Stay Positive: Nike's Ad Campaign

As the Senate grills a hand-picked far-right probable Supreme Court justice, it seems more people are concerned about Nike's ad campaign that includes Colin Kaepernick. 

One of my Facebook "friends," a relative by marriage, immediately spread the following opinion piece among his social network: "Why I'm Boycotting Nike: Get Broke or Woke." 

A more measured and nuanced take on the whole situation is this article: "What Did Nike Just Do? Kaepernick Ad May Gain More from Gen Z than It Loses." 

It stands to reason that one of the iconic American brands probably did quite a bit of market research before unveiling this ad campaign. I'm sure they did some serious cost-benefit analysis before featuring Kaepernick in the campaign. 

As the second article relates, a number of companies have taken political stances, which is nothing new. I'm thinking Nike weighed short-term loses against long-term gains and went with the latter. 

As for me, I need some new athletic shoes. My pair of Saucony running shoes have lost some umph on their footboards. I haven't bought a pair of Nike shoes in ages, probably since the 90s, because I tend to like the styles and fits of Adidas and Saucony. When I do my next shopping spree for athletic shoes, I'm trying on some Nikes. 

Regardless, I still don't see how kneeling is a sign of disrespect. Not going out during the anthem or belligerently doing something else might be seen more accurately as disrespectful. 

People can stupidly burn their shoes or tear up their clothing all they want, but Kaepernick was advised by a veteran and 49ers fan way back when to kneel as a sign of respect. 

The rest of all this hokum is just dog-whistling.  

Random Notes from a Crank

The report broke this week about the widespread abuse allegations by Catholic leaders in the state of Pennsylvania: "Pennsylvania Grand Jury Report on Child Sex Abuse Lists Hundreds of Accused Priests." As the report relates, "'We subpoenaed and reviewed, half a million pages of internal documents. They contained credible allegations against over three hundred predator priest. Over one thousand child victims were identifiable, from the church's own records. We believe that the real number -- of children whose records were lost, or who were afraid ever to come forward -- is in the thousands." 

It's disgusting but not surprising. 

I try to stay away from drinking out of anything plastic for some good reasons: "Obesity and Diabetes: Two Reasons Why We Should Be Worried about the Plastics that Surround Us." 

Is anyone actually buying this bullshit about "Space Force" besides the sycophants of the right wing and FoxNews? 

Is Mexico going to fund it? 

I like what Bernie Sanders and his ilk say on the campaign trail for a number of reasons, but the fiscal conservative in me keeps asking me this question: "How are you going to pay for all of this?"

Since it's the start of the school year for many, I though I'd share this data from August's Harper's Index: 

• Percentage of US public-school teachers who spend their own money on school supplies: 94
• Average amount a teacher spends each school year: $479
• Percentage change since 2008 in the average US public-school teachers salary: -4

Random Notes from a Crank

Some people get obsessed with how their lawns look. I don't. There are already too many herbicides polluting the hell out of our waterways. This time of the year my lawn is sprouting lots of clover, which I find appealing. I like the way it looks ~ this little white sprouts dotting the lawn. Also, honeybees like clover, and honeybees need all the help they can get these days. 

MoscowDon pulled the US out of the Paris Climate Agreement. Here's the op-ed piece by the co-director of the MIT Program on the Science and Policy of Global Change. He basically calls the current president on his bullshit and lies: "Trump Used Our Research to Justify Pulling out of the Paris Agreement: He Got It Wrong." 

I'm currently watching the Comey Hearing. Some of these dipsticks are really going to run with the wording of "I hope..." Stop the bullshit. MoscowDon was asking Comey to gut the Russia investigation. That is obvious morons.

Random Notes from a Crank

We spent a week in Orlando for a national dance competition my daughter's squad was competing in. One we went to Typhoon Lagoon. One phenomenon I noticed there and at the local swimming pool this summer is that some men wear underwear under their swim trunks. I don't understand. Men's swim trunks have liners in them. What's the point? Are some guys ball sacs so sensitive that they have to wear underwear to swim? 

