Fumbling Toward Culinary Talent: Blue Cheese Dressing

This recipe is simply a small variation on the recipe in The Joy of Cooking. 

I've had a patch of garlic chives in my garden for over a decade, so I added chives, and I used white wine vinegar instead of red wine vinegar. 

Ingredients

1 cup of mayonnaise (I prefer Duke's)

1/2 cup of sour cream

1-2 tablespoons of white wine vinegar

2 tablespoons of chopped parsley

2 tablespoons of chives

Kosher salt and freshly cracked black pepper to taste

1-2 cloves of garlic, minced

4 ounces of crumbled blue cheese

Process

Whisk together everything except the blue cheese in a mixing bowl. Fold in the blue cheese and move to some manner of dressing container. 

Fumbling Toward Culinary Talent: Comeback Sauce

I got the basics of this recipe from watching either Cooks' Country or America's Test Kitchen on my local PBS station.

It's a common sauce to pair with fried fish in the Deep South. 

Ingredients

• 1/2 cup of mayo
• 1/4 cup of minced yellow or Vidalia onion
• 2 TB of avocado oil
• 2 TB of chili sauce
• 1 TB of ketchup
• 2 1/2 ts of Worcestshire sauce
• 2 1/2 ts of hot sauce (I used Alabama Sunshine)
• 1 clove of garlic, minced
• 1 ts of yellow mustard
• 1 ts of lemon juice
• 1 ts of Penzey's Justice seasoning
• 1 ts of cracked black pepper
• 1 ts of paprika

Process

It's pretty simple. Put it all into a mixing bowl and whisk. I sautéed the onion for a bit because I'm not a fan of raw onions. If I were to amp up the recipe a bit, I might put some cayenne pepper and smoked paprika into the mix. 

Random Notes from a Crank

I'm trying this concoction called oxymel. It's apparently a health that dates back to Ancient Greece, back to Hippocrates. 

At base, it is equals parts honey and equal parts apple cider vinegar. I got the recipe from this blog post I found on the InterWebs: "Herbal Oxymel Recipes & Benefits." I'm doing the one for cold and flu, so I some used dried thyme, rosemary, oregano, and ginger. 

We'll see whether if it's worth my time. At the very least it has polyphenols that create antioxidants. I wonder about the taste though. 

I'm leaving Facebook. I've already deleted my Instagram account, and I'm abandoning FB on Feb. 1. 

I'm not sure if I'm going to delete my account or just not interact with people on FB with a dim hope that the platform will reform its ways. I may just delete it, and if I rejoin FB at some time, I'll befriend the good people who are my "friends" and not befriend the President Adolf supporters I have accumulated over the years. 

Regardless, I just cannot be on a platform that has given up fact-checking/moderation because Zuckerberg is genuflecting and licking President Adolf's asshole while that autocrat, the GOP, and his oligarchic cronies further game the system for the rich and the 1%, destroy the social safety net, foment lies and disinformation, deport hard-working people, deregulate all kinds of things that should be strictly regulated, stack agencies with pro-business  lackeys, pardon the Jan. 6 insurrectionists, and spread anti-science and anti-intellectual hokum while the poor, working class, and middle class lose out. 

Yet poor, working class, and middle class dipshits voted for President Adolf. 

I just have to remind myself that 54% of Americans read below a sixth-grade level. 

I can see why my daughter is looking at graduate schools in Europe. 

One of the books I'm reading right now is biography of Napoleon, Napoleon: A Life by Andrew Roberts. I have some gaps in knowledge of European history, so it's an interesting read for me. The author's premise is that Napoleon is misunderstood for a number of reasons, one of which is because of British propaganda and Hitler being compared to Napoleon by Churchill during WWII. 

Napoleon was a brilliant military mind, and as I have found out, he was an intellectual. Here's a quotation from him that struck me as quite wonderful: "The true conquests, the only ones that cause no regret, are those made over ignorance." 

The world would be a much better place if people followed that statement. 

Fumbling Toward Culinary Talent: Slow Cooker Creamy Buffalo Chicken

I've made versions of this dish before, but I put a wrinkle into it (marinating the chicken in pickle brine) that made me like it even more. 

