Fantasy Red Herrings

Below is the the seventh annual installment of my Fantasy Red Herrings post. Like I did in '16, '15, '14, '13, '12 and '11, I'm providing my usual intro before the good stuff...

Since I know some readers of this blog are my comrades who will draft players in our fantasy baseball league this Saturday, I thought I'd post about players that GMs might want to target for the upcoming season.

But my fellow GMs might think this document is simply a list of red herrings.

Maybe players on it are.

Maybe players on it aren't.

Regardless, here are players to target or low risk/high reward players for 2014. 

First Base: Matt Holliday, New York Yankees
As much as Holliday has been a suspect outfielder for a substantial part of his career, the dude still can hit. In an OBP league, he's especially valuable because he'll probably cash in a .360ish OBP with twentysomething homers on the season. My only concern would be Bird and Carter taking some of his at-bats. 

Second Base: Robinson Cano, Seattle Mariners
Big-time sleeper, right? A couple of years ago people were asking, "What has happened to Cano?" The last two seasons have seen him get back to his hitting prowess. With Nelson "the Boomstick" Cruz and Kyle Seager hitting near him in the order, he has a good bit of protection. He's a veteran, but with fantasy baseballers consistently chasing prospects, Cano might get overlooked. He's steady. He's consistent. 

Shortstop: Aledmys Diaz, St. Louis Cardinals
This guy had a breakout season last year, and then he got hurt. I don't know about the quality of his defense, but who the heck cares about that? This is fantasy baseball. 

Third Base: Nick Castellanos, Detroit Tigers
He had a good season last year, and he gets overshadowed by other hitters in the Tigers lineup. The projections I'm using predict he'll hit 25 home runs and provide a respectable OBP. Not bad for a guy you'd select later in the draft. 

Outfielder: Roman Quinn, Philadelphia Phillies
I predict 30some stolen bases, a decent average and OBP, and regular playing time. He could be a solid and respectable fourth or fifth outfielder on any fantasy squad.

Catcher: Austin Hedges, San Diego Padres
I normally punt catcher until the last or next to last pick in the draft. This guy apparently has power and comes at a cheap price. Me like. 

Starting Pitcher: Lucas Giolito, Chicago White Sox
I was surprised the Nationals traded this guy because he is/was a highly touted prospect. He didn't look that great when he was called up to the majors, but most starting pitchers rarely take the league by storm once they come up. My main concern is that he will have to pitch half of his games in a hitter's ballpark. So there's that. 

Relief Pitcher: Tony Watson, Pittsburgh Pirates
I'm a bit of a homer with this pick. He's from Iowa. I'm originally from Iowa. However, he did well as the Pirates' closer once Melancon was traded. Some of the fantasy intelligentsia predict that he'll go back to middle relief and Daniel Hudson will be the close, but I doubt it. 

Music Friday: "Centerfield"

Baseball starts Sunday night. 

Tomorrow I'll be in St. Louis for my fantasy baseball draft. Draft Day is one of my favorite days of the year. In addition, I'll be bringing back my league's trophy because I won the league last year. 

Roll Schlitzophrenics Roll. 

I'm sure this song will be played at all kinds of ball parks this season. 

Fantasy Red Herrings

Below is the the sixth annual installment of my Fantasy Red Herrings post. Like I did in '15, '14, '13, '12 and '11, I'm providing my usual intro before the good stuff...

Since I know some readers of this blog are my comrades who will draft players in our fantasy baseball league this Saturday, I thought I'd post about players that GMs might want to target for the upcoming season.

But my fellow GMs might think this document is simply a list of red herrings.

Maybe players on it are.

Maybe players on it aren't.

Regardless, here are players to target or low risk/high reward players for 2014. 

First Base: Chris Carter, Milwaukee Brewers
This dude is often overlooked because he hits for such a low average. But I play in an OBP league, so Carter is a good guy to nab in the later rounds to fill in at the Util spot. He moves from a home hitter's park (Houston) to another home hitter's park (Milwaukee), so I expect him to sustain his high home run and decent rbi totals. The last few years he hit 24 ('15), 37 ('14), and 27 ('13) home runs. Anywhere in the 25-35 home run range should be expected. 

Second Base: Logan Forsythe, Tampa Bay Rays
This guy put up a solid season even though most non-rotowhores don't know who he is. He'll put up mid-teen numbers in steals and homers along with decent runs and rbi totals. Also, he's projected for a .345 OBP. If you don't draft one of the elite second basemen, Forsythe is a good option for later in the draft. 