On a positive note, going to a massive waterpark like that one can make a person feel better about their body image. 

The GOP Convention starts today. I expect it to be ridiculous. 

Speaking of ridiculous, this short article, "Republican Platform Declares Coal is Clean," should have been put out by The Onion, not Grist. You could accuse the RNC of plagiarism. 

My family and friends of our family have recently gotten into geocaching. I enjoy it. It gets me outside and walking and exploring places. 

Random Notes from a Crank

I'm happy to relate I'm not part of organized religion anymore. That change happened decades ago. I'm more a believer in disorganized spirituality. One of the bonuses of that stance is that I don't have any kind of religious-based rationale to hate gay people. 

My daughter, on the other hand, has been going to this youth group for over a year now. I have misgivings about it for various reasons. I know exactly how the main characters of The Americans feel about their daughter Paige getting involved with a church. 

In The Atlantic online, the magazine solicited readers' replies to this question: "What is the greatest prank of all time?" The one I liked the best was from Frank Tokarsky: "To paraphrase George Carlin, the greatest prank of all time must be what organized religion is trying to peddle: 'There's this man who lives in the sky; he knows everything, and he sees everything ... and he needs your money." 

Here's an extended version of those sentiments: "The greatest bullshit story every told." 




I started out my resurrected softball career with a groundout (5-3) in my first at bat, a mildly pulled groin, a misplay in right field, a much needed walk for my second at bat, and a run scored. That certainly checks off the boxes for middle-aged man. The last time I played softball was when I severely dislocated my left thumb (the bone was sticking out) back in the mid-90s. I'm a bit rusty. 

Check out Robert H. Frank's "Why Luck Matters More Than You Think." That article spurred me buy his book, Success and Luck: Good Fortune and the Myth of Meritocracy. Frank is an economist, a profession stereotyped as being abstruse writers. However, the book is very readable and thought provoking.  

Random Notes from a Crank

If you're like me, you'll enjoy Bill Maher's points about US taxpayers subsidizing religions. For the short version, here's an article on RawStory: "Bill Maher Calls for Taxes on All Religions." 

For the full argument, here's the video.



His argument works nicely with the fact that many of the founding fathers were freemasons who believed fiercely in the strict separation of church from state.

Grist has an interview with a chef who tries to have his restaurant be sustainable. I had never heard of blue fish, but I like his point about using broccoli leaves. I am growing baby broccoli in my garden this summer. Something to remember. 

Also from Grist, there's an article about how "More Californians Work in 'Advanced Energy' Jobs than Farming or Hollywood." The final ¶ of the article sums up what we might see more of from politicians: "In the world of politics, 'jobs' are solid political gold. They are the glittering beacon that politicians will cross party lines to get closer to, in their eternal quest to find the perfect factory floor for shaking hands. This particular study is only in its second year, but it already bodes well for even more legislation in support of clean energy, in California and beyond."

Random Notes from a Crank

If you're not watching Full Frontal with Samantha Bee, you're missing something. It's too bad the show is only on once a week. 

Here's a greatest hits from the first six weeks of the show posted on sheknows.com: "8 Times Samantha Bee Has Positively Owned Late Night."  

The other day my daughter and I were watching the program, and she said, "I want to be like her," meaning she wants to be someone who does investigative reporting and calls out people on their bullshit. 

This is the same young lady who volunteered to enter a speech contest and won second without any help from her parents. If she does it again next year, I'm going to make sure I consult on the speech. Next time we'll be gunning for first. 

Seth Meyers had a nice piece on the nonsense of trickle-down economics happening in Kansas. Those policies are as dumb as a box of dildos. Literally. 




"Why Donald Trump Is Wrong about Manufacturing Jobs and China" from The New Yorker is an interesting read. I wrote about reshoring in 2012 and 2013. I'd still like to see more jobs come back to the U.S.A. One move both Trump and Sanders have made is tapping into resentment about "free trade." In fact, Trump talks like a protectionist, which among other Trump-based matters, is roiling the GOP establishment.

Unfortunately, Sports Illustrated has predicted that the Cubs will be in the World Series this season. That's bad news because SI is notorious for being horrible at predictions. 

