Fumbling Toward Culinary Talent: Blue Cheese Dressing

This recipe is simply a small variation on the recipe in The Joy of Cooking. 

I've had a patch of garlic chives in my garden for over a decade, so I added chives, and I used white wine vinegar instead of red wine vinegar. 

Ingredients

1 cup of mayonnaise (I prefer Duke's)

1/2 cup of sour cream

1-2 tablespoons of white wine vinegar

2 tablespoons of chopped parsley

2 tablespoons of chives

Kosher salt and freshly cracked black pepper to taste

1-2 cloves of garlic, minced

4 ounces of crumbled blue cheese

Process

Whisk together everything except the blue cheese in a mixing bowl. Fold in the blue cheese and move to some manner of dressing container. 

Fumbling Toward Culinary Talent: Cajun Sausage and Veggies

I made up this dish with what I had lying around. I used my Blackstone griddle.

Ingredients

1 lb. of turkey kielbasa but into half moons 

1/2 head of cabbage

1 cup of cauliflower florets

1 cup of broccoli florets

1 small yellow onion, diced

Avocado oil 

Brickstone Cajun seasoning

Process

I put the griddle to medium heat and dumped all the ingredients, added some oil, and added seasoning. 

Cook it for a while, flip the ingredients from time to time, add oil and seasoning as you go, and it's done in about 20 minutes. 

Fumbling Toward Culinary Talent: Modified Pasta alla Zozzona with Mushrooms

This recipe is a modification of the "Dumbed-Down Pasta alla Zozzona" I made recently. 

I cut the bacon and added garlic and mushrooms. 

Ingredients

1 lb. of Italian sausage

1 medium yellow onion, diced

2 egg yolks

1 egg

1/2 cup of Parmesan-Romano cheese

A healthy amount of cracked black pepper

3 cloves of garlic, minced

2 bay leaves

1 package of fresh mushrooms, sliced

1 teaspoon of red pepper flakes

1/2 cup of dry white wine (I used a Chardonnay)

1 bottle of pasatta (I used the Rutti brand)

1 lb. of penne pasta (use the tubular pasta of your choice)

Process

I used a Dutch oven for this dish, but if you have a very large saute pan, that will work too. 

I cooked the pasta and then drained it while doing this. Reserve some pasta water in case you need to thin out the sauce a bit. 

Set to medium heat, add a little extra virgin olive oil, add in the onion and bay leaves, cook the onion for roughly ten minutes, and add in the sausage. Cook the sausage thoroughly. I broke up the sausage with potato masher and mixed the sausage and onion together.  

Add the wine, set to high to burn off the alcohol, then move the heat to just under medium heat 

Add in the garlic and pepper flakes and cook for a minute or two. Take out the bay leaves and add the sliced mushrooms. 

Add in the passata and do a low-key simmer for approximately 15 minutes. 

Combine the egg yolks, egg, cheese, and a ton of freshly cracked black pepper. Mix thoroughly. 

Add the pasta into the Dutch oven. Thoroughly mix it in and cook for approximately 5-10 minutes. 

Taste to see if you need to add salt and pepper (I added a little of each). 

Take the Dutch oven off the heat and mix in the egg-cheese mixture. Serve. 

Fumbling Toward Culinary Talent: Dumbed-Down Pasta alla Zozzona

I subscribe to Sip and Feast on YouTube, and this is a variation of his recipe. I don't think I've ever seen guanciale around these parts of east-central Illinois. Hell, I rarely see pancetta around here. 

And since I only see pecorino romano at Aldi on occasion, I just had to use parmesan. 

And before I watched the video, I had no idea what the heck pasatta was. I was able to acquire that via the InterWebs. 

If you want a truly Roman version of this dish, check out "Pasta alla Zozzona - The Secret Roman Pasta I Can't Stop Making." 

After we ate this today, the comment I made to Mrs. Nasty was that if I had to add anything to this dish, it would be mushrooms. I don't know if that would be a sacrilege or not. 