Shortstop: Jung-Ho Kang, Pittsburgh Pirates
I'm planning on drafting all kinds of players from the Far East this year, and Kang is on my fantasy radar. He's an excellent hitter with decent pop. Like Forsythe, he's projected for a .340ish OBP. He also qualifies at third base. 

Third Base: Maikel Franco, Philadelphia Phillies
In 80 games last season, he hit 14 home runs and had 50 rbi with an OBP of .343. Based on that track record, if he plays 150 games, he'll hit 26 home runs. One would expect him to hit for a lower average now that pitchers know his weaknesses, but I have on rose-colored glasses when viewing this guy. He has tremendous power. 

Outfield: Nori Aoki, Seattle Mariners
I've been high on this guy since he's been in the league. He's a late-round pick who can fill in at outfield when other guys are not playing. He'll get on base, steal an occasional bag, and score a good amount of runs.

Starting Pitcher: Jon Gray, Colorado Rockies
Yes, I'm featuring a Colorado pitcher. And no, I'm not drunk. He's expected to an "ace" by scouts across the league. He had a less than stellar season last year, but he is supposed to make a major step forward this season. The projections I'm using say he's going to have 4.02 ERA and a 1.33 WHIP, which isn't bad for a late-round pick. Heck, he might be the kind of player you could stream or just start on the road and only at home versus weak offenses. 

Relief Pitcher: Brad Ziegler, Arizona Diamondbacks
The pride of the Missouri State Bears had a great season last year. With an improved rotation and a burgeoning offense, the Snakes should be a stronger ball club. My only concerns would be that he's only been a closer for one season, and his 2014 season was atrocious ~ 8 blown saves. 

Fantasy Red Herrings

Below is the the fifth annual installment of my Fantasy Red Herrings post. Like I did in '14, '13, '12 and '11, I'm providing my usual intro before the good stuff...

Since I know some readers of this blog are my comrades who will draft players in our fantasy baseball league this Saturday, I thought I'd post about players that GMs might want to target for the upcoming season.

But my fellow GMs might think this document is simply a list of red herrings.

Maybe players on it are.

Maybe players on it aren't.

Regardless, here are players to target or low risk/high reward players for 2014. 

First Base: Kenys Vargas, Minnesota Twins
First base has always been a loaded position. Lots of good options out there. At first I wanted to feature Joey Votto since he and Jay Bruce totally screwed me over last year, but I'm going with a youngster. He yanked out 26 total home runs last year (9 in the majors), he hits for average, and his numbers in the minors show that he'll walk more often. Sure, he hits in a capacious ball park, but he might be someone to target late in the draft. 

Second Base: Neil Walker, Pittsburgh Pirates
Can this guy get any fantasy love? Walker had a great campaign last season with 23 homers and 76 RBI in what is one heck of weak position. He'll hit in the middle of the Pirates order and should provide a sound OBP (.360ish) for those of us in OBP leagues. 

Shortstop: Jean Segura, Milwaukee Brewers
When I went to the Pirates-Orioles spring training game, two dudes behind us sung the praises of J.J. Hardy ~ how he's a clutch hitter and a great fielder and all that. I'm not going to be influenced by those two guys because frankly one of them was drunk and creepy. Flippin' east coast people. 

So let's talk about Jean Segura. In 2013 he had a crazy-good first half and then went to crap. In 2014 he had 5 home runs and 20 stolen bases. With his speed, he should be hitting for a better average and be able to get all thievious [made-up word] on the base paths. 

Third Base: Trevor Plouffe, Minnesota Twins
Miguel Sano this. Miguel Sano that. If you were the Plouffester, wouldn't all the talk about Miguel Sano get annoying? Regardless of that stupid rhetorical question, [in Mongo voice] "Plouffe, he got power. He hit ball long way. Make Molitor happy. Drink beer in clubhouse." 

He also looks like he's a very happy man.

Even with poor luck (BABIP of .299 with a 21.4% line-drive rate) last year, he hit 24 home runs. He's someone to speculate on in your draft or monitor once the season gets going.


Outfield: Dalton Pompey, Toronto Blue Jays
There are a number of cheap-steals guys who can be had late in the draft. But I'm only picking one. Pompey could steal 30-50 bags even when hitting ninth. And he could provide double-digit homer potential. 

