Musing of the Moment: "Up and Not Crying"

Mrs. Nasty posted a reel from "wanderingbird.adventures" on social media that I also posted after I saw it.

Here's what it says: "In Norway 'up & not crying' is a standard response to 'How are you doing?'--and I think that's a very reasonable standard to hold oneself to these days." 

I agree.

I've read or heard that Norwegians have a reputation as the Scandinavians who are the most depressed. So that response "up and not crying" tracks. And I guess you can tie in seasonal affective disorder. 

Yet the saying flies in the face of the reputation of Nordic countries scoring the best on happiness surveys, which they do according to the World Happiness Report.

An article in The Guardian from 2018, "Nordic Countries 'Happy' Reputation Masks Sadness of Young, Says Report," shows some figures. And the numbers support that those countries are doing much better than other countries in Europe. 

Regardless, I like the black/dark humor of the saying.  

Random Notes from a Crank

I saw this one ready-made shot that you can buy called "Porn Star." It's a half and half mixture of raspberry vodka and blue curaçao. 

If you were to make a shot called "porn star," don't you think it would be a different color, such as white like a pina colada to mimic the color of spunk? Just sayin'.

It's an old proverb from somewhere in Africa, but it rings true: Madness is hereditary. You get it from your kids. 

When I searched for that quotation, the search engine attributed it to someone named Sam Levenson. But I've always remembered it as a proverb that came out of Africa. 

A simple search found that Mr. Levenson was a white dude. Perhaps he stole it? 

I recently finished Nick Offerman's delightful book Where the Deer and Antelope Play. I highly recommend it. Straight talk, people. 

Another book I picked up last month was George Carlin's When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops? It's typical Carlin diatribic humor, some of which hasn't aged well. Imagine what Carlin would have done with Moscow Don?

Another book I'm starting is Ned Blackhawk's The Rediscovery of America: Native Peoples and the Unmaking of U.S. History. I psyched about it. 

Random Notes from a Crank

Apparently the NFL is moving the Pro Bowl to become a flag football game. It was already that way in the past because like the NBA All-Star game, defense is optional in those silly games. Now the NFL is simply being truthful, which is a rare occurrence. 

"How Kansas Kept Abortion Legal" by Amy Littlefield in The Nation is worth a read. I hope it's a bellwether for the upcoming mid-term elections. 

I'm searching for a professional way of saying "bitch, please" without having to actually say "bitch, please." Here are suggestions from my friends on FB:

• Your opinion is duly noted, but I respectfully disagree.
• Bless your heart.
• Per my previous email
• Thank you for your interest.
• Please send me these concerns in an email.
• I'm sure that makes sense to you given your level of experience. 
• I'll take it from here.
• I appreciate your input, but we will be going in a different direction.
• Thank you very much, but I'm going to pass on that idea/opportunity at this time. 
• Thank you for the information.
• Perhaps.
• I've got you covered. 
• Ok, great. 

While I cannot find it online yet, you should pick up the most recent issue of The Nation and read Stephen Berry's "Confederates Take the Capitol." Berry is the Gregory Professor of the Civil War Era at the University of Georgia. He penned a trenchant essay about the January 6th insurrection and its historical context. 

Here's one of my favorite statements in the article: "At the base of most contemporary American conspiracy theories is the white male fantasy that indulges the feeling of being aggrieved, abused, dominated, or violated, precisely to justify the legitimacy of the ensuing white male vengeance and demonstrations of power and control." 

A few ¶s before, he makes this important statement: "...they [students of history and politics] assume that a majority of people act in their material self interest. Especially in the American context, they often don't. They act in their cultural self-interest. Any government program that benefits everyone (whether Obamacare, mask mandates, or vaccines) benefits out-groups relatively more--and America's traditionally dominant class (white male Christians and their allies) like winning less than they like watching other people lose. They not actually cynical about government; they know it works, but they want it to work for them particularly, perhaps exclusively, as it usually has--or they want it to not to work at all." 

Random Notes from a Crank

One of my FB friends shared this article by RawStory the other day that I found interesting. It's written by a neuroscientist: "Link between Religious Fundamentalism and Brain Damage Established by Scientists." 

The gist is that in the prefrontal cortex, the part of the brain that does critical thinking, religious fundamentalist don't have a propensity for "cognitive flexibility and open-mindedness." 

