It and Supermarket Sweep. 

My son, a first grader, starts his basketball season this month. It should be entertaining. I hope he's better than I was and he grows taller than I am (eventually). For whatever reason, in junior high school, I went out for the basketball team a couple of times. I stunk. So many kids went out for basketball that West Junior had three teams: A, B, and C. It's not hard to guess what team I suited up for. I should have gone into wrestling instead. 

Random Notes from a Crank

I picked up the well received Sex Criminals the other day. It's an interesting, freaky story so far. The problem is this: Where do you store a R-rated comic book volume (vol. 1 collects issues 1-5) when you have kids? I just can't put it in the stack of comic volumes I have downstairs, which include various old and new versions of Daredevil, Fraction's Hawkeye, Gaiman's The Sandman, Fraction's The Immortal Iron Fist, Neurocomic, and Wood's Star Wars series. I found a hiding spot for the volume though, so it's all good. For a sound review of the series, check out Laura Hudson's "The Man Behind the Comic Book That Finally Got Sex Right" on WIRED. 

And now I'm thinking of checking out The Wicked + The Divine. 12 mythological gods come back every 90 years to inhabit the bodies of humans and then die in 2 years? I might be in. 

The Heisman ceremony is this Saturday. I hope Cooper wins and ends the tyranny of QBs winning the award, but I'm sure Mariota will take home the trophy. 

In the Monday Night Football game, here are the stats from Julio Jones's night: 11 receptions for 259 yards. Roll Tide. 

The MLB winter meetings are being held right now, and a great deal of attention is on which team Jon Lester will sign with. Apparently it's down to the Red Sox and the Cubs. Regardless of whether they sign Lester, the Cubs made some good moves by resigning Jason Hammel and trading for Miguel Montero, a much-need left-handed bat in the lineup. 

Music Friday: "Headin' Home"

As I related in my previous Music Friday post, my daughter is taking up the saxophone, so I've integrated some jazz CDs into my rotation for the car. 

When I dropped her off at school today, this song was playing from Joshua Redman's MoodSwing. 

I'm not usually a fan of jazz that uses an electric bass. I like the traditional stand-up bass, which some jazz musicians call a "dog house." 

But I dig this tune. 

Random Notes from a Crank

As live albums go, it's hard to beat At Fillmore East by The Allman Brothers Band. They were a jam band before the term was invented. 

This summer, my going-into-first-grade son has played rookie league ball, which is machine-pitch baseball. Since I didn't get to play organized baseball when I was kid, I'm living vicariously through him. It's been fun practicing with him and working as one the team's ad hoc coaches. The first day of the tournament started on Monday, and my son's team lost its first game, which was difficult because they are a good-hitting team, but they've had defensive issues on a consistent basis. They kicked it around the yard last night and lost because of it. Bad deal. They barely won their game tonight. And tomorrow night they have a game. It's a double-elimination tournament, so it's either win and advance or lose and the season is over. 

One of the moms who was watching taekwondo class on Tuesday was reading a Reader's Digest. I'm surprised that mag is still around and that people still read it. 

The article, "Supreme Court Upholds Little Caesar's Right to Feed Christian Employees to Lions," is a wonderful bit of satire. Carpe diem, bitches. 

Random Notes from a Crank

On Tuesday I took the kids to the pool for the first time this summer. I didn't remember what time the local pool opened, so I checked the web. The site I was on stated the pool opened at 1 pm, so we didn't go until then. When we got the there, the pool was packed, and the real opening time is Noon. I complained to my kids that the website said it opened at 1 to which my daughter replied, "Just because it was on the web doesn't mean it's right." I know where she got that reply from. Me. A happy boomerang of parenting.

It's difficult not to notice a really bad tattoo, one of those ink jobs you look at and think, "That's horrible." I saw one at the local pool the other day that was not only horrible, but also it was despicable. Some dude had a large tattoo of the battle flag (stars and bars) and the official flag of the Confederate States of America on his back ~ smack dab in the middle of his back right below his shoulder blades. I might expect seeing a tattoo like this, say, in the Deep South where there are active lineage societies like United Daughters of the Confederacy and Sons of Confederate Veterans, but I was surprised to see it in east central Illinois.

After they came in the mail last week, it occurred to me that two books I bought have titles that start the exact same way. The two books are You Are Not Smart by David McRaney and You Are Not a Gadget by Jaron Lanier. In defiance of these titles, I might go around thinking of myself as a smart gadget. 