Catcher: Evan Gattis, Houston Astros
I usually punt catcher to later in the draft. There are a couple of intriguing options out there, but I'll focus on Gattis, who obviously has power and will likely reach 30 home runs this season because he'll play every day. 

Starting Pitcher: Matt Garza, Milwaukee Brewers
Garza's best days are probably behind him, but he is what he is. He'll provide a sub 1.30 WHIP and a high 3 ERA with double-digit wins. His declining strikeout rate over the past few years is a concern, but you'll be drafting this dude later in the draft when high-K pitchers are likely off the board. 

Reliever: Brett Cecil, Toronto Blue Jays

Cecil was just named closer. I'm concerned about his amount of walks, but with K/9 rates somewhere between 10 and 12 and ground-ball rates 50ish%, those are good metrics to be looking at. Also, he looks all nerdy-fierce with those glasses. 

Fantasy Red Herrings

Below is the the fourth annual installment of my Fantasy Red Herrings post. Like I did in '13, '12 and '11, I'm providing my usual intro before the good stuff...

Since I know some readers of this blog are my comrades who will draft players in our fantasy baseball league in March, I thought I'd post about players that GMs might want to target for the upcoming season.

But my fellow GMs might think this document is simply a list of red herrings.

Maybe players on it are.

Maybe players on it aren't.

Regardless, here are players to target or low risk/high reward players for 2014. 

First Base: Albert Pujols, Los Angeles Angels
I remember when Pujols signed with the Angels. Oh, weren't some of those Cardinals fans angry and upset. As I said back then and I'll say it again now, the Cardinals were smart not to sign him. He was going into a decline. In fact, it's been a steady decline since he cashed in. But injuries have been a factor. When I saw him play last year, he ran the bases like a constipated duck. A GM certainly isn't going to get the old Pujols, but if healthy, he'll provide above-average stats at a loaded position. That would normally be a compliment to most players, but for this dude, that's a serious fall from hall-of-fame play. 

Second Base: Jose Altuve, Houston Astros
How many Altuves does it take to win a fantasy baseball league? Just one if you get him at the right draft position. This vertically-challenged player doesn't provide power, but he's stolen over 30 bags each of the past two seasons and possesses an over 20% line-drive rate for his career (21.3% to be exact). I suspect the Astros offense will be improved from last year (how could it not?). More runs scored is a probable outcome.  

Shortstop: Starlin Castro, Chicago Cubs
When the staff attempted to "coach" Castro to be a more selective hitter and have a better OBP, it backfired. Classic Cubs. His numbers last year were atrocious. Just awful. Horrible. And his fielding stunk too. The hope is that a new manager will help get Castro's head and hitting right. You could buy this guy low as a bench player, and it might turn out well. With all manner of excellent prospects behind him, that could be motivation to excel this season. Or he could become the next Corey Patterson. 

Third Base: Aramis Ramirez, Milwaukee Brewers
He's a middle-of-the-order bat. The perennial question, however, is whether he can stay healthy. 

Catcher: Brian McCann, New York Yankees
A lot of rankings have this guy further down than I expected. Let's think about this. He's going to be playing in a hitters park with a short right porch. He's likely to DH from time to time and will be able to increase his counting stats because he's no longer playing in the NL. He's hit 20+ home runs in seven of the last eight seasons. Need I say more? 

Outfield: Khris Davis, Milwaukee Brewers
Where have all the power-hitting outfielders gone? Each year it seems like the fantasy pickings for OF get thinner and thinner on power. This guy has power, but one concern is how much he'll strike out. But Ks only count for pitchers in fantasy baseball. 

Starting Pitcher: R.A. Dickey, Toronto Blue Jays
Two seasons ago, this guy helped me win my league. He wasn't even drafted. I picked him up two weeks into the season. He cashed in that great season for a lucrative contract with the Blue Jays and had a poor season: 4.21 ERA and 1.24 WHIP. As WHIPs go though, 1.24 ain't bad, and it's more in line with his 2010 (2.84, 1.19) and 2011 (3.28, 1.23) numbers with the Mets. If you expect 2011ish numbers and draft appropriately, that seems good to me. 

Relief Pitcher: Sergio Santos, Toronto Blue Jays
I've been on this guy's bandwagon for years. Even if Janssen doesn't lose his job, last year Santos provided metrics you like to see: 9.82 K/9, 1.40 BB/9, and a 50% groundball rate. 