Ingredients

• 1 cup of pickle juice/brine
• 3 chicken breasts, sliced in half lengthways
• 1 12oz. bottle of Frank's Red Hot Wings Buffalo sauce
• 1/2 to a full block of cream cheese
• 1 TB of Penzey's Justice seasoning

Process

Cut the breasts in half lengthways, put them into a large plastic bag, and add in the pickle juice. Refrigerate for a day. 

Set your slow cooker on low and take the chicken tenderloins out, letting the pickle brine drip off it into the plastic bag, and place them into the slow cooker. I didn't pat them dry--just let them have a bit of the pickle juice into the mix. 

Dump in the Frank's sauce into the cooker. Cook for about two hours or so, and then dump in cream cheese. Adjust how much cream cheese you put in according to how hot you want it. 

About six hours in, take out the chicken and shred it after letting it rest for 15 minutes. As the chicken is resting, take a whisk to fully incorporate the cream cheese. Add the Penzey's Justice seasoning. 

Let it cook for another hour or so and put it over egg noodles, rice, mashed potatoes, or riced cauliflower.  

Random Notes from a Crank

What you see above is my dog when he and I ventured out to walk by our local lake. With all the snow we've gotten, no one has shoveled their sidewalks, so Mac and I are relegated to walking on campus because it has been plowed and shoveled. 

I'm tired of walking on campus though, so we ventured out to feel the icy wind in our faces. 

Mrs. Nasty and I were in Springfield Sunday, and we took the opportunity to dine at Darcy's Pint. That's the only place I know of around these here parts that has a muffuletta on its menu. 

It's one of best sandwiches of all time. When I'm there, I always think about getting a reuben, one of my favorites, but I can get those lots of places. 

This is the time of the year when I browse Johnny's Selected Seeds catalog and think about the possibilities this spring and summer. 

Usually every growing season I try out at least one new plant or variety of plant. This coming season I'm thinking of growing broccoli rabe, Italian eggplant, and some Bibb lettuce.

I made some spicy beef lettuce wraps a while back, and I really liked Bibb lettuce, which I've never grown. 

Fumbling Toward Culinary Talent: Ranch Dressing

Mrs. Nasty doesn't like buttermilk ranch dressing. If I use ranch dressing, I prefer it to be buttermilk ranch, but for the purpose of making a ranch dressing from scratch without buttermilk and without all the chemicals, I happened upon this recipe by chance. 

I tape episodes of Cook's Country from America's Test Kitchen, the cooking show you can find on your local PBS station. The most recent episode I watched had a recipe for fried cheese curds with ranch dressing. 

That's the base for this recipe, which I tweaked a little bit. 

Ingredients

• 2 tablespoons of fresh chives, chopped finely
• 2 tablespoons of fresh cilantro, chopped finely
• 1 1/2 tablespoons of fresh dill, chopped finely
• 1/4 cup of milk
• 1/3 cup of mayo
• 3 tablespoons of sour cream
• 1 small clove of garlic, minced
• 1 teaspoon of white wine vinegar
• 1/2 teaspoon of Penzey's roasted garlic
• Pinch of cayenne pepper
• Salt and pepper to taste

Process

It's pretty simple. Put it all into a big bowl and whisk vigorously. Put in enough salt and pepper to your taste. 

Fumbling Toward Culinary Talent: Turkey Brine

Over the past few years, I have brined turkey before roasting it. 

Here's the recipe I've used. I use an old baseball bucket with lid to brine the turkey and keep it out in the garage since it's cold in late November around these parts. 

Ingredients

5 bay leaves

A healthy smidge of peppercorns

5 garlic cloves

1 small onion chopped roughly

1 1/2 cups of kosher salt

1 cup of light brown sugar

5 quarts of water

Process

I put one quart of water in a pot and dump the brown sugar and salt into it. Heat the water to melt the sugar and water. Let it set for a while and then add the water into the bucket and the other water into the bucket. Place the turkey into the bucket and seal with lid. 

Brine it from anywhere from 12 to 24 hours. 

Fumbling Toward Culinary Talent: Stracotto, aka Italian Pot Roast

I watched a YouTube video the other day and decided to make this recipe. The video is from the dude on Sip and Feast, but you can see his recipe on his website "Stracotto (Italian Pot Roast)." 

I followed his recipe for the most part but made some slight changes. And I'm making this post here, so I can easily find it again. 