Random Notes from a Crank

The other day I had to watch a tv show in real time like a common animal rather than watching the dvr recording of it. It was horrible. All those commercials. 

I am so angry and frustrated with my local state representative and state senator that for the first time in my life I"m going to vote in a GOP primary rather than the Democratic primary, so I can vote against them. It'll be hard to stomach voting for a president on the GOP ballot, but I may have to go with Trump because his candidacy could spell doom for the Republican party in a Whig-like shakeup. It's an extreme outside shot, but it could happen. Or at least a Trump candidacy would flush all kinds of voters to the Democratic side. As much as I agree with Trump that we need to get American industry going again (which is part of Sanders' message too), I also agree with Rubio's notion that Trump is a con-man. 

For example, see Jon Oliver's wonderful takedown of Donald Drumpf, "a litigious serial liar with a string of broken business ventures and the support of a former Klan leader." #MakeDonaldDrumpfAgain

Random Notes from a Crank

With Trump as the front runner and Ben Carson as second in the current GOP field, this whole Republican race is bizarre, especially with Carson believing that the world was created in six days. That's right. The world was created in six days according to Carson. Stunningly stupid. Even my eleven-year old daughter recognized that story as a metaphor. Check out "Ben Carson: The World Was Created in 6 Days. Literally." 

Over at the Washington Post, in "Why Republicans Are Starting to Panic, in One Paragraph." Chris Cillizza concisely sums up what a number of people in the GOP are worried about considering demographics and the coming presidential election. 

As for the Democrats, it's the Hillary and Bernie dynamic right now with Biden sitting it out at the moment. I suspect Biden decides to run. 

The candidate I would probably support the most, Elizabeth Warren, made an appearance on The Late Show with Stephen Colbert. 

I'm one of the coaches for my son's soccer team, which makes me wish I played soccer as a kid. I think there might have been some soccer leagues back then northern Iowa (maybe), but the junior high schools and high schools didn't offer soccer as a sport. 

This weekend the men of the Nasty home will have the house to ourselves. Mrs. Nasty and my daughter are going with a few friends to Nashville to see an insanely expensive Taylor Swift concert. 

Random Notes from a Crank

As you would probably figure if you know me or if you have been reading this blog for any length of time, I didn't watch the GOP debate this week. The first reason is because I dislike clowns. The second reason is that I wouldn't vote for any of those people. 

I did partake in the not-so-shocking factcheck reports. If you're interested, here you go:

• "Factchecking the CNN Republican Debate" by FactCheck.org
• "We Fact-Checked What the Republicans Said about Climate Change During the Debate" by Mother Jones/Climate Desk

I'm glad Rubio set me straight on understanding that America is not a planet. 

I'm interested to see how the Democratic candidates fare with the fact-checkers when they debate. But when are they going to debate? Seriously. 

Ah, not till October...

While I'm not Catholic, I like this new Pope, and I'm interested in what he has to say when he addresses Congress. 

I really enjoy this meme.

I'd like to get an old card catalog and have it in my house or in my office. That would be sweet. 

What is "The Love Ballad of Turd Ferguson"? 

Random Notes from a Crank

As I was driving down a main road in my town today, coming the other way was a 4x4 pickup truck parading down the road with two large flags situated at the front of the truck's bed, flapping in the wind as it drove. One flag was the American flag. The other was the Stars and Bars. With what happened in Charleston and with the governor of SC wanting to take the Confederate flag down from the state capitol building (as if that act would assuage what happened in that church), you can't pinpoint the motivations for what those two morons in that truck are trying to do. Regardless, it was a spectacle of idiocy I haven't seen in a while.

Roxane Gay has a solid opinion piece in the New York Times: "Why I Can't Forgive Dylann Roof." 

Later that day I was watching my son doing his tae kwon do class. The large women two rows in front of me had one of the uglier tattoos I've seen in a good while. It was on her left shoulder, and it was large version of Hello Kitty, but it was green to make it a zombie Hello Kitty. 