Fantasy Red Herrings

Here's the the third annual installment of my Fantasy Red Herrings post. Like I did in '12 and '11, I'm providing my usual intro before the good stuff...

Since I know some readers of this blog are my comrades who will draft players in our fantasy baseball league in March, I thought I'd post about players that GMs might want to target for the upcoming season.

But my fellow GMs might think this document is simply a list of red herrings.

Maybe players on it are.

Maybe players on it aren't.

Regardless, here are players to target or low risk/high reward players for 2013: 

First Base: What a loaded position. First base is usually the deepest position in fantasy baseball, and this season offers no exception. A lot fantasy pundits are puffing up the prospects of Goldschmidt, Rizzo, Freeman, and Edwin Encarnacion, a guy I picked two years in row for my Red Herring posts. I'm kickin' it old school with this pick: David Ortiz. That's right, Big Papi. He's not a first baseman by trade, but he qualifies as one. And that's all that matters. We can expect 30 HRs and an OBP around .380. He's a nice guy to select when your competitors have overlooked him because their draft magazines rank him low lower than they should have because he's a DH in reality, not fantasy. 

Second Base: It's not long ago that Chase Utley was a easy first round draft pick. He did everything well: high OBP, homers, rbi, runs, stolen bases. He's had a rough time of it the last few years, but last year's line drive rate of 21.4% and a .261 BABIP point toward a strong 2013 season if he stays healthy. If. A 20/20 season is probable.

Shortstop: Consider this profile. There's a strong player at a shallow position who plays half of his games in a hitter's ball park. He has speed. He can steal bases. As the position goes, his OBP is fine. And he's only 24. The only problem is that his manager continues to have him hit second in the order. Say hello to Elvis Andrus, everybody.  

Third Base: I'm a bargain hunter. I like finding good values. Mrs. Nasty calls me cheap, but I call myself frugal. Transition to fantasy baseball. I like finding good players on mediocre and bad and small market teams. If it would make sense, I'd love to have my roster full of Padres, Twins, Royals, Mariners, Mets, Cubs, Pirates, Marlins, Astros, Rockies, et al. Boy, my pitching staff would really stink, wouldn't it? But anyway, introducing Kyle Seager, the fellow who mans the hot corner for Seattle. He could produce 15 steals, 20some home runs, and decent rbi numbers this season. And he qualifies at second base. 

Outfielder: This one goes out to all the middle-aged men out there. Someone has to care about us. Like I still believe I can do the same things I did when I was in my twenties, I still believe in you, Ichiro. You may be 39. You may have lost a step. You may have an OBP that has plummeted over the last few years. But heck, dude, you hit .322 as a Yankee and .338 in Yankee Stadium last year. Runs scored and stolen bases were always your game. Expect at least mid-80s in runs and mid-30s in stolen bases this season. I still believe. 

Catcher: When I look at the choices at catcher this year, it's a surprisingly deep position. When Brian McCann, a guy in his walk year if I remember correctly, isn't even on most pre-draft top ten lists for catcher, something has changed. I have a hard time believing he's not going to have a good season this year. He's only 29 and will hit twentysome homers for your team. He's a nice pick if you're punting catcher to the later rounds on draft day. 

Starting Pitcher: If I could do it, I would stream every Padre starter when they start at Petco. I don't care if they're moving the fences in a bit. Take the case of Clayton Richard. Last season his ERA was 2.82 at home. His road ERA was 5.08.  

Closer: Picking a closer is like playing roulette. Even if you select a top tier dude, you never know. Bad odds. I'm picking Casey Janssen purely on the idea that the Blue Jays should be an improved ball club. Playing in the AL East will put them in close games, I think? But you have to be concerned about Sergio Santos happily lurking (below). If you pick Janssen, a handcuff is in order.  

Roster Tendencies

Just for the heck of it, I recently looked through the rosters of all of my fantasy baseball teams. I've been playing since '01, and it was interesting to remember what dudes I had representing my glorious franchise that started in Tuscaloosa, Alabama, moved to Valley Park, Missouri, moved again to South City, and now resides in Charleston, Illinois.

I noticed some patterns in my rosters. 

As much as some fantasy baseballers like to think they pick players based on projections and hard numbers, we all gravitate toward certain guys. Admit it. 

Of course, looking at the final rosters of all of my teams from '01 to '12 is a flawed methodology because it doesn't account for trades, who I actually drafted, etc., but going any deeper just seems like work. 