Ingredients

4 slices of good bacon, cut into small pieces

1 lb. of Italian sausage

1 medium yellow onion, diced

2 egg yolks

1 egg

1/2 cup of Parmesan-Romano cheese

A healthy amount of cracked black pepper

1 teaspoon of red pepper flakes

1/2 cup of dry white wine

1 bottle of pasatta (I used the Rutti brand)

1 lb. of penne pasta (use the tubular pasta of your choice)

Process

I used a Dutch oven for this dish, but if you have a very large saute pan, that will work too. 

Place the bacon into the oven and render it. Pull it out and drain on a plate lined with paper towels. 

I cooked the pasta and then drained it while doing this. Reserve some pasta water in case you need to thin out the sauce a bit. 

Set to medium heat and add in the sausage. Cook halfway through and add in the onion. I broke up the sausage with potato masher and mixed the sausage and onion together. 

Add the pepper flakes and distribute them for a minute or two. 

Add the wine, set to high to burn off the alcohol, then move the heat to just under medium heat, and add the Passata. 

Combine the egg yolks, egg, cheese, and a ton of freshly cracked black pepper. Mix thoroughly. 

Set the sauce to a low-key simmer for approximately 15 minutes and add the pasta. Thoroughly mix it in and cook for approximately 10 minutes. 

Taste to see if you need to add salt (I added a little). 

Take the Dutch oven off the heat and mix in the egg-cheese mixture. Serve. 

One of the aspects of this dish that surprised me is that it does not call for any garlic at all.  

Fumbling Toward Culinary Talent: Spicy Green Sauce

I got the basis of this recipe from a guy on YouTube who does good work, Sip and Feast. I modified it a bit according to my taste. 

Ingredients

1 cup of sour cream

1/4 cup of mayonnaise

1/4 cup of diced yellow onion

3 cloves of garlic 

Half of a lime, juiced

1 Serrano pepper, seeds and membrane removed (or pepper of your choice)

1/2 cup of fresh cilantro

1 teaspoon of kosher salt

1 teaspoon of Penzey's Salsa seasoning

Smidge of Penzey's Justice seasoning 

Process

It's pretty easy. Put everything into a blender. Blend until smooth and transfer to squeeze bottle of some sort. 

I original recipe called for a jalapeño, but I don't have any of those, so I used a Serrano. 

I might try this with a Caribbean Red Hot habanero I grew last summer. 

Fumbling Toward Culinary Talent: Spicy Ham and Cabbage Stir-Fry

The base of this recipe can be found in this recipe article (gifted) from The Washington Post. 

I modified according to what had at the house. I use minced ginger from a small squeeze bottle that I got from one of my local supermarkets.  

Ingredients

• 2-3 TB of avocado oil
• 1/2 head of green cabbage, thinly sliced
• 1 small sweet onion, cut thinly
• 8 oz of ham cubed
• 1 TB of minced ginger
• 1/4 cup of hoisin sauce
• 1 TB of fresh lime juice
• 1 ts of Sambal Oelek
• Salt and pepper to taste

Process

Put the oil in a cast-iron skillet and heat to medium-high heat. Once it's properly heated, put the onion and cabbage in. Add salt and pepper. Cook for approximately 5-8 minutes stirring frequently. 

Move the heat down to medium. Add the ham and ginger and stir from time to time for about five minutes. 

Add the hoisin sauce and Sambal Oelek and stir thoroughly. Cook for about a minute or two. Check for seasoning and serve over rice. 

When I do this again, I'd probably add more cabbage, reduce the amount of ham, and maybe add some other vegetables.

Fumbling Toward Culinary Talent: Comeback Sauce

I got the basics of this recipe from watching either Cooks' Country or America's Test Kitchen on my local PBS station.

It's a common sauce to pair with fried fish in the Deep South. 

Ingredients

• 1/2 cup of mayo
• 1/4 cup of minced yellow or Vidalia onion
• 2 TB of avocado oil
• 2 TB of chili sauce
• 1 TB of ketchup
• 2 1/2 ts of Worcestshire sauce
• 2 1/2 ts of hot sauce (I used Alabama Sunshine)
• 1 clove of garlic, minced
• 1 ts of yellow mustard
• 1 ts of lemon juice
• 1 ts of Penzey's Justice seasoning
• 1 ts of cracked black pepper
• 1 ts of paprika

Process

It's pretty simple. Put it all into a mixing bowl and whisk. I sautéed the onion for a bit because I'm not a fan of raw onions. If I were to amp up the recipe a bit, I might put some cayenne pepper and smoked paprika into the mix. 

