Musing of the Moment: SEC Expansion?

Yesterday less than an hour before Texas A&M Coach Jimbo Fisher gave his opening statement at SEC Media Days, news broke that allegedly the University of Texas and the University of Oklahoma had contacted the SEC about joining the conference. 

A&M obviously wants to remain the only Texas school in the SEC, which its athletic director clearly stated when interviewed by Paul Finebaum. 

However, going by the bylaws of the conference, there need to be 11 of the 14 schools who vote yes to new members. I think that's quite possible. 

I don't see the SEC turning this down because it would make them an even stronger conference, one that would rake in lots more cash and basically rule the college football world in a sport trending toward a 12-team playoff. 

Going to 16 teams might help with scheduling because one could eliminate the East-West conferences and use four-team mini conferences that would let teams play each more often that they normally don't get to. 

If you break it down by regions, here's a rough grouping of these mini conferences to my mind.

A) Texas, Oklahoma, A&M, and LSU

B) Alabama, Auburn, Ole Miss, and State

C) Arkansas, Mizzou, Kentucky, and Vanderbilt

D) Florida, Georgia, South Carolina, and Tennessee

With these groupings, the natural old East-West every year rivalry games could be kept. Alabama would always play Tennessee, and Auburn would always play Georgia, for two prime examples. 

Random Notes from a Crank

 Saturday Night Live did a good skit on the stupidity of the holiday ads that have some significant other giving the other a car for Xmas. I've never gotten those commercials, especially that GM one that has a dude giving his wife and himself two new vehicles. 

Only rich white people would think that buying a car for Xmas is an attainable goal. 

If Coach Monken (Army) or Coach Niumatalolo (Navy) don't get one of these coaching jobs out there, ADs have no guts. Think of how excellent athletes at big time D1 program could do the triple option (think Nebraska of old) and update it with some passing wrinkles.

In the era of more dual-threat QBs, it just makes sense. They could take those offenses, adopt a more balanced approach of running and passing with really good athletes, and give some teams some serious problems.

Maybe the Vanderbilt AD has the guts and brains to hire either Niumatalolo or Monken.

I was surprised Gus Malzahn got canned by Auburn. However, his 21 million dollar buyout will be him comfortable.

Illinois finally got around to firing Lovie Smith. It's kind of hard to retain a coach who has never had a winning season.

The U of Illinois is a shambles of a Big 10 program. I read in The Athletic today that in their last signing class only three of their commits were in-state recruits.

Sunday Hangover: Bye Week

 Well, Clemson lost to Notre Damn, but I suspect when the committee puts out its rankings, Clemson will still be in the top four. I don't know if Trevor Lawrence would have helped them win against the Irish, but the committee won't penalize them. 

Florida looks pretty damn good. Kyle Trask destroyed that Georgia defense. 

Texas A&M is quietly showing themselves to be a solid team. Mond is one heck of a QB. 

Indiana beating Michigan shouldn't come as that much of a surprise. Michigan lost to a moribund Michigan State last week. And the Hoosiers have beat some good teams over the years. Let's hope they can same thing against the Luckeyes. 

Speaking of Michigan State, Iowa took them behind the woodshed yesterday.

And the Cyclones of Iowa State held on against Baylor. I don't know how I feel about those black jerseys. 

Musings of the Moment: College Football This Saturday

Don't look now, but Mississippi State's Costello just threw another touchdown against LSU. 

Ole Miss got waxed by Florida. The Rebels will have a tough offense, but the only times Ole Miss is formidable is when they have a defense to be reckoned with. It's small sample size theatre, but that game can't provide much confidence in the Ole Miss defense. Kyle Trask lit up that defense like a Xmas tree. 

The light blue jerseys and helmets for Ole Miss are not are handsome as the dark blue jerseys and helmets they've used. 

With the K State-Oklahoma and Texas-Texas Tech games in mind, defense is optional in the Big 12. 

If there is a truism in the college football it is that Big 12 teams have sucky defenses. 

Kentucky totally messed up a chance to beat Auburn. I was counting on you Wildcats. So disappointing. The refs also screwed them on that play on the goalline. 