Regardless here are some patterns and tendencies I've observed. If the self-reflection is too much for you, then get your own blog, damn it. 

Here are guys I've had on my teams quite often:

• Roy Halladay
• Aramis Ramirez
• Adam Dunn

The first guy has been arguably the best pitcher in baseball for the last twelve years, and I love strong starting pitchers. Even though Halladay's last season was forgettable, he has been consistent in providing strong ERA and WHIP metrics complemented by high numbers in Ks and Wins. What's not to like about that?

And then there's Aramis Ramirez. My league is full of St. Louis Cardinals fans, so Aramis was usually undervalued on draft days. I got him at good value because he played for the Cubs. 

Sure, Adam Dunn strikes out a lot. Don't matter. Sure, Adam Dunn typically has a pathetic batting average. Don't matter. My league goes by OBP. Besides the dumpster fire of his '11 season, he'll hit high thirtysome homers and provide strong RBI numbers each season. 

Here are some other players I've also had on my rosters quite often:

• Brian Giles
• John Lieber
• Mike Mussina
• Jose Reyes
• John Smoltz
• Frank Francisco
• Matt Garza
• Zack Greinke
• Tommy Hanson

With Giles, he was great for a time when he played with the Pirates. He provided a strong OBP, and I had both Giles and Aramis in '01 when they batted third and fourth in that crappy order Pittsburgh rolled out. And both players earned rings, fantasy baseball rings that is. 

I always liked Lieber, and I could usually get him cheap on draft day. He didn't strike out a lot of people, but he provided solid WHIP numbers.

Mussina was a player I always liked to watch pitch, so when I got the chance, I tried to get him on my team. If I remember right, he had a pitch he called a "knuckle-curve." How awesome is that. 

I went through a couple of years ('05 and '06) where I had the SS position nailed down with Reyes there. That is an aberration for me because I usually run through shortstops on my teams because I tend to draft them late. For example, Pete Kozma earned a ring in '12. 

I had Smoltz on my team two or three times, and I remember a couple of drafts where people drafted him right before I wanted to. Solid and consistent, Smoltz was a great pitcher. 

I've had Francisco on my team a number of times, most vividly when he was a set-up man for Texas and when he played for Toronto. I believe in that dude for reason. 

I might as well lump Greinke, Garza, and Hanson together because they're starting pitchers. The first two typically go deep into games and have emotional issues. Hanson, on the other hand, has tremendous stuff but has had injury problems. I keep putting him on my team and thinking, "This is going to be the year." 

Random Notes from a Crank

Today I got my check for winning the fantasy baseball league I've been a member of since 2001, and the Commish of our league wrote this in the memo portion of the check--For: "Romney/Ryan '12." I laughed out loud at that when I saw it. I then proceeded to donate $44 to Obama/Biden and cashed the check this afternoon. 

#Romnesia

#horsesandbayonets

I can't say I'm confident about the President's chances, however. The polls in the swing states have tightened up considerably, especially in Ohio, which is crucial. I rarely think debates help or hurt candidates because the work on the ground is most important (ask John Kerry about what all his debate "wins" got him), but that first debate made Obama vulnerable. He shat his rhetorical bed in that one. 

Stay Positive: Glorious Victory

I started playing fantasy baseball back in 2001. In my rookie season as a GM, I won it all. 

Yesterday after an eleven-year drought, my squad, The Schlitzophrenics, won the private league I've been playing since '01. 

Here's a look at past years in the league to show the ups and downs and mediocrity of my GMing experience. 

• 2012: 1st, won by 3 points
• 2011: 5 of 14
• 2010: 7 of 14
• 2009: 7 of 13
• 2008: 7 of 15
• 2007: 3 of 20
• 2006: 7 of 19
• 2005: 9 of 17
• 2004: 16 of 17
• 2003: 7 of 19
• 2002: Yahoo doesn't have records of that league for some reason
• 2001: 1st, won by 1.5 points

Glorious victory.

Roll Schlitzophrenics Roll. 

Random Notes from a Crank

Sometimes when I'm at meetings, I can sense it coming. I get this visual image of a wave in the ocean starting to break, and I think "Rationalizations a-coming!" We're awash in them. 