Fumbling Toward Culinary Talent: Black and White Bean Chicken Chili

I made a recipe tonight that I'm sure I'll try again. It's based on a recipe from The Washington Post, but what I provide here is how I modified it and how I plan to make it in the future. 

Ingredients

• 2-3 TB of olive oil
• 1 medium size yellow or Vidalia onion, chopped finely
• 1 serrano pepper, chopped finely (more if you want it spicy)
• 3 cloves of garlic, minced
• 2 TB of smoked paprika
• 2 TB of ground cumin
• 2 TB Tastefully Simple Wahoo Chili seasoning
• 6 cups of low-sodium chicken stock
• 1 can of cannellini or great northern beans, drained and rinsed
• 1 can of black beans, drained and rinsed
• 1 lb. of chicken breasts or boneless thighs, cooked in a slow cooker and shredded
• 2 4 oz. cans of diced green chili peppers
• Salt and pepper to taste
• 1-2 TB of Penzey's Justice seasoning

Process

Some of the modifications I made were amount of chicken stock, the chili seasoning, and the canned green chili peppers. Also, I wouldn't use an immersion blender to half of the cans of the white beans. What's the point? 

Use the slow cooker for the chicken for about 6-8 hours on low. I've been marinating my chicken in pickle brine, so I just marinate it overnight and put the bird parts into the slow cooker. 

Once ready to make the chili, put the olive oil into a pot, add the onions, and sauté on medium-high heat for 5-10 minutes. Reduce the heat to medium, add in the hot pepper and cook for two minutes. Then add in the garlic and cook for a minute.

Dump in the smoked paprika, cumin, and chili seasoning. Stir the spices around to coat the aromatics. Add in the chicken stock and scrape the bits off the bottom. 

Get it simmering for ten minutes. During this time shred the chicken. Add the chicken, beans, and green chilis to the broth. Simmer for approximately ten minutes. Season with salt and pepper to taste. Add in Penzey's Justice seasoning. 

Fumbling Toward Culinary Talent: Slow Cooker Creamy Buffalo Chicken

I've made versions of this dish before, but I put a wrinkle into it (marinating the chicken in pickle brine) that made me like it even more. 

Ingredients

• 1 cup of pickle juice/brine
• 3 chicken breasts, sliced in half lengthways
• 1 12oz. bottle of Frank's Red Hot Wings Buffalo sauce
• 1/2 to a full block of cream cheese
• 1 TB of Penzey's Justice seasoning

Process

Cut the breasts in half lengthways, put them into a large plastic bag, and add in the pickle juice. Refrigerate for a day. 

Set your slow cooker on low and take the chicken tenderloins out, letting the pickle brine drip off it into the plastic bag, and place them into the slow cooker. I didn't pat them dry--just let them have a bit of the pickle juice into the mix. 

Dump in the Frank's sauce into the cooker. Cook for about two hours or so, and then dump in cream cheese. Adjust how much cream cheese you put in according to how hot you want it. 

About six hours in, take out the chicken and shred it after letting it rest for 15 minutes. As the chicken is resting, take a whisk to fully incorporate the cream cheese. Add the Penzey's Justice seasoning. 

Let it cook for another hour or so and put it over egg noodles, rice, mashed potatoes, or riced cauliflower.  

Fumbling Toward Culinary Talent: Ranch Dressing

Mrs. Nasty doesn't like buttermilk ranch dressing. If I use ranch dressing, I prefer it to be buttermilk ranch, but for the purpose of making a ranch dressing from scratch without buttermilk and without all the chemicals, I happened upon this recipe by chance. 

I tape episodes of Cook's Country from America's Test Kitchen, the cooking show you can find on your local PBS station. The most recent episode I watched had a recipe for fried cheese curds with ranch dressing. 