Recently I noticed my son likes saying, "Holy smokes." Then I noticed that I say that too. I can't figure out if I picked it up from him or he picked it up from me. It's a rooster-and-egg thing. 

Since I'm an assistant coach for a machine-pitch baseball team, I've been contemplating pitching a new reality series: Baseball Moms. 

The season premiere of True Detective was quite the episode. Wow. That Colin Farrell character looks like a classic antihero. 

Random Notes from a Crank

We got home late Saturday night from Florida. When I went to pick up the dog from the kennel on Sunday morning, I received the happy surprise that all of the sweet gum balls on my front yard were gone. Before we left for spring break, I mentioned to my neighbor that when I get home, I will be taking care of the scads of sweet gum balls covering my front yard. While we were away, he cleansed by lawn of them. I guess shoveling their driveway all winter has some pay-it-forward dividends. 

Jason Isbell will have a new album out this year. This interview on radio.com provides some insight about the forthcoming album and his songwriting methods. 

I'm about to finish reading Words Onscreen: The Fate of Reading in a Digital World by Naomi S. Baron. If you're an educator or you're just plain interested in literacy, you need to check it out. 

In my previous Random Notes post, I linked an article about the upcoming presidential race. In a whole different direction, Alternet offers "The Six Most Evil Presidents in U.S. History." George W. Bush shouldn't be in the runner-up category. To me, he's gotta be somewhere in the top six. 

And here's "Seven Demented Right-Wing Moments..." on FoxNews. 

On a cheerier note, the U.K. created an enormous marine sanctuary in the Pacific. 

Random Notes from a Crank

Michael T. Klare's "Carbon's Counterattack" is a worthwhile read over on TomDispatch. This ¶ stood out to me: 
But this vision, like so much contemporary advertising, is based on a lie: in this case, on the increasingly bizarre idea that, in the twenty-first century, humanity can burn its way through significant parts of the planet’s reserves of fossil fuels to achieve a world in which everything is essentially the same -- there’s just more of it for everyone.  In the world portrayed by Exxon, it’s possible for a reassuring version of business-as-usual to proceed without environmental consequences.  In that world, the unimpeded and accelerated release of carbon into the atmosphere has no significant impact on people’s lives.  This is, of course, a modern fairy tale that, if believed, will have the most disastrous of results.

For a much different perspective, read Grist's article on recent peer-reviewed scholarship published in Nature: "Leave the Damn Fossil Fuels in the Ground, Says Big Nerdy Study." 

Regardless, here's a quotation from Rebecca Solnit: "To me, the grounds for hope are simply that we don't know what will happen next, and that the unlikely and unimaginable transpire quite regularly. And that the unofficial history of the world shows that dedicated individuals and popular movements can shape history and have, though how and when we might win and how long it takes is not predictable." 

Over the holidays, the Nasty family got into watching game shows, namely Family Feud and The Price is Right. Since I primarily do the grocery shopping in the family, I enjoy The Price is Right. I remember that show being a big draw at my fraternity house. It and Supermarket Sweep. 

My son, a first grader, starts his basketball season this month. It should be entertaining. I hope he's better than I was and he grows taller than I am (eventually). For whatever reason, in junior high school, I went out for the basketball team a couple of times. I stunk. So many kids went out for basketball that West Junior had three teams: A, B, and C. It's not hard to guess what team I suited up for. I should have gone into wrestling instead. 

Bourbon Subterfuge

As I wrote about a while back, I've become a bit of bourbon dork/connoisseur, so I'm reading up on the history of the spirit and the current boom of America's spirit. 

Some bourbons and ryes out there craft interesting narratives for their products. Some of them are relatively true, but many of the stories behind the brands should be considered very creative non-fiction, and others stories are outright bullshit inventive marketing lies like the nonsense surrounding Templeton Rye. 

If you're interested in learning about some of those lies, check out Eric Felton's "Your 'Craft' Rye Whiskey Is Probably From a Factory Distillery in Indiana." 

In the article, you discover the shenanigans of Diageo and smaller producers. One of hyperlinks in the article via Sku's Recent Eats provides a comprehensive list of who is really producing what. 