As the author states, "Religious beliefs can be thought of as socially transmitted mental representations that consist of supernatural events and entities assumed to be real. Religious beliefs differ from empirical beliefs, which are based on how the world appears to be and are updated as new evidence accumulates or when new theories with better predictive power emerge." 

They're not open to change: "Fundamentalist groups generally oppose anything that questions or challenges their beliefs or way of life. For this reason, they are often aggressive towards anyone who does not share their specific set of supernatural beliefs, and towards science, as these things are seen as existential threats to their entire worldview."

Religious fundamentalism is one of the things wrong in this world. 

And this all reminds me that I need to reread Mencken's Treatise on the Gods. 

Wales made the World Cup for the first time since 1958. So the group the US is in includes England, Iran, and Wales. 

This fine article from The Onion hits a little close to home since I'm usually geeked up when blue jays and woodpeckers show up: "Area Bird Creeped Out by Bird Watcher.

I need this notebook.  

Random Notes from a Crank

One of the few positives of the Covid-19 and the stay-at-home orders is this: Catholic priests won't be able to sexually abuse kids. It's darkly humorous, but it's true. 

Speaking of religion, while I'm an agnostic, the Nasty family will celebrate Easter by roasting a turkey, making mashed potatoes, and all that jazz. I bought a frozen lemon meringue pie from Aldi for dessert. 

The recent storm the came through these parts blew down all kinds of dead limbs, which has replenished my stock of kindling for fires. 

The house across the street from us is a rental home. The family that currently occupies it has a mini-van, a Porshe SUV, a Corvette, and the Dad drives a Harley. They have all this, and they can't buy a house? Priorities I guess...

Music Friday: "Fell on Black Days"

I am way late with this. I guess I took a weekend hiatus from my regular blogging duties. 

This past week had its share of crappy moments, so I'm in a bit of funk. 

As an example, this past Tuesday I went into the doctor to have my elbow bursitis taken care of. When Mrs. Nasty learned that I was at the doctor, she didn't know why I was there. I told her this reason: "depression." 

I wasn't there for that. It's just my dark sense of humor because the nurse who checked me in had to ask about depression. I could think of plenty of issues to be plenty depressed about, however. 

As the doctor appointment progressed, they used a procedure to drain the fluid in my elbow. As the doctor was using the needle to drain it (it wasn't draining), he hit a nerve of some sort, and it made me pass out. 

Twice. 

I only remember waking up twice. 

After that inglorious moment, they did an EKG on me, and thankfully everything is fine. But I was nauseous as hell, and my wife had to drive me home. I upchucked on the ride home, and I slept the whole afternoon. 

It was a black day. 

Random Notes from a Crank

Many people search for what sets homo sapiens apart from other animals. Some people say communication, yet we know animals have various communication strategies they employ on a regular basis. Some people say abstract thinking, problem-solving, and using tools, yet we know other species can do all that too. Check out Ackerman's The Genius of Birds if you question my previous statement. 

While our big brains could be a significant difference, possibly one of the notable differences is this: we can walk upright, and we're good at it.  As Ian Walker, a professor of biology at Harvard relates, "upright walking is the defining characteristic of the human lineage. Its consequences are hard to oversell." Check out the article the statement comes from: "3.6 Million-Year-Old Footprints Suggest Early Human Ancestors Were Excellent Walkers." 

Another way to think about what sets humans apart is the statement of Lucifer in Twain's Letters from the Earth (and I'm paraphrasing here): humans think they're the center of the universe ~ they think they're God's pet. 

Here's one of the better op-ed columns I've read in a while: "Trump Said He'd Stand by Farmers and Ranchers Like Me. He Hasn't." As conclusions go, Callicrate's is a good one: "American family farmers and ranchers are becoming an endangered species, squeezed by the forces of globalization and the immense leverage of gigantic corporations. We hoped that Trump would be our champion and side with use against the multinational corporations that are threatening our future and our nations ability to feed itself. But we've been let down. If the American farmer is to survive, we must be treated fairly. There is still time for Trump and Perdue to reverse course. We hope they seize this opportunity. But if Trump won't fight for us, we will bring the fight to him."

What I find confounding in that conclusion, however, is that why someone would ever think a Republican president would ever go against "gigantic corporations." Or any presidential candidate for that matter because most politicians forward policies based on who funds their campaigns. The fact of the matter is that many people got duped by a pathologically lying unsuccessful businessman who is really just TV reality star. And other folks just voted party over country. 