That's the base for this recipe, which I tweaked a little bit. 

Ingredients

• 2 tablespoons of fresh chives, chopped finely
• 2 tablespoons of fresh cilantro, chopped finely
• 1 1/2 tablespoons of fresh dill, chopped finely
• 1/4 cup of milk
• 1/3 cup of mayo
• 3 tablespoons of sour cream
• 1 small clove of garlic, minced
• 1 teaspoon of white wine vinegar
• 1/2 teaspoon of Penzey's roasted garlic
• Pinch of cayenne pepper
• Salt and pepper to taste

Process

It's pretty simple. Put it all into a big bowl and whisk vigorously. Put in enough salt and pepper to your taste. 

Fumbling Toward Culinary Talent: Slow Cooker Cubed Steak with Mushroom Gravy and Mashed Potatoes

This is my third version of this recipe, and I think I got it to exactly the way I like it. There was a recipe in 2022 and another in 2017. 

So here goes. I liked using the cream of mushroom soup better.

Ingredients

2 lbs. of cubed steak

1 can of cream of mushroom soup

1 can of French onion soup

Water

1-2 cups of beef stock

1 package of mushrooms, sliced

Healthy smidge of Penzey's Beef Roast seasoning

Very healthy smidge of Penzey's Northwoods seasoning

Freshly cracked black pepper

Kosher salt to taste

Roughly 6-8 tablespoons of AP flour (depends on how thick you want the gravy)

Process

In the past when I worked with cubed steak, it was just too thick, so I trimmed off any excess fat and tenderized it even more with a mallet, so the steak was super thin and tenderized. 

In the slow cooker on low, add the cans of soup and cup of beef stock. I added some water to the can of cream of mushroom soup and poured it in. I added beef stock to the French onion soup can and pour it in. Add in the seasonings and add them throughout the process as needed. 

Whisk it all together and then place the cubed steak into the gravy. Cook on low for roughly eight hours. 

When it's around the last hour of cooking, make your mashed potatoes. And then put in your sliced mushrooms. Liberally apply cracked black pepper and salt as needed. 

As you're making the mashed potatoes, pull out the cubed steak. 

I ditched the corn starch in the previous version and just went old school with flour. Turn up the heat to high and add in two tablespoons of flour at a time and whisk vigorously. Add as much flour from time to time to get the thickness you like. 

Serve the steak and gravy over mashed potatoes. 

Fumbling Toward Culinary Talent: Turkey Brine

Over the past few years, I have brined turkey before roasting it. 

Here's the recipe I've used. I use an old baseball bucket with lid to brine the turkey and keep it out in the garage since it's cold in late November around these parts. 

Ingredients

5 bay leaves

A healthy smidge of peppercorns

5 garlic cloves

1 small onion chopped roughly

1 1/2 cups of kosher salt

1 cup of light brown sugar

5 quarts of water

Process

I put one quart of water in a pot and dump the brown sugar and salt into it. Heat the water to melt the sugar and water. Let it set for a while and then add the water into the bucket and the other water into the bucket. Place the turkey into the bucket and seal with lid. 

Brine it from anywhere from 12 to 24 hours. 

Fumbling Toward Culinary Talent: Stracotto, aka Italian Pot Roast

I watched a YouTube video the other day and decided to make this recipe. The video is from the dude on Sip and Feast, but you can see his recipe on his website "Stracotto (Italian Pot Roast)." 

I followed his recipe for the most part but made some slight changes. And I'm making this post here, so I can easily find it again. 

We have a number of chuck roasts in the freezer, so I'm looking for ways to use them. 

Ingredients

1 chuck roast

8 cloves of garlic, cut into slivers

3-4 tablespoons of olive oil

1 yellow onion, chopped finely

2 carrots, peeled and shredded on a box grater

3 ribs of celery, shredded on a box grater

3 tablespoons of tomato paste

1 28 oz. can of crushed tomatoes

1 1/2 cups of red wine--I used a Cabernet

2 cups of beef stock

4 large bay leaves

A healthy smidge of Penny's Tuscan Sunset seasoning

Kosher salt

Cracked black pepper

Process 

Heat the oven to 325 degrees. 