One of the magazines I subscribe to, the magazine formerly known as Ode but now renamed The Intelligent Optimist, had a nice little editorial about the periodical's name change. The Editor-in-Chief, Jurriaan Kamp, relates what I find to be a productive and energizing frame of vision because I can tend toward pessimism and morose moods: "I argue that optimism -- intelligent, not mindless, optimism -- is the only realistic strategy for life. It is not going to prevent bad things from happening. On most days, more will go right than wrong; still, nobody can escape problems and setbacks. But the intelligent optimist accepts reality without immediately coming to a negative conclusion."

I keep thinking that my fantasy baseball team, The Schlitzophrenics, is going to collapse in the end (there's tonight and tomorrow left in the fantasy baseball regular season). I'm trying to be optimistic, but I'm a Cubs fan. We're used to heartbreak, pain, and suffering. 

Random Notes from a Crank

As I was driving the kids to daycare this morning, my eight-year old daughter asked me if she could go to the college in the town we live. After explaining to her that there are lots of colleges to choose from and you have to think about what your major and interests are and you have to think about what size and type of college you want to go to and how I think it's a good idea to go away to college to become more independent and then you need to go on college visits to see which colleges are right for you, my daughter made a snap judgment and decided she's going on three college visits: to the local college, to the University of Alabama, and to Ole Miss (where Mrs. Nasty got her Master's). My five-year son, on the other hand, related he doesn't need campus visits. He said, "I'm going to Alabama." The brainwashing starts early in the Nasty household, folks. Roll Tide.

After the discussion about scouting prospective colleges, we then discussed what kind of majors there are. My daughter is interested in Dance as a possible major, and she also says she likes science. I told her that Alabama had B.A. in Dance and that I had taught a Dance major when I taught there during my Ph.D. work. My daughter then was a bit puzzled because she said, "Wow, she couldn't have been that good." I caught her meaning and informed her that I didn't teach her how to dance. Rather, I taught her in one of my classes but that she was only a Dance major. Then she said, "Oh, I was confused. I see. But if you would have taught her dance, she wouldn't have learned much because you're not a good dancer."

We have the Encore channels via DirectTV. I've noticed late at night that there's usually a James Bond film on. I caught part of an old one last night, and I got to thinking: If someone ever makes a movie of my life, I want an underwater fight scene in it. I've neither fought anyone underwater nor had an opportunity to do so, but I want one of those fight scenes in the movie of my life.

Today is one of my favorite sports days. It was the date of the MLB trading deadline. As I was working on a document this afternoon, I had the pleasure of watching the MLB Network inform viewers of the trades going down. As expected, the Cubs were sellers with Soto going to the Rangers along with Johnson and Maholm going to the Braves yesterday. Today it came down to the wire with Dempster, and he got sent to the Rangers right at the deadline. As related to my rotowhorishness, Greinke went to the Angels, I grabbed Victorino because he's headed to the Dodgers and I need steals as two of my heavy hitters (Ortiz and Bautista) are on the DL, and I picked up Holland because he appears to the be the likely closer for the Royals.

Today is also the 13th wedding anniversary of the Nastys. Good times were had that day and have been had since.

Random Notes from a Crank

My daughter came home a couple of days ago talking excitedly about how they're learning about fables in her second grade class. She began lecturing us on the major components of a fable: the characters are animals, there needs to be at least two of them, often there's a problem and a solution, there's a moral to the story, and so on. She says she's going to write her own fable called "The Fox and the Chipmunk." Last night on our ride back home from dance practice, I told her that maybe we could both write fables and then compare them. Mine might be titled "The Grouchy Turtle, The Wolverine, & The Blue Jay." I'm thinking about starting it out this way: "A turtle, a wolverine, and a blue jay walk into a bar..."

That reminds me of one of my favorite tales by Twain: "Jim Baker's Blue-Jay Yarn." Some people think the tale reflects Twain's experience about how he wasn't humorous at all at an event for Whittier's 70th birthday. He told a story about Longfellow, Oliver Wendell Holmes, and Emerson being drunk at a miner's cabin, and the tale went over like a lead balloon. I tend to think the tale is a commentary on human nature, however.

Writing a fable might be a way for me to start her overt rhetorical education since that genre is the first part of the fourteen part gauntlet of the progymnasmata from classical rhetoric. Maybe something to start this summer ... her summer school. Vituperation could get nasty though. But as the Roman educator Quintilian said, I aim to help her become "a good person speaking/writing well."