Random Notes from a Crank

In general, I avoid public restrooms whenever possible. However, if you have to squat down and do your business, I have one place to recommend if you ever find yourself there. This past weekend, my daughter had a dance competition at the Scottish Rite in St. Louis. It's an old building with old fashioned bathrooms. Even though it's a hard seat, the toilet seats in those restrooms are comfortable. They are molded to fit one's butt nicely.

Sorry to get semi-scattalogical on you.

This post on VerySmartBrothers.com is worth a read: "The National Park Service Guy's Face When Getting That Bullshit Check from Trump Is The Blackest Thing That Ever Happened This Week." 

Check out this article about the show that will come out later this month: "One of the Best Trump Impersonators Is Getting His Own Late-Night Comedy Show." 

Random Notes from a Crank

The other day a friend on Facebook shared a listicle about left handers. One of the few surprises of that click bait was that only 10% of the population is left handed. That's astonishing to me. Only 10 flippin' percent. How is that even possible? I know back in the bad old days, people would "turn" lefties into righties for various stupid, inane, and insane reasons. But you'd think so-called progress would catch up and produce more lefties in this world. 

As you can tell, I'm a southpaw. 

It's not surprising the Raiders got approved to move to Las Vegas. Not soon after the news hit, there are various articles featuring a businessman who is providing the Pirate's Booty Sports Brothel. 

I need to start reading Informed Comment by Juan Cole more often. I've now put it on my "Blog Roll." Check out "The Simple Number That Will Defeat Trump's Attempt to Roll Back Obama Energy Policies." 

In the March issue of Harper's, the magazine has an excerpt from Simple Sabotage Field Manual put out in 1944 by the U.S. Office of Strategic Services, which is a manual intended for people living in "enemy states" at the time. What I find darkly humorous about the manual is that many of the recommendations I see happening in organizations -- both public and private, both government and industry -- all the time. Here are some juicy snippets related to to the behavior and actions of Employees, Managers and Supervisors, and Organizations and Conferences (which I quote in full):

• Employees: "When you go to the lavatory spend a longer time there than is necessary." 
• Managers and Supervisors: "To lower morale and production, be pleasant to inefficient workers; give them undeserved promotions."
• Managers and Supervisors: "Hold conferences when there is more critical work to be done." 
• Organizations and Conferences: "Make 'speeches.' Talk at great length, illustrate your 'points' with long anecdotes and accounts of personal experiences. Bring up irrelevant issues as frequently as possible. Haggle over precise wordings of communications. When possible, refer all matters to committee for 'further study and consideration.' Attempt to make the committees as large and bureaucratic as possible." 

Stay Positive: Bizarro Comics

I get Dan Piraro's comics via my FB feed.

Here are two that I particularly enjoy. 

These two come from his "Disguising Insanity" post from yesterday. Check out the guy's work. 

Random Notes from a Crank

I was happily surprised to read Tom Philpott's article in the May/June issue of Mother Jones. In "Playing Chicken," the author informs readers about how Perdue, the chicken industry giant, has gone to not using antibiotics. Let's hope other meat producers follow their lead because Perdue has based its decision on science and the fact that antibiotics really don't significantly increase weight gain. 

The President killed it at this year's White House Correspondents' Dinner. 

I'm not surprised at all that students who have a "consumer" mindset to their coursework often get lower grades than students who see themselves as learners. Read all about it in "Students with Consumer Mindset Get Lower Grades." The final ¶ is noteworthy because students are getting that attitude from somewhere: "Government, too, should be cautious when talking about the ‘value’ of higher education purely in terms of a financial transaction as it may encourage students to feel like they are simply buying their degree. As a result, they may start to develop a ‘you teach me’ attitude rather than one that fosters effortful engagement with their chosen subject.”

I'm glad to see the Game of Thrones tv series has rediscovered the Iron Islands. I suspect they'll play catch-up with the books as new happenings unfold. I had suspected Ian McShane will play Victarion Greyjoy, one of my favorite characters in the books, but that doesn't seem to be the case. 

Random Notes from a Crank

Today is my birthday. I think I was in my late 20s when my attitude toward birthdays changed. People like to celebrate 'em, but when it comes down to it, it's just another day closer to death. I'll take and appreciate the presents and kind notes from friends though. I'm not that dark. 

