Random Notes from a Crank

I read an article in Mother Jones about Rep. Maxwell Frost: "Why Maxwell Frost Wants Democrats to 'Get Caught Fighting.'"

Later that day he was on The Late Show with Stephen Colbert. He's sharp as hell. 

When he turns 30, he needs to run for the U.S. Senate to kick out one of the GOP douche bags in Florida--hopefully that penis-look-alike Rick Scott. 

Lately I've become irritable about the drivers where I live. They drive so damn slowly. 

So this past weekend I was in Muncie, Indiana for a baseball tournament, and the drivers around there might be even morse. 

People were driving so slow, especially around corners. It's like I was in the Deep South again with all these slow-ass drivers. 

What's the deal with people calling sports stars/personalities by their first names? My in-laws do this with professional golfers they follow. Or most notably they use when they talk about Caitlin Clark. They call her "Caitlin" in casual conversation. 

I just find that weird because using the first name connotes a personal connection. 

Well, the U.S. under President Adolf is back to bombing brown people because of "weapons of mass destruction." 

We've seen that move before. The president's poll numbers are in the crapper, so the administration gets into some kind of military intervention based on shoddy intelligence. 

There are some consequences here. First, Congress is the only entity that can wage war, not the Executive Branch. Moscow Don has basically involved us in a war because he's just doing what Israel wants. 

Second, one can assume Iran is going to react in various ways, whether it's related to the Strait of Hormuz or sleeper cells inside the U.S. doing terrorist activities.

The Trump administration is making America poor and making American less safe again. 

Sunday Hangover: Florida

As has become a disturbing trend, a game against the Florida Gators proved to be a close one and one in which the defense didn't play well. 

That doesn't bode well for the championship aspirations of the Crimson Tide. 

The defense has to get better, especially thinking of the Kiffin-run Rebels of Ole Miss. Hell, you gotta watch out for Arkansas too. 

The offense started well, but those three straight three-and-outs were brutal. Those cannot happen. The Tide must run the ball more effectively. 

Billingsley appears to be out of Saban's doghouse, which is one of the good signs in this game. 

Regardless, Young went into the much heralded Swamp and came out with a win. 

And the Georgia-Florida game looks to be a very interesting matchup. 

Sunday Hangover: Florida

 SEC Champs. 

The defensive performance form the Crimson Tide was not what I would have hoped for. They just gave up so many explosive plays, especially in the second half. The pass defense was lacking. But the Tide did well against the run though Florida has not traditionally been a running-oriented offense. 

Harris put on an absolute show - 5 TDs: 3 receiving, 2 running. 

Smitty had another great performance - 15 receptions for 184 yards and two touchdowns. 

Next up is a match against the Fighting Irish. Let's hope the Tide is ready for a running QB. I suspect they'll learn from what Clemson did to them in the ACC Championship. 

But Notre Dame has the advantage in that few, if any, people will pick the Irish to defeat Alabama. They'll be motivated by how they are the underdogs. 

Sunday Hangover: Florida--SEC Championship

54 to 16 is a lopsided score. 

We got back from my son's basketball game to watch the start of the second quarter, so I didn't watch the first quarter until after the game was over. Florida had a good first drive. After that, not so much. 

It was another dominant game from the Alabama defense:

• 4 sacks
• 3 interceptions, one of which was a pick-6 by Fitzpatrick
• 9 tackles for loss
• Florida gained 0 net yards rushing--gained 51 but lost 51

A large loss in the game was the injury of staring LB Shaun Dion Hamilton, who will be out apparently for the rest of season. I assume Rashaan Evans will take over his spot, so he needs to get ready. There was a bust in coverage by Evans (or possibly Foster, though I doubt it) that resulted in a Florida pass TD in second quarter that will be a teaching moment. 

Next up is Washington in a revisit to the Georgia Dome on New Year's Eve day. 

Random Notes from a Crank

We spent a week in Orlando for a national dance competition my daughter's squad was competing in. One we went to Typhoon Lagoon. One phenomenon I noticed there and at the local swimming pool this summer is that some men wear underwear under their swim trunks. I don't understand. Men's swim trunks have liners in them. What's the point? Are some guys ball sacs so sensitive that they have to wear underwear to swim? 

On a positive note, going to a massive waterpark like that one can make a person feel better about their body image. 

The GOP Convention starts today. I expect it to be ridiculous. 

Speaking of ridiculous, this short article, "Republican Platform Declares Coal is Clean," should have been put out by The Onion, not Grist. You could accuse the RNC of plagiarism. 

My family and friends of our family have recently gotten into geocaching. I enjoy it. It gets me outside and walking and exploring places. 

Sunday Hangover: Florida--SEC Championship

Besides the return for a touchdown and the long pass play late in the fourth quarter, Alabama dominated this game. 

Two stats show that clearly:

• First downs: Florida, 7; Alabama, 25
• Time of Possession: Florida, 16:31; Alabama, 43:29

I've watched some games when time of possession was clearly in Alabama's favor, but this SEC Championship was an extreme case. 