And btw, Gus Malzahn looked like a doofus in that outfit inspired by Pat Dye. 

I was surprised to find out that Army was ranked, and then they lost to Cincinnati, a team that is also ranked. 

The U is back. They stomped a mudhole in FSU's ass. I think Miami might have a good chance at beating Clemson this season. 

Florida State was stupid in pissing off Jimbo Fisher, which made him take a job at A&M. 

Pitt's concrete grey uniforms and helmets are interesting. 

I'm hoping that Iowa State wins the Big 12. I'm a closet Cyclones fan from way back. 

Random Notes from a Crank

I heard something the other day that flannel shirts are coming back in style. Finally after toting around those shirts from Kirksville, MO to Tuscaloosa, AL to St. Louis, MO and finally to Charleston, IL I'm ready to unleash them on the fashion scene. 

Well, to be truthful, I've been wearing them from time to time all these years. I just didn't really care what people think. 

My daughter went up to watch the Purdue-Illinois game on Saturday. Since she's been indoctrinated correctly, she cheered against the Illini. Of the Big Ten teams out there, that would be probably the last team I'd root for. 

When I go to a store of some sort, when I ask for something, and the clerk/worker calls me "boss" it bothers me. If I go to one of local grocery stores and ask for something from meat counter, the clerk might call me "boss." I don't like it. The guy (usually a guy) says something like "Sure thing, boss" or "Right away, boss." I don't get the reasoning behind calling me "boss." All I am asking for is some meat from you. I don't need you bringing up a word choice that denotes some kind of out-of-whack power differential. 

It kind of reminds me of Marcie calling Peppermint Patty "sir" in the Peanuts comic strip. 

Random Notes from a Crank

I wish the current President of the United States would be held to the same standard as Jim McElwain, the former U of Florida head coach. McElwain fabricated some story, and he got canned because of it. Moscow Don needs to be held to the same standard. 

So there's going to be all kinds of speculation about who will become the next head coach of the Gators. Here's an early speculative article: "Florida Coaching Candidates: 11 Coaches Who Could Take Over for Jim McElwain."

The attack in New York today sickens me. I'm sure MoscowDon will use this attack as an opportunity to stir up hokum against Muslims. And probably his travel ban crap.

Random Notes from a Crank

Chile is investing in alternative energy, building a smarter grid, and using a carbon tax, all to be sustainable but also to have an economy that grows in a smart way. Check out "Solar Power Lights the Way to a Cleaner Economy in Chile" if you're intrigued. 

Over at The Atlantic, Sarah Boxer published a detailed and interesting article about Peanuts: "The Exemplary Narcissism of Snoopy." I'm not a hater of Snoopy like some critics, but for me Charlie Brown was the best character of that strip even though I started reading the comic during the heyday of Snoopy. I also always checked out Peanuts books from the library that had the older strips from the 50s and 60s. 

I'm surprised about Coach Spurrier's immediate retirement. I agree with Ryan Nanni's sentiment from the EDSBS thread that "if he's leaving, I'm gonna miss the gel out of Steve Spurrier. Were not getting another one, and I suspect he knows that." The search of South Carolina head coach job will be a high-profile one, and it'll be a search that will probably make some current coaches get pay raises. 

After watching a bunch of MLB games over the past couple of weeks, I'm really tired of all of these pecker-pill commercials. 

Random Notes from a Crank

Today is my birthday. I think I was in my late 20s when my attitude toward birthdays changed. People like to celebrate 'em, but when it comes down to it, it's just another day closer to death. I'll take and appreciate the presents and kind notes from friends though. I'm not that dark. 

My birthday presents were a couple of new wristwatches. Over the holidays I lost my trusty brown-leather-band Peugeot watch that I've probably had for at least a decade. I've replaced a few batteries and bands over the years. I got one watch with Roman numerals that's a bit dressier, and I got another with numbers that's more casual.

I've heard people say that watches are no longer being worn as much because people look at the time via their smartphones. I think there's a bit of bunk to that notion because often people ask me what time it is because they see I have a wristwatch on.  

The national championship game is tonight. Of course, I'm sore that the Crimson Tide squad is not in it. I'll be rooting for Oregon. Ohio State is a hot team though. Their big plays and the injuries Alabama players sustained in the second half did the Tide in.  