It's good to see both Cedar Ridge in Swisher and Mississippi River Distilling Co. in Leclaire, Iowa are making their own stuff. I doubt the juice they make is as solid and consistent as many of the products from Heaven Hill, Buffalo Trace, and Four Roses, but it's good to see smaller companies out there hustling to make bourbon on their own. 

Random Notes from a Crank

In my neck of the woods here in east-central Illinois, a status symbol or sign of mid-life crisis appears to be buying a Jeep.

To drive back from Mattoon to Charleston with take-out from Thai Noodle is a mild form of torture. 

I read some good news in the paper today. There's a healthy population of river otters in Illinois now. 

If you've had to endure nitwits citing the cold weather happening on their little speck of the planet as proof that climate change is not real, "Scientists: Americans are Becoming 'Weather Wimps.'" might provide some solace through science and statistical analysis. So when you hear or read someone complain about the cold weather, which, you know, happens in this crazy season called winter, you can simply say nothing and think of that person as a wimp. 

Random Notes from a Crank

There's so much to talk about regarding the media dumpster fire around Manti Te'o that broke after the Deadspin article on Wednesday. However, one of the funnier takes on this whole duping of the media about a fake dead girlfriend is "How to Tell If Your Friend's Girlfriend is Not Real: A Lesson from the Manti Te'o Fiasco." 

Here's my take though, and this apparently shows my age: Way back when in the good old days, I had girlfriends who I actually met, talked with face-to-face, went on dates with, and had physical contact with (wink, wink, nudge, nudge). It's a concept. That's good old fashioned old technology for dating. 

Sunday Hangover: Bye Week

The Crimson Tide spent this week healing up and working on fundamentals.

There were some interesting games yesterday, however. 

Florida State got outmuscled and outhustled by the Wolfpack of NC State. The ACC's best chance for a national title contender is out of the mix. 

South Carolina looked great last night by demolishing the Georgia Bulldogs, but their next two contests are versus LSU in Baton Rouge and versus Florida in Gainesville -- tough sledding.

Watching Ace Sanders from South Carolina returns kickoffs and punts makes me miss Javy Arenas. Alabama hasn't had a serious punt return threat since Javy. Now with Dee Hart out for the year because of knee injury, Alabama needs to find someone at that position. 

That Gillislee guy from Florida is one impressive running back.

One of my "friends" on FB last night said he'd like to see a National Championship Game between West Virginia and Oregon. I would hate that. That idea is dog shit. It would be horrible with their "oley bullshit" defenses.  

Random Notes from a Crank

Last Thursday we went to a typical parent orientation night for our daughter's third grade class. It went well, but it was hard not to notice one parent who showed up a little late to the orientation. It was hot and humid out, so she was wearing a shirt that didn't have sleeves. On her left upper arm was one of the most disgusting and stupid tattoos I've ever seen. The image was of a swastika, but the darkly humorous aspect of the symbol was that it was poorly done. In particular, one of the prongs of the symbol looked bent like the tattoo artist had gotten through three prongs, and on the fourth one, the booze finally took effect. The one prong wasn't comparable to the other three. It looked like someone had come along and taken a hammer to the one prong and pounded it in. Oh, but the tattoo wasn't complete just with a highly compromised design of the Nazi symbol. The artist tried to complement the image with words. Above the symbol there was in script "White," and below the symbol was written "Pride" to create the message of "White Pride." Disgusting. 

On a more positive note, my daughter found out today that she was one of the "top three" people in her grade who read the most over the summer. During the summer, we were encouraged to keep a log of how many minutes she read each day. Because she's one of the top three summer readers, she got some serious prizes: a fancy notebook, a crazy yellow pen that has rubber dreads atop it, a colorful pencil, a booklight, and two free books--Judy Moody: Girl Detective & Geronimo Stilton: A Cheese-Colored Camper. That's quite a haul -- some nice educational loot. 

Simplifying the Issues

Since the election season approaches and because some readers who live in battleground states will have to suffer through a morbid glut of TV ads about this or that candidate, I thought I'd share some wisdom gleaned from the The Worst-Case Scenario Almanac: Politics. 