We have a number of chuck roasts in the freezer, so I'm looking for ways to use them. 

Ingredients

1 chuck roast

8 cloves of garlic, cut into slivers

3-4 tablespoons of olive oil

1 yellow onion, chopped finely

2 carrots, peeled and shredded on a box grater

3 ribs of celery, shredded on a box grater

3 tablespoons of tomato paste

1 28 oz. can of crushed tomatoes

1 1/2 cups of red wine--I used a Cabernet

2 cups of beef stock

4 large bay leaves

A healthy smidge of Penny's Tuscan Sunset seasoning

Kosher salt

Cracked black pepper

Process 

Heat the oven to 325 degrees. 

Use a large Dutch oven with a lid. Dry off the chuck roast and cut slits into the side of the roast. Insert the slivers of garlic into the roast and liberally salt and pepper the roast. 

Add the olive oil to the Dutch oven on medium-high heat and sear the roast on all sides. Set aside the roast. 

Move the heat to medium, add the onions, add salt, and add a bit of water (1/4 cup) to remove the bits off the bottom of the oven. Cook the onion for roughly 8 minutes and then add the shredded carrots and celery. Cook for about 10-15 minutes until really soft.

Add the tomato paste and cook for just a minute and incorporate it into the veggie mixture. Add the wine and use a wooden spoon to scrape up the bits off the bottom of the oven. Simmer the wine for about 10 minutes.  

Add in the beef stock, remaining garlic that has been chopped finely, bay leaves, and seasoning. 

Turn off the heat, put the roast into the braising liquid, secure the lid, and pop it into the oven for three hours. 

Take out the roast and check the internal temperature. Tent some aluminum foil over the top of it and let it rest. Skim off the fat/grease in the pot by using paper towels. 

Shread the beef and return it to the Dutch oven. 

I served mine with linguini, but you can easily put this over mashed potatoes.  

Fumbling Toward Culinary Talent: Blueberry Cornbread

I got this recipe from one of the episodes of either Cooks' Country or America's Test Kitchen on PBS.  

Ingredients

1 1/2 cups of AP flour

1 cup of yellow corn meal

3/4 cup of sugar

2 teaspoons of baking powder

1 teaspoon of salt

12 tablespoons of melted butter (cooled)

1 cup of whole milk

2 eggs

2 cups of blueberries

Process

Set the oven to 375 degrees. Put the dry ingredients together and whisk. In a separate bowl, whisk together the wet ingredients (butter, milk, and eggs) and then combine the wet with the dry ingredients. 

You don't want to overwork the batter--just get it mixed. Add the blueberries until mixed. 

Grease a cast iron skillet with butter and sprinkle corn meal on the surface so the cornbread comes out cleanly. 

Pour the batter into the skillet. Sprinkle the top of the batter with sugar. Cook for roughly 40 minutes until a paring knife comes out clean. 

Fumbling Toward Culinary Talent: Salmon Loaf

I found a recipe for salmon loaf on the InterWebs and modified it a little. It's pretty easy to make, but you need to create some kind of dill- or lemon-based sauce to put over it. 

Ingredients

• 1 can of canned salmon, drained and flaked
• 1 cup of dried breadcrumbs
• 1/2 cup of milk
• 1/4 cup of diced onion
• 2 eggs, beaten
• Juice of half of a lemon
• Salt and pepper to taste
• Couple of dashes of liquid smoke (you could substitute smoked paprika)
• Smidge of Old Bay seasoning

Process

After draining the salmon and flaking it, cook down onions in a little bit of oil. In a big mixing bowl, add the everything and mix well. 

Grease down a sheet pan and with your hands mold the mixture into a loaf. 

Put it into a 375-degree oven on the middle rack and bake for approximately 40-50 minutes. The loaf should have at least an internal temp of 165 degrees. 

Fumbling Toward Culinary Talent: Beef Liver Pate

I got the basics of this recipe from the InterWebs, but I modified it a bit. I added juice from a couple of slices of lime to brighten it up a bit. 

Ingredients

1 package of beef liver

6 TB of butter

2-3 slivers of lime, squeezed

Salt and pepper to taste

Dried thyme to taste

Process

Wash the liver and pat them dry. Cut into smaller sizes and sprinkle with kosher salt and freshly cracked black pepper. Put a cast-iron skillet on medium-high heat and add three tablespoons of butter to it. 