The good guys got revenge in the Iron Bowl and then won the SEC Championship, so there's a bit of solace in those happenings.

Random Notes from a Crank

Since the US normalized relations with Cuba this week, I'm contemplating going back to smoking cigars, so I can get my hands on some Cuban stogies. Regardless, The American Conservative has a detailed article about the President's smart decision: "Obama's Cuba Opportunity." 

If you like visuals, check out "100 Diagrams That Changed the World" via Brain Pickings.

How can anyone deny the wondrousness that was/is Ginger Spice/Geri Halliwell? You know you can't. 

Bowl games start tomorrow. Thank the Gods. 

Random Notes from a Crank

I picked up the well received Sex Criminals the other day. It's an interesting, freaky story so far. The problem is this: Where do you store a R-rated comic book volume (vol. 1 collects issues 1-5) when you have kids? I just can't put it in the stack of comic volumes I have downstairs, which include various old and new versions of Daredevil, Fraction's Hawkeye, Gaiman's The Sandman, Fraction's The Immortal Iron Fist, Neurocomic, and Wood's Star Wars series. I found a hiding spot for the volume though, so it's all good. For a sound review of the series, check out Laura Hudson's "The Man Behind the Comic Book That Finally Got Sex Right" on WIRED. 

And now I'm thinking of checking out The Wicked + The Divine. 12 mythological gods come back every 90 years to inhabit the bodies of humans and then die in 2 years? I might be in. 

The Heisman ceremony is this Saturday. I hope Cooper wins and ends the tyranny of QBs winning the award, but I'm sure Mariota will take home the trophy. 

In the Monday Night Football game, here are the stats from Julio Jones's night: 11 receptions for 259 yards. Roll Tide. 

The MLB winter meetings are being held right now, and a great deal of attention is on which team Jon Lester will sign with. Apparently it's down to the Red Sox and the Cubs. Regardless of whether they sign Lester, the Cubs made some good moves by resigning Jason Hammel and trading for Miguel Montero, a much-need left-handed bat in the lineup. 

Random Notes from a Crank

I try to depend on a Big 10 team to win in that conference's championship game because I don't want Auburn in the BCS Championship, and all I get is disappointment. Thanks Buckeyes. You're a typical Urban Meyer team--good offense with an at-time shaky defense. I have always kind of liked Michigan State though, and they were playing well at the end of the season, so there's a lot of bitter in that bittersweet because Alabama should have won that Iron Bowl. Regardless, the Tide will be in New Orleans to play Oklahoma in the Sugar Bowl on January 2nd. 

If there is a team like Alabama though, it's Florida State. Jimbo Fisher used to run Saban's offense when he was the head coach at LSU. When Saban took the job at Alabama, there was rampant speculation that Fisher would become the offensive coordinator at the Capstone, but he kept where he was (FSU, I believe) and then got the head job there after Bowden got forced out. 

Random Notes from a Crank

It's come to that time of the year when I'm so desperate for college football that I'm watching a NFL preseason game. I feel so pathetic. 

On Tuesday, the OED Online Word of the Day was "monkey parade." It's a noun, and here's the definition: "An evening promenade of young people, esp. for the purpose of meeting members of the opposite sex." Because I've lived in college towns for good portion of my life ~ Kirksville, MO; Tuscaloosa, AL; and Charleston, IL ~ I recognize these parades. Monkey parades are especially prominent in small towns when college kids travel on foot to a keg parties. I've observed many of them. 

I've been making pickles close to every day since my pickling cucumbers have been producing, which is three weeks or so now. I've been experimenting with different ratios of types of vinegar (hint: go heavy on the cider vinegar and light on the white vinegar) and experimenting with hot peppers in the mix. I did one jar with a serrano pepper and a couple others with jalapenos. Mrs. Nasty tried the serrano-infused pickles the other day. She hung in there, but she said they were pretty hot. I tried them too. They're hot, but serranos impart wicked good flavor. I've also thought about making a jar with three peppers marinating the cucumbers ~ a serrano, a jalapeno, and cayenne. I think I'll call it my "walk into a bar..." recipe. You see, a serrano, a jalapeno, and a cayenne walk into a bar, and... [you fill in the blank]. 