The whole book is an enjoyable read, but in Chapter 3, which is titled "The Media and the Message: Spin Cycle," there is a set of recommendations called "How to Simplify a Complicated Message." The principles seem like they've been sent from the grave of Lee Atwater. 

So if you live in one of those poor states that is considered a "toss-up" or "in play" or if you're simply masochistic, viewing the ads through these recommendations might be valuable. I'm going to quote from book at length because the authors, David Borgenicht and Turk Regan are spot on with how many of these political ads work. 

So here you go:

Principle 1: "Be Emotional." Simply put, "Effective and memorable political messages depend on inspiring emotional responses from voters that drive them to polls."

Principle 2: "Draw a picture." This is where the either-or fallacy is the Sophist's friend: "Reduce the issue or situation to a single image or pair of opposing images in which it is clear what is good and what is bad.... The direct connection between the images and the issue are less important than the positive or negative emotional reactions that they stir..." 

Principle 3: "Use an Analogy." If visuals don't work, they recommend "describ[ing] the situation or issue in terms of a familiar, folksy saying in which it is obvious what is preferable, in a way that even the least sophisticated of voters can understand and appreciate" For example, some supported Bush over Kerry because "We don't want to change horses midstream [during a war]." 

Principle 4: "Remove all doubt." In political ads, complexity is the enemy: "Remove all shading, nuance, or equivocation from your statements about the issue. State that any acknowledgment of complication surrounding the issue by your opponent is a sign of weakness and being 'soft' on the matter at hand." 

Principle 5: "Compare and Contrast." See how this connects to Principle 2: "Paint the issue as a conflict in the broadest possible terms, between right and wrong, or good and evil." 

Riffing on State Mottoes

When we were at Target this Saturday, we looked through the $1 bins like we usually do. We picked up some educational materials for the kids, and one of the bargains we got my daughter is a set of United States flash cards.

As I was checking them out yesterday, I focused on the states' mottoes. I thought I'd share my thoughts about them.

Alabama: "We Dare Defend Our Rights." That's seems a little confrontational. How dare you, Alabamians! Wouldn't "We Defend Our Rights" be much cleaner and not so prickly sounding? I like the old Alabama state motto better, which was "Here We Rest." It's more relaxed and laid back.

Alaska: "North to the Future." This is typical of the Chamber of Commerce jingoism you'll see more of quickly. What future?

Arizona: "God Enriches." What happened to the separation of Church and State the Founding Fathers, many of whom were staunch Freemasons, favored? I don't like this. States can do better than religious-induced, sunshine-pumpin' aphorisms. You'll see more of this foolishness soon.

Arkansas: "The People Rule." That's a nice sentiment, but it sounds a lot like bullshit. Perhaps it should be updated to "Super PACs and corporations and special interest groups rule even before the Roberts Court deemed that money equals speech."

California: "Eureka," aka "I Have Found It." The translation fits with California's mythos. I kind of like it. It takes cojones to have a good one-word motto.

Colorado: "Nothing Without Providence." Here we go again. See Arizona.

Connecticut: "He Who Transplanted Still Sustains." I like it. The motto connects to the American boomer mentality but spins it for the positive. "Sustains" is a strong verb.

Delaware: "Liberty and Independence." Can state mottoes be called for plagiarism?

Florida: "In God We Trust." Wow, that's original. See Delaware, Colorado, and Arizona.

Georgia: "Wisdom, Justice, and Moderation." If anyone has studied the civil rights movement, they would see that this motto does not fit Georgia. The governor back in the 60s recommended that citizens use axe-handles on demonstrators. I like the motto's idealistic triad though. We should aspire for all of those.

Hawaii: "The Life of the Land is Perpetuated by Righteousness." I'm having some trouble parsing this one, but I love what seems to be a focus on environmental sustainability. It reminds me a number of poems by W.S. Merwin where he discusses defending Hawaii's sacred lands and trees.

Idaho: "It is Forever." What is "it"? I call Idaho on a hazy referent.