Use a large Dutch oven with a lid. Dry off the chuck roast and cut slits into the side of the roast. Insert the slivers of garlic into the roast and liberally salt and pepper the roast. 

Add the olive oil to the Dutch oven on medium-high heat and sear the roast on all sides. Set aside the roast. 

Move the heat to medium, add the onions, add salt, and add a bit of water (1/4 cup) to remove the bits off the bottom of the oven. Cook the onion for roughly 8 minutes and then add the shredded carrots and celery. Cook for about 10-15 minutes until really soft.

Add the tomato paste and cook for just a minute and incorporate it into the veggie mixture. Add the wine and use a wooden spoon to scrape up the bits off the bottom of the oven. Simmer the wine for about 10 minutes.  

Add in the beef stock, remaining garlic that has been chopped finely, bay leaves, and seasoning. 

Turn off the heat, put the roast into the braising liquid, secure the lid, and pop it into the oven for three hours. 

Take out the roast and check the internal temperature. Tent some aluminum foil over the top of it and let it rest. Skim off the fat/grease in the pot by using paper towels. 

Shread the beef and return it to the Dutch oven. 

I served mine with linguini, but you can easily put this over mashed potatoes.  

Fumbling Toward Culinary Talent: Spicy Beef Lettuce Wraps

I am pretty sure this recipe is inspired by P.F. Chang's lettuce wraps, but if I remember right, that restaurant does lettuce wraps with chicken, not beef. At least that's what Mrs. Nasty thinks.

I found this recipe on The Washington Post, but I modified it a bit since I don't have "Shaoxing wine" or dry sherry. I just used a chardonnay. 

Ingredients

1/4 cup of water

3 tablespoons of oyster sauce

2 tablespoons of white wine

1 lb. of ground beef

1 medium poblano pepper, chopped finely

1/2 of a bell pepper, chopped finely

5 green onions, chopped thinly

1 tablespoon of Sambal Oelek

1 tablespoon of minced ginger

1 head of Bibb or Boston lettuce

Process

Make the oyster sauce by whisking the water, oyster sauce, and wine and set aside. 

Brown the beef and drain. 

Add the peppers and scallions and cook until softened. Add in the chile-garlic sauce and ginger and cook for less than a minute. Stir in the beef and oyster sauce. 

Serve by putting the beef mixture into lettuce leaves as wraps. 

Fumbling Toward Culinary Talent: Spinach-Artichoke Dip

I got Colbert's Does This Taste Funny? cookbook a while back, and I've been trying out the recipes. All of them I've done have been good so far. 

I made the warm artichoke dip, but Mrs. Nasty called for spinach in it, so I adapted Colbert's recipe. 

Ingredients

3/4 cup of mayo

1/2 cup of grated Parmesan cheese

1 can of artichoke hearts, chopped into small pieces

1/4-1/3 cup of cooked spinach, drained

1/2 teaspoon of garlic salt

Salt and pepper to taste

Paprika 

Process

Pre-heat the oven to 425 degrees. In a mixing bowl, add all these ingredients together and transfer to an oven-safe bowl of some sort. Sprinkle paprika on top of the concoction. 

Bake for 12-15 minutes, take it out, and let it cool for approximately 10 minutes. 

Fumbling Toward Culinary Talent: Disappointed Man Cocktail

I just made this cocktail, and I kind of like it. 

I'm going to name it what I am, a disappointed man. 

Ingredients

2 oz. of bourbon--I used Evan Williams, but I would prefer something stronger like Wild Turkey 101, Old Forester 100, Evan Williams Bonded, or Benchmark Bonded, et al. 

Ginger ale

Healthy dashes of bitters

Process

In a Collins glass, put in four ice cubes. Add the bourbon, refrigerated ginger ale, and few healthy dashes of bitters. 

Drink and feel your anxiety. 

Fumbling Toward Culinary Talent: Taco Seasoning

We got some homemade taco seasoning from a friend last Xmas. This is my modification of the recipe. I like using this stuff instead of those store-bought taco seasonings that have maltodrextin in it, which is a terrible ingredient. 