It was good to see Kenyan Drake back in action, so I'm hopeful he'll be fully ready to go against Michigan State in the playoffs. 

The past couple of games I've gotten frustrated with the offensive playing because I'm tired of bubble screens and the prevalence of short passes, I'd like to see Henry run outside the tackles more often, O.J. Howard needs to be targeted more often, and I wanted to see more downfield passing to open up the running game even more. 

Complaints, complaints, complaints...

The good news is that Alabama won its 25th SEC Championship. Roll Tide Roll. 

Sunday Hangover: Florida

This game would have been a shutout if the Tide didn't commit stupid turnovers. The longest drive Florida had yesterday was for 31 yards. 

I got what I wanted: Blake Sims throwing the ball down the field. And he did a great job. 

He had two really bad snafus though. 

In other news, Amari Cooper has put himself in the Heisman conversation. 

Yesterday afternoon he amassed 201 yards on 10 receptions and 3 touchdowns. One of the big mini-battles within the game was Cooper against Hargreaves, who could be the best cornerback in college football. Coach Kiffin strategically moved around Cooper during the game, but for the most part, Cooper won most of the battles against Hargreaves. 

Given a short field in the first half, the Tide defense played well. 

Tony Brown, a true freshman, started at corner and looked quite good. They brought him off the edge at least a couple of times on corner blitzes. 

On the D-line, Jarran Reed's name was called out often by the announcers. The D held Florida to 107 net yards rushing. 

Yeldon had sort of an off game, but I was surprised when Yeldon worked out of the wildcat. Those plays brought back memories from Ingram's stellar performance against South Carolina in '09.  

Through the first part of the game, one of my refrains was, "Where's Henry?" We got a steady dose of 27 in the second half though. Overall, he gained 112 yards on 20 carries. As much as I really like Yeldon, Henry is a beast that they don't use enough. 

For some gaudy stats, check out Blake Sims: 23 completions on 33 attempts, 445 yards, 4 touchdowns, 1 interception. 

I would imagine that in the bye week two matters will be emphasized: ensuring ball security and avoiding stupid penalties. Those two matters kept Florida in the game when they shouldn't have been. 

Random Notes from a Crank

Having spent three subsequent days at Aquatica, Discovery Cove, and Sea World this past week, I have some observations and reflections to share:

• I'm done with water parks for a very long while. 
• If you want to see some really horrible tattoos, a water park is the place to go. 
• To hear British accents outside of Great Britain, the place to visit is Discovery Cove.
• For overhearing Spanish, go to Sea World.

After observing people at water parks this summer, I wonder if Chinese or Japanese people get tattoos of aspirational or positively vague terms in English on their bodies, words like "love," "strength," "soldier," "peace," "fire," "harmony," "family," "angel," and "beauty." 

HBO's Hard Knocks started this past week. They're following the Atlanta Falcons, a team that has a couple of former Crimson Tide stars on it: WR Julio Jones and OT Mike Johnson, 

Watching that show sometimes gives me some colorful terms that I might be able to repurpose. When they followed the Jets, I remember Rex Ryan haranguing his players about how they need to play like the "New York @#$%ing Jets" and not like the other NFL "slop dick organizations." 

Just in case the Nasty family needs it, this product is available for football Saturdays.

Random Notes from a Crank

After driving from Venice, Florida to Nashville on Friday, it's clear to me that both Florida and Georgia are very long states. Call me Captain Obvious. 

On the drive through Florida and Georgia, I was surprised how many billboards there were on I-75. I've haven't driven much on major interstates on the East Coast, so I don't have a lot of exposure to them, but there were billboards everywhere -- just constant.

A particular billboard I had to suffer through was one advertising a gentleman's club somewhere in the Atlanta area with this simple message: "STRIPPERS. Need we say more?" Thank the Gods that my nine-year daughter was watching movies and reading books because I really didn't want to field the question of "Daddy, what's a stripper?" If posed with that question, I think I'll redirect it with a statement such as "Well, maybe Mommy can explain that." You've been warned, Mrs. Nasty. 

To occasionally counterbalance the stripper advertising, there were assorted religious billboards, which got me thinking...

Why not combine the two?: Pole dancing for Jesus. Read the opinion piece and watch the video. Believe!  

Then I did a simple web search with the search term "Strippers for Jesus." I found all kinds of stuff, including a documentary about the "Pussycat Preacher." 

It appears this kooky idea has already been taken. 

Another big billboard I saw a lot of over a stretch of road was advertising for a gas station named Magnolia Plantation. I suspect they don't get a ton of African-Americans customers with that name since I suspect many folks aren't interested in going to a place called a plantation. Just sayin'.

Since the presidential election is now behind us, I also wondered whether all the blank billboards I saw were from the political ads that harassed stalked blanketed Florida. I noticed a few political billboards here and there about how the sky is going to fall if Obama gets reelected, but not a ton.