Illinois: "State Sovereignty, National Union." This sounds more like a motto for Jeffersonians than one for a state notorious for being politically and culturally bi-polar. It should be revised to "Chicago Political Oligarchy, State Disarray."

Indiana: "The Crossroads of America." That's horrible. It beats Alaska for Chamber of Commerce jingoism so far.

Iowa: "Our Liberties We Prize and Our Rights We Will Maintain." I'm biased of course (a native Iowan), but I really like this one. The dyad of liberties and rights works for me, and the use of first person plural is smart. The pronoun indicates that citizens are all in it together.

Kansas: "To the Stars Through Difficulties." I have little inkling on what that means. There's got to be a story there.

Kentucky: "United We Stand, Divide We Fall." See Delaware and Florida.

Louisiana: "Union, Justice, and Confidence." The first two are what you'd expect from a state motto, but then those Cajuns slip in "confidence" on you. I wonder why confidence? Did Louisiana have a inferiority complex at one time? Did Texas beat it up in the 19th century?

Maine: "I Direct." See Idaho. I suspect "I" represents some kind of ceremonial deism though. See Florida, Colorado, and Arizona.

Maryland: "Strong Deeds, Gentle Words." Maybe we can accuse Teddy Roosevelt of plagiarism of Maryland's motto. Maryland's motto is better than Teddy's famous phrase though. This is classic antithesis. Well done, Maryland.

Massachusetts: "By the Sword We Seek Peace, but Peace Under Liberty." This makes sense for a colony and then a state known for its disputatious character and reputation.  It works well, I think.

Michigan: "If You See a Pleasant Peninsula, Look Around You." When I first read this one, I thought "What?!?" It smacks of Chamber of Commerce jingoism but is flat out goofy. I doubt there are Americans out there thinking, "I need to find a good peninsula," unless of course they're geographers.

Minnesota: "The Star of the North." The Minnesotans beat Alaska to this one. Because I have a bias for the Gopher State, I'm a fan of this motto.

Mississippi: "By Valor and Arms." As they are typically depicted, Southern gentlemen want to be remembered as valiant, so valor makes sense here. I can see a bunch of landed gentry thinking up this motto as they sipped hot toddies back at the hunting lodge.

Missouri: "The Welfare of the People Shall Be the Supreme Law." Oh, I really like this one. It's one of my favorite states too. "Shall" isn't used enough anymore, "welfare of the people" rings true for me, and "supreme law" is strong diction.

Montana: "Gold and Silver." Apparently in Montana, it's all about the Benjamins, which begs the question: Why aren't there any good hip-hop outfits coming out of the Treasure State? Regardless, now I know where Yukon Cornelius hails from. That drunk miner just got the motto mixed up.

Nebraska: "Equality Before the Law." This motto makes it sound like Nebraskans, who are good folk, are focused squarely on jurisprudence. I like the saying and sentiment, but it doesn't adequately reflect the Cornhusker State.

Nevada: "All for Our Country." No states rights foolishness for Nevadans.

New Hampshire: "Live Free or Die." This has to be the most famous state motto, and it deserves its fame even though the authors provide an either-or proposition. No nuance with this one, memorable, and a great Son Volt song.

New Jersey: "Liberty and Prosperity." Surely Jersey folks could have come up with something better than this. See Kentucky, Delaware, and Florida.

New Mexico: "It Grows as It Goes." This maxim espouses patience, which I would imagine is necessary when a state is mostly a desert. I wonder if this is where the maxim "It is what it is" came from.

New York: "Ever Upward." I think this would be a good slogan for boner-creating drugs like Cialis and Viagra: "Do you suffer from erectile dysfunction? Try the new drug ____, and it's ever upward!"

North Carolina: "To Be, Rather Than to Seem." I like what the Tar Heels have done here. In other words, don't act like something you're not. Be yourself. That's a good message, but I don't know how appropriate it is for a state motto.

North Dakota: "Liberty and Union, Now and Forever, One and Inseparable." Oh, Good Lord! Why not shove "the pursuit of happiness" into the motto while you're at it? See New Jersey, Kentucky, Delaware, and Florida.