There are a couple of meetings I go to regularly at work where what I like to call "administrative-speak" is fully displayed. At least they're not throwing around the despicable, horrible word "incentivize," but I am sure tired of "leverage" being used as a verb. All kinds of stuff is always needing to get "leveraged." We need to do this to "leverage" that. We need to think how to "leverage" this or that in the future. And so on. LEVERAGE... Leverage... leverage. So "leverage" might be the new "incentivize" (the "new black"). And I hate it. Then I read this one very expensive report where a consultant recommended that we need to "incent" people. That @#$% might be even worse than the overuse of leverage. And while we're at it, we also need to "streamline efficiencies."

Because we had a freakishly warm March like much of the US, I got sucked into buying three bell pepper plants and a Poblano pepper plant. It has been cold here in East Central Illinois recently, and now I think those plants are dead. I was in the garden watering this afternoon, and they didn't look good at all. Damn you Rural King for having them available and damn me for having a false sense of security.

Today I had both of the starting pitchers in the Brewers-Cubs game going on my fantasy game. Greinke got shelled. Garza almost pitched a complete game shutout. Bitter. Sweet.

Fantasy Red Herrings

Since I know some readers of this blog are my comrades who will draft players in our fantasy baseball league next Saturday, I thought I'd return to a post about players that GMs might want to target for the upcoming season.

But my fellow GMs might think this document is simply a list of red herrings.

Maybe players on it are.

Maybe players on it aren't.

Regardless, here are players to target or low risk/high reward players for 2012.


First Base: Edwin Encarnacion, Toronto Blue Jays
He was on the Fantasy Red Herrings post a year ago. You can't hold a good Edwin down. The Jays didn't acquire anyone to take his spot in the lineup in the off season, so he'll fill in at first base and play mostly DH. Oh, and by the way, he also qualifies at 3B.


Second Base: Aaron Hill, Arizona Diamondbacks
In 2009 he hit 36 home runs and had 108 rbi. Then there were steep declines in production in '10 and '11, and he got shipped off to the land of cacti and retirees. His numbers with the D'backs in '11 was the following: 33 games played, 23 runs, 2 home runs, 16 rbi, 5 stolen bases, and an OBP of .386. Getting out the AL East will certainly help him, and that OBP is very surprising. He won't sustain that number in '12, but it's plausible Hill reverts to his mediocre OBP from '09, .330.


Shortstop: Jason Bartlett, San Diego Padres
See Aaron Hill's story above. Well, sort of. Bartlett had a solid '09 campaign, a wretched '10 season, and rebounded a bit in '11 with the Fathers. He's a decent pick in the late rounds if you didn't get a solid SS earlier in the draft.


Third Base: Chone Figgins, Seattle Mariners
This little fellow has .215 BABIP last year when the average BABIP in MLB was somewhere around .290 or so. Since Ichiro hit leadoff, they asked Figgins to hit in a spot in the lineup he's not comfortable with. This year Ichiro will hit in the three spot for the first time in his career with Figgins going back to leading off. That bodes well. 


Catcher: Russell Martin, New York Yankees
For the first time in a while, I had a Yankee on my team last year, and it was a guy who had a career year, Curtis Granderson. It's not that I have a prejudice against drafting Yankees, it's just that usually the ones I want are taken before I can select them. Martin, if I remember right, is a free agent after this year, and he plays half of his games in Yankee Stadium. Sounds like a career year to me. Remember how Jose Reyes did in his walk year? 


Outfield: Carlos Quentin, San Diego Padres
I know. I know. He's going to play half of his games in Petco where power hitters go to get psyched out. All of the other GMs know this, so they don't want to select him. You select him in a late round, he stays healthy for most of the year, and knocks maybe 20 home runs over the season for a paltry draft investment. Best case scenario, yes. But you never know.


Starting Pitcher: Ryan Dempster, Chicago Cubs
The projections I'm using predict these numbers for him for '12: 187Ks, 4.08 ERA, 1.36 WHIP. Whoever had him on their teams last year got abused by some of those horrible, horrible outings. Just brutal really. But the guy still provides solid K numbers as he has throughout his career. 


Relief Pitcher: Sean Marshall, Cincinnati Reds
To this day, I think Marshall never got a fair shot at being a starting pitcher with the Cubs. My hypothesis is that he slept with or insulted Piniella's wife early in his career in Chicago. Nevertheless, he has turned out to be a solid relief pitcher and could slip into the closer's job if Madson implodes.