Random Notes from a Crank

A couple of weeks ago I was on the website for Arizona State University for some reason I don't even remember anymore. When I was on the site, I accidentally clicked on a link for ASU Online. Now whenever I'm on certain websites, there are these ASU Online ads prominently displayed. I'm being stalked. Stop stalking me ASU Online. I'm done with taking classes. ASU Online, you creep me out. I'm not interested. 

If you get Harper's or have access to the magazine, I highly recommend this article from the June issue: "The Civil Rights Act's Unsung Victory" by Randall Kennedy. It's solid analysis of the act, its influence, and its connection to how people talk about race at present. Here's a passage that's worth noting: "The difficulty is distinguishing nonracist libertarianism from its fraudulent, pre textual lookalikes. There is good reason to be skeptical of those who, in the name of liberty, condemn a law that has rescued millions from the tyranny of unchecked racial ostracism." 

I have a subscription to Esquire magazine because getting subscriptions was one of the elementary school fundraisers this year. The magazine is usually bathroom-quality reading material, but the June/July issue focuses on fatherhood, and there are a number of good articles in it. One in particular is Stephen Marche's "Manifesto of the New Fatherhood." It's a good read for today, which is Father's Day. The last § or ¶ provides a strong summation of the situation: "At the heart of the new fatherhood is a somewhat surprising insight: Men, as fathers, are more crucial than anybody realized. The changing American father is transforming the country at all levels, from the most fundamental to the most ethereal, economically, socially, politically. The epidemic of fatherlessness and the new significance men place on fatherhood point to the same clandestine truth: The world, it turns out, does need fathers." 

Huzzah to good, responsible fathers. 

Random Notes from a Crank

I discovered today that Bob Mould has a new album coming out next week. I'm looking forward to it. From what I have gathered, Mould has been touring recently to commemorate the 25th anniversary of his highly regarded solo album, Workbook, that was his first solo album after he left Husker Du. 

I've gotten into this new series Fargo, especially Malvo, who is Billy Bob Thornton's character in the series. It's a series full of darkness, duplicity, and dark humor. 

Yes, I just rolled with alliteration via three d-words. Deal with it.

The other day, my son's rookie league baseball team destroyed the opposing team 15 to 1. It was nice to watch some offensive production. I haven't gotten to watch a lot of that this season with the current Cubs squad. The team is more interesting than last season's train wreck though. 

If you're a parent, Hanna Rosin's "Hey! Parents, Leave Those Kids Alone" in The Atlantic is worth a read. 

Random Notes from a Crank

The other day my six-year-old son told us that he had two girlfriends. The first one is Lillie, a girl a year younger than him. He went to pre-school with her. The second, apparently, is Taylor Swift. I explained to him that he's too young to have a girlfriend and that Lillie is prettier than Taylor Swift and probably much nicer. I continued by telling him that I think Taylor Swift always looks like she's squinting or something. Also, with how many breakup songs she writes, you have to wonder if the men in her life aren't the problem. Maybe the real problem is her? 

Thought Catalog, one of those sites that's frequently shared via social media, had an interesting compilation of advice. It's titled "21 People On What They Would Tell Their 19-Year-Old Selves." My personal favorites are the advice given by Anya, Parker, Donald, Jackson, and Katelyn. 

If I had to provide advice to my 19-year-old self, like anyone else, there are a number of statements I'd make that I'd rather not share on the InterWebs or in polite company. However, here's some advice for that fool that I'm willing to share:

• Stay an extra year in undergrad because you should get a second major either in psychology, communication studies, sociology, anthropology, or history.
• Read more. In particular, read about rhetoric, composition studies, organizational communication, professional writing, psychology, history, anthropology, and sociology. And comic books and graphic novels. 
• Don't sell some of your comic books ~ the Daredevil when Elektra dies and the Amazing Spider-Man with the Spider-Mobile and the first appearance of the Punisher. You'll want to show them to your kids. 
• If she's not into you, she's not into to you. Move on. 
• Apply this principle liberally: Ars est celare artem.  
• What you will learn being a member of a fraternity will translate more productively to your professional life than most of the classes you will take as an undergraduate. Get good grades and all that, but keep this fact in mind. 
• Manage your money better, you idiot.

The other day I got a copy of Studs Terkel's Working. I'm enjoying it so far, but I wished I would have read it a long time ago.