Ohio: "With God, All Things Are Possible." I hate this. All things are not possible. There are such things as science, biology, chemistry, and the laws of physics. See Florida, Colorado, and Arizona.

Oklahoma: "Labor Conquers All Things." Although at first read I really liked this one because I valorize (take that Mississippians) hard work, grit, discipline, and resilience, when you think about it, it's a lot like Ohio's. They just replaced God with Labor.

Oregon: "She Flies With Her Own Wings." We can presume "she" is the state of Oregon. But Oregon is the Beaver State. Beavers can't fly. They swim. They chew wood. I call you on your illogical motto, Oregon. Your move, female winged beaver.

Pennsylvania: "Virtue, Liberty, and Independence." The last two of the trio are standard fare as we've seen ad nauseum. But I like the inclusion of "virtue" at the top of the list. We don't worry about virtue as much as we should. We should be virtuous in civic behavior, but if you go by talk radio and the cable news channels, you're not going to find a lot of virtuous civil behavior on display. Of the lifted mottoes, this is one of the better ones.

Rhode Island: "Hope." Like I said about California, it takes balls to go with a one-word motto. But hope is such a squishy word that it leaves the reader with little to hang on to.

South Carolina: "Prepared in Mind and Resources" & "While I Breathe, I Hope." In typical South Carolinian fashion, the state has two mottoes. While I enjoy the phrase "prepared in mind," neither motto works for me. And how can one be prepared in resources? I guess a state can prepare its resources, but more generally, a state has resources that get depleted. Or in the case of some aquifers, they get replenished.

South Dakota: "Under God, the People Rule." Here we go once again. See Ohio, Florida, Colorado, and Arizona.

Tennessee: "Agriculture and Commerce." We have a contender with Indiana for the worst state motto.

Texas: "Friendship." Everything isn't bigger in Texas. This brash state provides a two-syllable motto that means something and nothing. See Rhode Island.

Utah: "Industry." I'm beginning to think writers of these these commercial mottoes should have tried haikus instead. At least I like haikus.

Vermont: "Freedom and Unity." Vermonters take two concepts that could be seen as opposites and conjoin them. How paradoxical of you Green Mountain State. Me like.

Virginia: "Thus Always to Tyrants." Now that is a memorable and historic saying. I would imagine many Virginians nowadays don't like being connected to John Wilkes Booth. But George Mason recommended the phrase reportedly uttered by Brutus.

Washington: "By and By." If I had all of the mottoes by themselves and had to connect them to certain states blindly, I would guess this motto was connected with Hawaii. The Evergreen State surprises with this one. I'm not sure how to take it, but I think it'd be a great name for a bar: "I'm going to the By and By."

West Virginia: "Mountaineers Are Always Free." This is a nice anthem to provide positive imagery for a state that, unfortunately, could use some good news.

Wisconsin: "Forward." Of all the one-word mottoes, I'm supporting Wisconsin's. It defeats California in that competition.

Wyoming: "Equal Rights." When I think of Wyoming, I don't think of equal rights. However, it also has the moniker of the Equality State. I was intrigued how this came to be, and apparently Wyoming women were the first women to be able to vote, hold public offices, and serve on juries. Way to go!.

So if there were a state motto smackdown, here are the ranked contenders if I'm serving as a one-person selection committee. You've already seen their flags:

1. Iowa: "Our Liberties We Prize and Our Rights We Will Maintain."
2. New Hampshire: "Live Free or Die."
3. Missouri: "The Welfare of the People Shall Be the Supreme Law."
4. Virginia: "Thus Always to Tyrants."
5. Vermont: "Freedom and Unity."
6. Hawaii: "The Life of the Land is Perpetuated by Righteousness."
7. Wisconsin: "Forward."
8. Connecticut: "He Who Transplanted Still Sustains." 
9. Maryland: "Strong Deeds, Gentle Words."
10. North Carolina: "To Be, Rather Than to Seem."

I''ve made a poll where you can vote for your favorite among those ten candidates. Please vote.