My birthday presents were a couple of new wristwatches. Over the holidays I lost my trusty brown-leather-band Peugeot watch that I've probably had for at least a decade. I've replaced a few batteries and bands over the years. I got one watch with Roman numerals that's a bit dressier, and I got another with numbers that's more casual.

I've heard people say that watches are no longer being worn as much because people look at the time via their smartphones. I think there's a bit of bunk to that notion because often people ask me what time it is because they see I have a wristwatch on.  

The national championship game is tonight. Of course, I'm sore that the Crimson Tide squad is not in it. I'll be rooting for Oregon. Ohio State is a hot team though. Their big plays and the injuries Alabama players sustained in the second half did the Tide in.  

The good guys got revenge in the Iron Bowl and then won the SEC Championship, so there's a bit of solace in those happenings.

Stay Positive: Rereading Candide

It's kind of rich that I'm writing about rereading Voltaire's Candide in a "Stay Positive" post because the title of the satire is Candide or Optimism. 

Nonetheless, I read it again. The first time I read it I was probably 19 years old. We read it in my World Lit II survey course with Professor Nancy Lovelace when I was a sophomore in college -- Fall 1990.

I enjoyed rereading it, but I recall the first read having a greater impact on me. It's one of those works of literature I think most teenagers should read. 

I could say the same about Tolstoy's "The Death of Ivan Ilych," which we also read in that course. 

What I've listed below are my favorite nuggets from Candide, some of which will probably reveal why I think young people should read it:

• Candide, stunned, stupefied, despairing, bleeding, trembling, said to himself--If this is the best of all possible worlds, what are the others like? (Chapter 6)
• Los Padres own everything in it [Paraguay], and the people nothing; it's a masterpiece of reason and justice. (Chapter 13)
• What's optimism? said Cacambo. --Alas, said Candide, it is a mania for saying things are well when one is in hell. (Chapter 19)
• ... in all of them [provinces of France] the principle occupation is lovemaking, the second is slander, and the third stupid talk. (Chapter 21)
• I don't believe any of that stuff [religion], said Martin, nor any of the dreams which people have been peddling for some time now. --But why, then, was the world formed at all? asked Candide. --To drive us mad, answered Martin. (Chapter 21)
• Perhaps I should prefer the opera, if they had not found ways to make it revolting and monstrous. Anyone who likes bad tragedies set to music is welcome to them; in these performances the scenes serve only to introduce, inappropriately, two or three ridiculous songs designed to show off the actress's sound box. (Chapter 25)
• Fools admire everything in a well-known author. (Chapter 25)
• --Well, my dear Pangloss, Candide said to him, now that you have been hanged, dissected, beaten to a pulp, and sentenced to the galleys, do you still think everything is for the best in this world? --I am still of my first opinion, replied Pangloss; for after all I am a philosopher... (Chapter 28)
• I have only twenty acres, replied the Turk; I cultivate them with my children, and the work keeps us from three great evils, boredom, vice, and poverty. (Chapter 30)
• --That is very well put, said Candide, but we must cultivate our garden. (Chapter 30)

Stay Positive: The Beautiful Wishes of Ugly Men by Adam Prince

When I read the title of this short story collection, I was intrigued. 

Because I'm a man (and over "forty" as Mike Gundy is famous for saying) and I'm a sucker for good short story collections (the book is highly rated on Amazon), I thought I'd see what all the hubbub was about. 

On the back of the book, one person proclaims, "These stories scared the hell out of me."

Another opines, "Woman [sic] can learn more from these stories than from thousands of issue of Cosmopolitan." Well, that task shouldn't be too hard though I'm always curious about Cosmo because most of the articles in the rag mag seem to be about getting more and different kinds of nooky. What up with that? 

But I digress. 

It's a strong collection of stories. Some of my favorites are "Big Wheels for Adults," "Tranquility," "Keener," and "Bruises and Baby Teeth." Those are stories I might read again. 

Here are some snapshots:

From "Big Wheels for Adults": "And as he spoke, be began to think about the difficulty of accounting for the distance between who a person was and who that person would like to be, between ourselves and the performances we put on for those we hope will love us."

From "Tranquility": "Reaching for the coriander, Clare noticed that Miss Kim wasn't wearing any panties and that her private region was completely shaven. So instead of asking Miss Kim what country she was from, Clare decided to wash down one hundred and fifty milligrams of Sobritol with as much vodka as she could swallow." 