Once the butter is melted and sufficiently hot, add the liver and sauté each side of the liver for one minute. Move the cooked liver to a plate to cool. 

In a separate small skillet, melt three tablespoons of butter on low. 

Wait for about fifteen minutes, so the liver cools down. Place the liver, lime juice, melted butter, thyme, salt, and pepper into a food processor. Process till it's smooth and refrigerate. 

Fumbling Toward Culinary Talent: Lemon-Butter Fettuccine

I tried a recipe from The Washington Post a little while back, and I didn't like how it came out. So I modified it to my liking since I use the store-bought, cheaper parmesan cheese that mucked up the original recipe.

I like this version much better. 

Ingredients

1 stick of butter

2 lemons

1 regular box of fettuccine

1 TB of dried basil

1 Ts of dried oregano

1 Ts of minced garlic

1 Ts of Dan-O's seasoning

1 TB of Seasonello Bologna aromatic herbal salt

Extra virgin olive oil

Salt and pepper to taste

Process

First cook the pasta to al dente and drain. Once it is fully drained and cooled, drizzle it with some extra virgin olive oil and toss. 

Halfway through cooking the pasta, melt the butter on medium-low and zest the two lemons. Add the lemon zest, seasonings, and minced garlic to the melted butter and adjust to low. Juice half of a lemon into the melted butter and add salt and pepper. 

Kick the heat of the butter mixture up to medium-low and add the pasta in to fully coat it. 

When serving, liberally apply lots of parmesan cheese on top since the reaction between parmesan and lemon is a delightful combination. 

Fumbling Toward Culinary Talent: Pepperoni Pizza Chicken Cutlets

I've made these before using a cast iron skillet and then finished them in the oven. Now that I have a Blackstone griddle, I did them on it. 

Ingredients 

2 boneless skinless chicken breasts

Marinara sauce

Small slices of pepperoni

Grated mozzarella cheese

Salt and pepper mixture

Process

I have a four burner griddle, so I got it going with two burners set on medium-high and the other two burners on low. 

I cut both large chicken breasts in half and pounded them out with meat mallet/tenderizer, so they are of uniform thickness. I pounded them pretty thin. Use a mixture of salt of pepper on both sides. I used a combo I created that is a mixture of salt, pepper, Penzey's roasted garlic powder, and Penzey's smoked paprika. 

With the one side of the griddle scorching hot (475-500 degrees), place the chicken cutlets and press down if you want. I used a solid brick wrapped in aluminum foil on each cutlet for about 20 seconds to get a good sear.

Once you've seared both sides, cut off the burners to the smoking hot side and move the cutlets to the low heat side of the griddle. Put pepperoni on top of the cutlets first, top with marinara, and finish with cheese. 

Cook for a little while to melt the cheese, and they should be ready to go. 

Fumbling Toward Culinary Talent: Spicy Peanut Chicken & Vegetables

I can't find the original recipe on the website of The Washington Post, but that is where I got this recipe that I slightly modified. 

The recipe calls for using a wok. I don't have one of those, so I did it even better by using my four-burner Blackstone griddle. 

Ingredients

4 boneless, skinless chicken thighs, cut into small pieces

half of a yellow onion, roughly chopped

half of a bell pepper, roughly chopped

2 carrots, cut into skinny medallions

2 cups of broccoli, cut into small florets

1-2 cups of sliced baby bella mushrooms

1/3 cup of creamy peanut butter

3-4 TB of low-sodium soy sauce

2 ts of red pepper flakes

1-2 TB of minced or grated fresh ginger

2 garlic cloves, minced

Juice of half of a lemon

Rice

Salt and pepper to taste

Soy sauce

Vegetable oil

Process

I first made the spicy peanut sauce. In a large bowl, combine the peanut butter, soy sauce, red pepper flakes, ginger, garlic, and lemon juice. Bring together with a whisk. If it's too sour tasting because of the lemon, add a little water to smooth it out. 

Coat the griddle with vegetable oil and get it to medium-high heat on one side of the griddle. Set the other side to low. 

Start with the chicken and season and fully cook. Toward the end add in some soy sauce. Move the chicken to the side of the griddle on low. 