Ingredients

1/2 cup of chili powder

1/4 cup of ground cumin

1 tablespoon of smoked paprika 

3 teaspoons of regular paprika

3 teaspoons of garlic powder

3 teaspoons of onion powder

2 teaspoons of Penzey's Tuscan Sunset seasoning

2 teaspoons of dried cilantro

2 teaspoons of black pepper

2 teaspoons of red pepper flakes

2 teaspoons of kosher salt. 

Process

Mix up this stuff. 

After you've cooked the meat you're using for tacos, drain off the grease. Clean your skillet with a paper towel and return the meat to the skillet. Add 1-2 tablespoons of the seasoning and 1/2 cup of water. Simmer for about five minutes or so until thick. 

Fumbling Toward Culinary Talent: Blueberry Cornbread

I got this recipe from one of the episodes of either Cooks' Country or America's Test Kitchen on PBS.  

Ingredients

1 1/2 cups of AP flour

1 cup of yellow corn meal

3/4 cup of sugar

2 teaspoons of baking powder

1 teaspoon of salt

12 tablespoons of melted butter (cooled)

1 cup of whole milk

2 eggs

2 cups of blueberries

Process

Set the oven to 375 degrees. Put the dry ingredients together and whisk. In a separate bowl, whisk together the wet ingredients (butter, milk, and eggs) and then combine the wet with the dry ingredients. 

You don't want to overwork the batter--just get it mixed. Add the blueberries until mixed. 

Grease a cast iron skillet with butter and sprinkle corn meal on the surface so the cornbread comes out cleanly. 

Pour the batter into the skillet. Sprinkle the top of the batter with sugar. Cook for roughly 40 minutes until a paring knife comes out clean. 

Fumbling Toward Culinary Talent: Pickled Shrimp

I got the basics of this recipe from an episode of one of the PBS cooking shows I watch on a regular basis. It was featured either on Cook's Country or America's Test Kitchen. 

This recipe is a big one, so when I make this again, I'll probably cut the recipe in half because I'm the only one eating this stuff. 2 pounds shrimp is a lot of shrimp. 

Ingredients

2 lbs. of cooked shrimp-they called for jumbo shrimp, but I just used some frozen Kroger-brand, already cooked and devained shrimp and thawed them out. 

2 garlic cloves, smashed or chopped

1 cup of cider vinegar

1/4 cup of sugar

3 bay leaves

1 ts of ground coriander

1/2 ts of red pepper flakes

1 cup of sliced red onion

1 lemon cut into wedges

1 cup extra virgin olive oil

4 TB of capers chopped

1 TB of dill seed

1 TB of dill weed

2 TB of dijon mustard

1 TB of hot sauce

1 TB of Worcestershire 

1 TB of salt

Process

Thaw and drain the shrimp. I used medium size, but I'd probably prefer jumbo shrimp, which as a term is an oxymoron. 

In a large bowl mix the vinegar, sugar, bay leaves, coriander, and pepper flakes. Microwave the liquid for two minutes. Whisk. 

Add the red onion and lemon wedges into the mixture. Add the oil, capers, dill, dijon, hot sauce, Worcestershire, and salt. Whisk to make it a dressing. 

Add in the shrimp and refrigerate for at least a day. Throughout the day be sure mix up the concoction, so it's evenly coated. 

Fumbling Toward Culinary Talent: Cheese Sandwiches

A good while ago I tried this Branston spread that British people apparently like. I didn't care for it. It was way too tangy and root vegetal for my taste. 

On the Interwebs I read that people recommended using the spread on cheese sandwiches. I tried that concoction, and it wasn't good. 

When I think of a sandwich, I usually associate that lunch staple with some kind of deli meat, not just cheese. Yes, I know how American that statement sounds. 

Lately I experimented with cheese sandwiches to good effect. Pick your favorite slices of cheese (I've tried Muenster and Havarti so far) and make a sandwich. However, the way I like it is to use sriracha mayo of some variety on both pieces of bread. It pairs well with the cheese and bread as a solid condiment.