Random Notes from a Crank

Dana Milbank has a really good opinion piece in The Washington Post: "McCarthy Won the 15th Vote to be Speaker--But Lost the House for All." 

Here are three ¶s of note that should make anyone shudder:

"This is insurrection by other means: Two years to the day since the Jan. 6 invasion of the Capitol, Republicans are still attacking the functioning of government. McCarthy opened the door to chaos by excusing Donald Trump's fomenting of the attack and welcoming a new class of election deniers to his caucus. Now he's trying to save his own political ambitions by agreeing to institutionalize the chaos--not just for the next two years but for future congresses as well. 

On Thursday, the day McCarthy failed on an 11th consecutive ballot to secure the speakership, he formally surrendered to the 21 GOP extremists denying him the job. He agree dot allow any member of the House to force a vote at will to 'vacate' his speakership--essentially agreeing to be in permanent jeopardy of losing his job. He agreed to put the rebels on the Rules Committee, giving them sway over what gets a vote on the House floor, and in key committee leadership posts. He agreed to unlimited amendments to spending bills, inviting two years of mayhem. He agreed to other changes that make future government shutdowns and a default on the national debt more likely, if not probable.

Perhaps worst of all, the McCarthy-alingned super PAC, the Conservative Leadership Fun, agreed that it would no longer work against fair-right extremists in the vast majority of Republican primaries--a move sure to increase the number of bomb throwers in Congress. Essentially, McCarthy placated the crazy in his caucus by giving up every tool he (or anybody) had to maintain order in the House." 

I'm not a betting man, but I'd guess that a shutdown of government is in our future over the next two years of the GOP's control of the House. 

Republicans' typical bromide is that "government doesn't work." When they get control, they usually show that government doesn't work - because of them being in control of government, not because of government itself. 

What is the deal with the price of eggs being so high lately? Are the corporate egg farms trying to screw us now too? 

Apparently, one of the reasons (see link above) is an avian flu along with higher feed prices and energy costs. 

I'm neither a vegetarian nor a vegan, but a darkly humorous joke I heard from a vegan comedian is how he described eggs as "chicken abortions." For all those pro-lifers out there, they better stop eating eggs. 

I'm thinking about creating a school of philosophical thought that combines hedonism, utilitarianism, and Taoist and Buddhist principles. In a sense, it might reflect a more wide-view version of Dudeism, which follows the example of Jeffrey Lebowski.

Stay Positive: Parks & Recreation

I finished watching all of the episodes of Parks & Recreation last night. 

It was an outstanding series. I don't know why I didn't watch when it was actually on TV, but Netflix bailed me out. 

Nick Offerman is the man (read his books, btw), and he got the opportunity of a lifetime to play Ron Swanson, who is a character I agree with on some matters (related to manhood) and not many others (government, vegetables, etc.). 

Unfortunately, I suspect there are some folks who literally (as Chris is fond of saying) take the character as he is. Satire is wasted on dumbasses.

And oh, Leslie Knope, as I've stated before, oh how I have a crush on you. 

Random Notes from a Crank

In general, I avoid public restrooms whenever possible. However, if you have to squat down and do your business, I have one place to recommend if you ever find yourself there. This past weekend, my daughter had a dance competition at the Scottish Rite in St. Louis. It's an old building with old fashioned bathrooms. Even though it's a hard seat, the toilet seats in those restrooms are comfortable. They are molded to fit one's butt nicely.

Sorry to get semi-scattalogical on you.

This post on VerySmartBrothers.com is worth a read: "The National Park Service Guy's Face When Getting That Bullshit Check from Trump Is The Blackest Thing That Ever Happened This Week." 

Check out this article about the show that will come out later this month: "One of the Best Trump Impersonators Is Getting His Own Late-Night Comedy Show." 

Random Notes from a Crank

While I side with the folks who think the Washington D.C. national football league team should change its stupid mascot (a more appropriate mascot would be "Lobbyists," "Super PACs, "Corporate Shills," or "Dark Money"), I also tend to agree with Jerry Seinfeld's recent comments on the Collin Cowherd show. Strangely enough, I saw a number of solid comedians ~ Seinfeld, Rock, and George Wallace ~ on my college campus when I was an undergrad. But that was back in the early 90s. 

Monday's post on Bleed Cubbie Blue is a fair evaluation of the Cubs after a third of the season in the books. With Javier Baez now on the DL because of dumb face-first slides, we certainly aren't going to see him anytime soon, so there's been some wild speculation that they might bring up Kyle Schwarber, who is raking at AA right now, to play DH when they play interleague games. I doubt that happens though. 

This has to be one of the best headlines I've seen in a while. It's about an "amphibious" pitcher. I bet he likes water.

Stay Positive: Vernon Franklin

I have a meeting next week, and I'm a little worried that I might it "keep it real" a little too much. 

In honor of that worry, I offer the Vernon Franklin skit from Chappelle's Show. 

Here's to "When Keeping It Real Goes Wrong." 

Stay Positive: Decent Stand-Up

I'm not a huge fan of Louis C.K., but I liked his opening monologue when he hosted Saturday Night Live. Usually the opening monologues of SNL aren't that good, but this one is. 

For me, here are the highlights:

• I don't have real hunger. I have first-world hunger.
• I do think men are worse than women. 
• 21 and you're a lock for heaven already? 
• "I don't know who's telling people that."
• That's a weird thing that you think you can know.
• Where's our mother? What happened to our mom? What did he do to our mom?
• God's a single dad. 
• This is our weekend with dad. 
• And for some reason this is offensive to nobody?

George Carlin on "Stuff"

I received an email today from a co-worker who told me she had some "stuff" to give me when we meet next week.  

Stuff is a much more interesting word after you've viewed the classic bit by George Carlin. 

So I thought I'd share. 

Seinfeld's New Show: Comedians In Cars Getting Coffee

Since I've been sharing comedy here lately, I thought I'd pass along Seinfeld's new show that I read about in Rolling Stone. He's only up to four episodes so far, but they're some good stuff. My favorite episode so far is the one with Brian Regan. 

Most episodes also have four outtakes that are worth viewing.

Here's the link:

• http://www.comediansincarsgettingcoffee.com/

Who's On First?

As I was prepping our bedroom for painting a couple of weeks ago, I caught the back end of a special on MLB Network that had Bob Costas and Jerry Seinfeld examining the brilliance of Abbott & Costello's "Who's on First?" bit. 

Below you'll find the routine. The video's visual and audio components don't match up exactly, but I thought I'd share. It's one of my favorite skits. 

"What are you askin' me for?" 

George Carlin on Baseball and Football

I don't why this floated into my consciousness today, but I was remembering back to a meeting months ago (January if I remember right). The three of us who were there early did some typical small talk, and the topic of sports came up, One person derided the value of football for American culture, and I mentioned the famous routine by George Carlin about the differences between baseball and football.

The other two people had neither seen nor heard of Carlin's routine. I was surprised by that, but then again, George Carlin is one my favorite comedians.

So today, if you're so inclined, enjoy Carlin's explication of the two sports and what they might say about America.