On the hotter part of the griddle, add the vegetables and cook thoroughly. Just like with the chicken, season and add some soy sauce at the end. 

Put the chicken and vegetables in the large bowl with the peanut sauce and coat thoroughly. Serve over rice. 

Fumbling Toward Culinary Talent: Cayenne Shrimp Roll

I stumbled across an intriguing recipe in The Washington Post. It's called a "Spicy Shrimp Roll." 

I modified it to fit the needs of the Nasty household since my son doesn't like horseradish. Also, I didn't have raw shrimp, so I just thawed a pound of fully cooked shrimp and cooked it quickly on my Blackstone griddle. 

Ingredients

1 stalk of celery, finely chopped

1 lb. of frozen fully cooked shrimp

1/2 cup of mayonnaise 

5 tablespoons of fresh lemon juice

2 teaspoons of cayenne pepper

2-4 tablespoons of chopped Italian parsley

2 tablespoons of butter

Hot dog buns or better rolls to sop up the goodness and serve as the sandwich-like base

Smidge of Old Bay seasoning

Smidge of roasted garlic seasoning

Salt and pepper

Process

After thawing out the shrimp, take off the tails and roughly chop up the shrimp. Add the chopped celery and set aside. 

In a separate bowl, combine half of the parsley, the cayenne pepper, lemon juice, roasted garlic, and salt and pepper. Mix together and set aside. 

On a griddle or in a skillet, melt the butter over medium heat and add in the shrimp/celery mixture. Add in the Old Bay. Sauté for roughly five minutes. 

Move the shrimp to the bowl with the mayo mixture and mix well and add in the rest of the parsley. 

Spoon the ingredients into a good roll. I made the mistake of using regular hot dog buns. They worked okay, but the eating would have been much better with more substantial rolls. 

Fumbling Toward Culinary Talent: Golden Chicken Vegetable Soup

I found a recipe via "Our 10 Most Popular Recipes of 2022" from The Washington Post, and I modified a bit to fit my tastes. 

Ingredients

1 lb. boneless chicken thighs (I used three of them), cut into small pieces

1 yellow onion, diced

2-3 carrots, cut thinly into full and half moon slices

1 stalk of celery, chopped

1 half of a bell pepper, diced

2 quarts of low sodium chicken stock

1-2 TB of freshly ground ginger

1-2 TB of turmeric

1 can of chickpeas, drained

2-3 cups of baby spinach

1 teaspoon of roasted garlic powder

1 TB of smoked paprika

Extra virgin olive oil for sautéing aromatics

Salt and pepper to taste

Process

In a Dutch oven, season the chicken and brown for ten minutes or so on medium-high heat. Remove the chicken to a plate and let rest. The chicken doesn't have to be cooked thoroughly through. 

Heat the olive oil on medium and dump in the onion, carrots, celery, and bell pepper. Add salt and pepper and sweat them down for five to ten minutes. Add the chicken, stock, ginger, turmeric, other seasonings, chickpeas, and half of the spinach. 

Partially cover and simmer on medium low heat for an hour. Then add the rest of the spinach and simmer for another 20 minutes or so. Check on the taste and adjust seasonings as needed. 

Random Notes from a Crank

I grew radishes this year in my garden, and they're going great. I use them as an alternative to potatoes when I make pot roast in the slow cooker, and you cannot tell much of a difference when the radishes have been in the slow cooker for about eight hours. 

It's clear that industrial ag sprays something on the radishes after they've been picked because I picked a few a couple of days ago, and when I tried to use them for a salad, they were all soft and not good eats. 

After I cut up a ton of radishes for the pot roast dish, I got to thinking. All these leaves that I'm composting - are they good to eat? 

Apparently they are. 

You can use them similar to any other kind of greens. So I'm going to add a few to when I wilt some spinach, which I'm doing quite regularly since my spinach is kicking it right now. 

The culinary scions of the InterWebs tells us that they have a peppery flavor. I chewed on one raw leaf, and it reminded me of the taste of mustard greens. 

And apparently you can substitute radish greens for basil and make a pesto. 

I've been making my own salad dressings for the last year or so, and the quality of homemade ones is such much better than that store-bought stuff. 

My go-to recipes are thousand island and blue cheese dressing, and occasionally I make a balsamic vinaigrette.