In October, we head up to Iowa to see my parents for their celebration of their 65th wedding anniversary. I hope Mrs. Nasty and I stick around long enough to have a 65th wedding anniversary. 

While I enjoyed The Wolverine movie, reading the comic books series from 1982 was quite a treat. I was somewhat right on what they kept from the comic book for the movie. Regardless, I'm a bit of purist, so I prefer the original comic book storyline, especially because it brings in the rest of the X-Men at the end (for a wedding that goes wrong). With all that said though, the movie reinterprets the Logan/Wolverine character in a thoughtful way. 

After reading the full series of The Northlanders by Brian Wood, I got into his most recent work, The Massive. It's good. I'm looking forward to the second volume. 

Random Notes from a Crank

I'm tired of Iron Chef America still trotting out their tired-ass fake chairman. Just turn over those duties to Alton Brown, Food Network. I watched Sunday's episode, which was "Battle Scotch," and the "chairman" is just dead weight on the show, a silly ruse that never should have been enacted. With that episode in mind though, I can't imagine trying to make food with Scotch. Tough draw.

I got the video below from one of FB friends, but it's clear this instructor has a strict policy about texting in his class.



The big question that is asked, however, is this one: "What do human beings possess in their natural state?"


Hank Hill has the right attitude about the New Year. 

As usual, Mark Schlabach of ESPN had up his Way Too Early Top 25 days ago. But I highly doubt Alabama will end up numero uno at the end of next season like most prognosticators ape. With Ohio State's weak schedule, I see them making it to the BCS Championship Game where they will meet either Stanford or someone a little further off the top five pre-season radar like Florida State (who benefits from playing in the ACC) or Texas. 

Clowney Hit

I missed this hit in real time because the kids and I went sledding, but here's a video of Clowney's hit on the Michigan running back in the Outback Bowl today.

Watch below. He forces a fumble and recovers it. 





Jadeveon Clowney is one of the biggest recruits I wish Alabama would have signed out of high school. It was between the Tide and the Gamecocks, and Mr. Clowney chose his home state school over Alabama. 

New SEC Coaches

Besides maybe a preview of interesting bowl games this season, I won't be writing about football until January 8, so I thought I'd share my so-called thoughts on the recent head coach hires in the SEC, the best football conference in all of the land.

Mark Stoops, University of Kentucky
Hopes are high in Lexington, and I see this as a good hire. The guy knows defense, which tends to be a perennial issue with the Wildcats on the gridiron. He will not have the talent he had the luxury of having at Florida State, so it may take some time to get the program back to being bowl eligible like it was under Rich Brooks. Stoops' goal of winning the SEC (see link) is what any new coach is going to say, but the stark reality is that the only fellow to lead Kentucky to win the SEC conference was Coach Paul Bryant before he went to Texas A&M. Good luck with that. 

Bret Bielema, University of Arkansas
This hire came as a surprise to a number of folks because Bielema already had a good job at a solid university and great place to live (Madison is wonderful). But this former assistant under Hayden Fry at Iowa and a guy many people thought would stay at Wisconsin heads to Fayetteville. The Razorbacks have talent and a solid recruiting base in the South and Texas, so it'll be interesting how well this team does next year. Wisconsin teams are typically noted for their smashmouth running attacks and strong defenses. However, there could be a substantial adjustment period because they'll be transitioning from Petrino's pass-happy/"oley bullshit" defensive teams to something altogether different. 

Gus Malzahn, Auburn University
There were all kinds of coaching rumors about this job after Chizik got the pink slip. Malzahn was the engineer of their offense when they had Cam Newton, and he did a good job as a head coach at Arkansas State, a program that seems to have becoming a training ground for big-time jobs. The cloud over this hire is the NCAA has been asking questions down on the plains, so it remains to be seen what kind of allotment of scholarships this head coach will get to play with. I think Auburn will skate, but we'll see. However, it's not like Auburn has a weak base of talent to build a strong team. They recruit well. However, after they rode the comet that was Cam Newton, the last two seasons exposed what Iowa State fans already knew about Gene Chizik. 