From "Keener": "'Because if you do. If you want me to--I will unloose the primal me.' 
'Oh, god,' said Amanda, 'Don't do that.'"

From "Bruises and Baby Teeth": "Walt had an answer. He did. It was intricate and lovely, a kind of confession."

And here's a review of the book at PANK. 

Random Notes from a Crank

I've read a lot of literature over the years. One lesson I've learned from various stories written by American authors from the 20th century is that if there's a married man and woman who have kids, it's not a good idea for the husband to take the babysitter home. I talking about you, John Cheever, Robert Coover, and John Updike. 

Another lesson I learned was "White folks crazy."

NPR had a story up recently about bias within a survey about young adult novels: "When A Popular List of 100 'Best-Ever' Teen Books Is the 'Whitest Ever.'" 

Sherman Alexie has some things to say in "Why the Best Kids Books Are Written in Blood." 

Recently I rediscovered a poem I really like, so I'm sharing it:

The Loon on Forrester's Pond
By Hayden Carruth

Summer wilderness, a blue light
twinkling in the trees and water, but even
wilderness is deprived now. "What's that?
What is that sound?" Then it came to me, 
this insane song, wavering music
like the cry of the genie inside the lamp,
it came from inside the long wilderness
of my life, a loon's song, and there he was
swimming on the pond, guarding
his mate's nest by the shore,
diving and staying under
unbelievable minutes and coming up
where no one was looking. My friend
told how once in his boyhood
he had seen a loon swimming beneath his boat,
a shape dark and powerful
down in that silent mysterious world, and how
it had ejected a plume of white excrement
curving behind. "It was beautiful,"
he said.

The loon
broke the stillness over the water
again and again,
broke the wilderness
with his song, truly
a vestige, the laugh that transcends
first all mirth
and then all sorrow
and finally all knowledge, dying
into the gentlest quavering timeless
woe. It seemed
the only real and only sanity to me.  

Random Notes from a Crank

Having inside knowledge can create psychological burdens for whistle blowers. For instance, based on my observations from frequenting men's restrooms, there are just some people you do not want to shake hands with. Wash your hands, you filthy animals! 

I feel better now. 

Even raccoon kits wash their hands. See below: 




There was a good tweet today by LOLGOP: "BREAKING: Republicans to accidentally nominate the creator of Obamacare. Developing..."

I've linked this before, but the political season has got me thinking about Lewis Black's take on America's two political parties. See below again:





Good old Lewis Black.

George Carlin on Baseball and Football

I don't why this floated into my consciousness today, but I was remembering back to a meeting months ago (January if I remember right). The three of us who were there early did some typical small talk, and the topic of sports came up, One person derided the value of football for American culture, and I mentioned the famous routine by George Carlin about the differences between baseball and football.

The other two people had neither seen nor heard of Carlin's routine. I was surprised by that, but then again, George Carlin is one my favorite comedians.

So today, if you're so inclined, enjoy Carlin's explication of the two sports and what they might say about America.

Random Notes from a Crank

I tried a new beer recently. It's Shiner's Ruby Redbird. Normally, I despise any beer that has fruit in it, especially when people use limes as an adjunct in Mexican beer, especially Corona, one of the worst beers in the world. Well, there's also the beauty and horror that is Rhinelander lager, but that's another story. But I was surprised by the product out of Spoetzl Brewery in Shiner, Texas. They put ruby red grapefruit and ginger into the wort. And it works. The sourness and bitterness of the grapefruit juice works much like hops and isn't overpowering. I didn't taste any ginger at all though. It's certainly a "lawnmower beer," a summer brew that isn't heavy and seems to refresh you. I recommend the beer after doing some work outside on a hot day if you want to try something different. But you have to like grapefruit juice to like the beer. Fair warning.

On Saturday, we got a brief respite of drizzling rain here in East Central Illinois. It was just a tease to make us try to forget how screwed farmers are because of the drought. I haven't mowed my lawn in almost two months.

The Green Party selected its presidential nominee. Dr. Jill Stein will run, and the campaign qualifies for federal matching funds. As the media coordinator of the Green Party argues, "The United States desperately needs another party." In the AP story about her nomination, Stein is quoted as saying, "We need real public servants who listen to the people -- not to corporate lobbyists that funnel campaign checks into the big war chests. That's what brought me to the Green Party, the only national party that is not bought and paid for by corporate money." If she had a chance in Hades of winning, and I don't even know if she'll even be on the ballot here in Illinois, I'd vote for her.