With both Bielema and Malzahn though, they have to compete in the best college football division in the country, the SEC West. Now with Ole Miss on the rise under the leadership of Hugh Freeze (Watch for them next season) and A&M doing well under Kevin Sumlin, the West is going to be even more difficult.

The Bleacher Report has an article up comparing Bielema and Malzahn that's worth a read.  

Coach-to-be-Named-Later, University of Tennessee
This one is taking longer than I expected. First, it was delusions of luring Gruden away from his lucrative and easy job with MNF. Then it was someone else, maybe Chris Peterson or Gary Patterson? Some P dude I think. Or maybe that was the Arkansas hiring cycle -- I don't remember. Then it was Mike Gundy from Oklahoma State, who decided to stay at his alma mater and do the breaststroke in a swimming pool of cash proffered by crazy-rich T. Boone Pickens. Then it was Charlie Strong (probably the best hire out of the whole bunch), but now he's decided to stay at Louisville. And now the rumors are that Butch Davis, Larry Fedora, and Al Golden are possibilities. 

SEC D-Linemen

The recent AP article "SEC Dominating NFL on Defensive Line" is an interesting read for college football fans. At least if you go by the outcomes last Saturday in College Station and Columbia, Florida and Georgia's defenses took over in the fourth quarter.

But an article like this makes me think this is a harbinger of a non-SEC team winning the national championship this year. I'm superstitious like that.

Thoughts on Opening Week in College Football

I've already gone over the Michigan-Alabama game, but here are some other thoughts on this week in college football. 

The venerable writer for the Tuscaloosa News, Cecil Hurt (@CecilHurt) put it well with this funny tweet on Saturday afternoon: "Saying the SEC East looks 'winnable' is like saying a Kardashian at an NBA game looks 'available.' #WideOpen"

Tennessee looked impressive against NC State because QB Bray is talented as hell, and the Volunteers have big receivers to throw to. With South Carolina and Georgia and Florida struggling in their opening games against Vanderbilt, Buffalo, and Bowling Green respectively, if Tennessee is relatively injury-free, they could really compete in the East considering how lackluster the other three contenders looked. Heck, Vandy looked solid too. 

If I were a betting man and I had loose money to throw around, I'd place bets on Mizzou and A&M to win on Saturday. Georgia (-3 spread to UGA) travels to Columbia, and Florida (-2.5 for FL) visits College Station.

I suspect LeVeon Bell, the running back at Michigan State, will be in the Heisman conversation.   

We watched the Iowa game yesterday afternoon. The big game versus the Cyclones is their next game. I think Iowa State wins that one, and it's in Iowa City. 

Random Notes from a Crank

What you see above is the little project we finally got around to. After I painted our bedroom on Sunday morning, in the afternoon Mrs. Nasty went to Ace to get hardware for this project, and then I got to use my powerful drill. What you see is the back corner area of our house right where the back door is located. When we bought the house, It had lattice there, but a big wind came and blew that cheap crap down months ago. Because we had gotten new shutters earlier this summer, Mrs. Nasty had the smart idea of doing something different. We had contemplated buying some different lattice and installing it. Instead we reused the old shutters, she spray painted 'em, and then we finally installed them once the weather got cooler and after I had painted the trim this summer. The shutter configuration provides some privacy and color. Cheers to "repurposing" (as the home improvement shows say) and to Mrs. Nasty for her excellent idea.

For a couple of years now, the house across the street from us -- a three-bedroom, one and a half bath ranch --- has been where some college students (a couple) have lived because when the owner couldn't the sell the house for what he wanted (presumably). He rented it to his relatives (the college students) to apparently skirt around the zoning ordinance for our street being only single family dwellings. We got a little excited once the college kids, who were decent neighbors, graduated and the house went back on the market. The house sold pretty quickly because the owner priced it right (finally), and the new owners had scores of workers doing all kinds of work on the house. But we kept wondering when they were going to move in. Then last night the couple were over there, and the guy was pounding a post into the front yard. The sign on the post says, "For Rent. Call xxx-xxxx." @#$%. Here we go again. I wish they'd just try to sell the damn thing.