If you're a fan of rhetoric, dark humor, and acerbic wit, read Jourdon Anderson's letter to his former master enslaver, Colonel P. H. Anderson of Tennessee.

Random Notes from a Crank

I judge books by their covers. Literally. We all do it. If a book has an interesting cover, we're enticed. Admit it. So let's stop using that damn cliche.

I recently read one of the best arguments against the "whole-language approach" to reading and "the adoption of an unhealthy compromise called 'mixed' or 'balanced reading' instruction" (221). It's Chapter 5--Learning to Read" in Reading in the Brain: The Science and Evolution of a Human Invention by Stanislas Dehaene. If you have young children or care about the literacy of young children, I highly recommend the chapter, if not the whole book.

This weekend, we got to watching the Back to the Future trilogy. As movie trilogies go, it's not a very good one. But my daughter found it funny and hopeful that in Part 2, which is set in 2015, the Cubs win the World Series.

One of the few reality TV shows that I watch is Food Network Star. I'm rooting for Team Alton, particularly Justin and Emily, to beat Teams Bobby and Giada. If there's someone from a different team I'd like to see win, it's Malcolm from Team Bobby. The dark part of this whole televised exercise in stress is that from what I recall of past "stars" who won the competition, besides the ubiquitous Guy Fieri, their shows don't seem to have the highest profile slots. Then again, I didn't watch the last two seasons because I got bored with the program.

With all this talk about finally implementing a playoff system for college football, I propose a system not discussed yet. It's not the current BCS system. It's not a final four of best four teams based on BCS standings and/or a selection committee. It's not a plus one system. It's not a system that rewards teams that won their conference while showing off a record sporting two or three losses. I propose the top four teams  in the SEC play the best four teams outside the SEC in a eight-round, seeded playoff.

Random Notes from a Crank

The plaque below comes from the carousel area near the Butterfly House in St. Louis County where the kids, Mrs. Nasty, and I spent the morning before my daughter's big dance competition at Kirkwood High School.

In contrast to that quotation, here's the nugget of wisdom I got from my fortune cookie at P.F. Chang's in Chesterfield: "Enjoy life! It is better to be happy than wise." Really? Is that so? Let's do a close reading of this sentiment lurching toward an aphorism. First off, the first independent clause is in the imperative mode, giving an order to the reader, which is a risky syntactical maneuver. To compound that risk, the author implores the reader to follow a cliche, and it is one that is a heck of a lot harder to follow than you would think with the daily drudgery, politics, and emotional flotsam and jetsam you have to trudge through. And then to finish it with an exclamation point, the most worthless punctuation mark in existence, turns the advice into a statement like the ones you might find on your junior high school yearbooks. It's as genuine as "Have a great summer!" But the second sentence, "It is better to be happy than be wise," is a psychological/philosophical kick in the short-n-curlies. Really, happiness trumps wisdom? Has Confucius been replaced with Bozo the Clown, the sophomore who is rationalizing flunking out of college, or the drunk, creepy guy at the end of the bar who you had a conversation with once that ended with you having to make up how you forgot about having to meet someone. The core claim of that sentence is that happiness trumps wisdom. Ponder that a good while. Also, why a dichotomy? Why an implied either-or proposition here, happiness vs. wisdom? Wouldn't Buddha say that true wisdom is seeing that happiness is a construct we create, that we need to see through such constructs? Regardless, I think it's important to attempt to both be wise and happy and that maybe both are interconnected.

This whole rant has got me thinking about one of my favorite jokes:

• What did Buddha say to the hot dog vendor?
• "Make me one with everything." 

Also, the fortune cookie reminds me what Dean Wormer said to "Mr. Dorfman," aka Flounder, in Animal House.




I think P.F. Chang's should use some of my dark fortunes. That would make me happy and spread wisdom.

Because this Dance Moms show seems to be such a big hit, I'm thinking about pitching a spinoff called Dance Dads. What I envision is that it's a documentary of the competitive dance competition scene as seen through the inner monologues of the dance dads at home or at the events. It would be like a cross between Mystery Science Theater 3000 and reality TV. The show would present the interactions of characters, but there would be voice-overs of what dads are thinking at certain times. There could be some dark humor in such a show--probably would need to be on HBO.