I'm looking forward to Ryan Bingham's new album, which will be released on his own label in September.

Jay Heinrichs has sound analysis of Ann Coulter's embrace of Paul Ryan on Figures of Speech Served Fresh.

We're no longer close to a Costco, but this article about the company explains some of the reasons why I'd still be a member if we lived in St. Louis.

One of the leading stories in college football this week was Tyrann "Honey Badger" Mathieu getting kicked off the LSU for what appears to be substance abuse issues. One of my friends asked me what I thought of this, and here's what I wrote: "Mathieu will hurt LSU initially on special teams and run support, but their redshirt freshman and true freshman corners behind him on the depth chart are probably better in coverage than Mathieu (he is overrated as a CB as Kevin Norwood and others exposed in the National Championship game). Short term it'll hurt LSU, but they should be fine by the time they go to Auburn in late September. Their game vs. the U of Washington could be interesting, but they're playing them in Baton Rouge, so I wouldn't pick that as an upset unless their highly touted QB isn't as good as everyone says. They also got a QB who transferred from Penn State, but that's not a big steal as far as I saw when we played the Lions the last two years." That's me quoting me! Overall, LSU is still loaded. 

Random Notes from a Crank

I judge books by their covers. Literally. We all do it. If a book has an interesting cover, we're enticed. Admit it. So let's stop using that damn cliche.

I recently read one of the best arguments against the "whole-language approach" to reading and "the adoption of an unhealthy compromise called 'mixed' or 'balanced reading' instruction" (221). It's Chapter 5--Learning to Read" in Reading in the Brain: The Science and Evolution of a Human Invention by Stanislas Dehaene. If you have young children or care about the literacy of young children, I highly recommend the chapter, if not the whole book.

This weekend, we got to watching the Back to the Future trilogy. As movie trilogies go, it's not a very good one. But my daughter found it funny and hopeful that in Part 2, which is set in 2015, the Cubs win the World Series.

One of the few reality TV shows that I watch is Food Network Star. I'm rooting for Team Alton, particularly Justin and Emily, to beat Teams Bobby and Giada. If there's someone from a different team I'd like to see win, it's Malcolm from Team Bobby. The dark part of this whole televised exercise in stress is that from what I recall of past "stars" who won the competition, besides the ubiquitous Guy Fieri, their shows don't seem to have the highest profile slots. Then again, I didn't watch the last two seasons because I got bored with the program.

With all this talk about finally implementing a playoff system for college football, I propose a system not discussed yet. It's not the current BCS system. It's not a final four of best four teams based on BCS standings and/or a selection committee. It's not a plus one system. It's not a system that rewards teams that won their conference while showing off a record sporting two or three losses. I propose the top four teams  in the SEC play the best four teams outside the SEC in a eight-round, seeded playoff.

Random Notes from a Crank

Today marks 100 days until the start of college football season.

For the past couple of days, I've been binging on watching the first season of Game of Thrones. I recently started watching episodes of the second season on Sunday nights. After being frustrated and having a fit of cursing at HBO's website because of their overly complicated process of being able to watch past episodes online, I finally started watching the first season via my laptop last night. I'm really enjoying the show, which is a surprise because I'm not really much of fantasy/otherly-world fiction kind of guy. In fact, the last time I think I read a fantasy novel was when I was back in junior high school -- that was Tolkien's Return of the King, the final book in the Lord of the Rings trilogy. To give you an idea of the episode-watching binge I've been on, today is Tuesday. Like I said, I started watching the first season last night. This afternoon I finished episode 7. And now I've gone and ordered the first book because, as far as I can tell so far from the HBO series and what I quickly learned about the books on the Web, the story doesn't sound like it has any of goofy pathos and bathos of fantasy fiction.

I do have a complaint about the Game of Thrones series and other films of the fantasy variety though. Why do the characters in these films almost always have British accents? Why? What up with that?

As much as I agree with argument made in May's "Science Agenda" editorial in Scientific American, I'm not optimistic about smart, substantive changes to the farm bill. I hope I'm wrong.

Although it's not a humorous article, reading "The Science of Health" piece in the same issue reminded me of the sound advice my Uncle Raymond told me before I went to college: "Avoid the clap."