Music Friday: "Been Away Too Long" & "Rowing"

I finally was able to listen to a couple of new CDs after we got back from our Thanksgiving trip and picked up the mail. 

One of those new CDs was Soundgarden's King Animal. I've been waiting for an album from those dudes for over a decade. 

This album is definitely making it into the top ten of my Top Ten/Twenty Albums of 2012 post that will happen in late December. In fact, the album will probably be placed somewhere in the top five. 

Today I offer the first and last song off of King Animal: "Been Away Too Long" and "Rowing." 

Random Notes from a Crank

On Monday evening when I picked up my daughter from dance class, I observed a simple conversation between two people who were also there to pick up their daughters. I happened to notice as one speaker asked a question and the other replied and the conversation went on for a bit that they never looked each other in the eyes. They talked to each other as they stared at their iPhones. No eye contact -- just talking while looking at their phones. I don't even think they knew they were doing it, and I'm not sure if they would care if they knew. 

Also on Monday, I had to deal with a tremendous headache. I don't know whether the headache stems from going back to work after the holiday or because I'm somehow mimicking what I've been reading about Thomas Jefferson, who suffered from debilitating migraines. 

And after reading about the various accounts of what Aaron Burr might have been up to after he lost the presidential election and killed Alexander Hamilton, I had to order David O. Stewart's American Emperor: Aaron Burr's Challenge to Jefferson's America. But I'm also wondering if there's ever been some "what if?" fiction written about Aaron Burr winning the 1800 election or being successful with whatever he intended to do in New Orleans or Texas or Mexico or elsewhere around 1807 and 1808. Someone could write some serious dystopian historical fiction if they wanted to. If you do take this idea and run with it, you owe me. 

Random Notes from a Crank

After driving from Venice, Florida to Nashville on Friday, it's clear to me that both Florida and Georgia are very long states. Call me Captain Obvious. 

On the drive through Florida and Georgia, I was surprised how many billboards there were on I-75. I've haven't driven much on major interstates on the East Coast, so I don't have a lot of exposure to them, but there were billboards everywhere -- just constant.

A particular billboard I had to suffer through was one advertising a gentleman's club somewhere in the Atlanta area with this simple message: "STRIPPERS. Need we say more?" Thank the Gods that my nine-year daughter was watching movies and reading books because I really didn't want to field the question of "Daddy, what's a stripper?" If posed with that question, I think I'll redirect it with a statement such as "Well, maybe Mommy can explain that." You've been warned, Mrs. Nasty. 

To occasionally counterbalance the stripper advertising, there were assorted religious billboards, which got me thinking...

Why not combine the two?: Pole dancing for Jesus. Read the opinion piece and watch the video. Believe!  

Then I did a simple web search with the search term "Strippers for Jesus." I found all kinds of stuff, including a documentary about the "Pussycat Preacher." 

It appears this kooky idea has already been taken. 

Another big billboard I saw a lot of over a stretch of road was advertising for a gas station named Magnolia Plantation. I suspect they don't get a ton of African-Americans customers with that name since I suspect many folks aren't interested in going to a place called a plantation. Just sayin'.

Since the presidential election is now behind us, I also wondered whether all the blank billboards I saw were from the political ads that harassed stalked blanketed Florida. I noticed a few political billboards here and there about how the sky is going to fall if Obama gets reelected, but not a ton. 

Sunday Hangover: Auburn

The Tide scored seven touchdowns on the first seven drives. Auburn's spirit seemed broken after the second touchdown, and it was pretty much over after the third touchdown. 

Even though it was another shut out and another game where Alabama won 49 to 0, here are two negatives from the game:

• Kenny Bell broke his tibia and will be out the rest of the season. That stinks. Bell is one of the major deep threats on the team and is a consistent producer. With him now out and also DeAndrew White still out for the season because of a knee injury from earlier in the season, that makes Alabama down two starters at the wide receiver position. Amari Cooper has obviously stepped up to be a starter, but Cyrus Jones and Marvin Shinn need to try to fill the void by Bell's injury. That will be difficult. Jones is a freshman, and Shinn is a redshirt freshman.
• The Tide usually only rushed four on passing downs, and they didn't get much pressure on the quarterback on a consistent basis. I hope that changes against Georgia in the SEC Championship. 

And Georgia is on the mind of Tide fans because Alabama will face the Bulldogs in the Georgia Dome on Saturday. 

While Georgia has been a national power for some time under Head Coach Mark Richt, they haven't ever been in the position to play in the BCS National Championship game. Alabama has been there before of course, and I would imagine the Tide will be favored against Georgia, but I'm worried as usual. 

Georgia is playing really well. They have a strong running attack, a solid defense, and a veteran quarterback. 

Their only blemish on the season is the woodshedding they got in Columbia from the South Carolina Gamecocks. I hope the Tide will learn from watching that game tape. 

Pre-Emptive Music Friday: "You Are a Tourist," "Title and Registration," & "Crooked Teeth"

We're driving back to Illinois on Friday and Saturday. Tomorrow we plan to go from Venice to south of Nashville. On Saturday we'll make the rest of the drive to east central Illinois. 

When I drive, the kids watch movies and read books, and Mrs. Nasty reads and listens to books. I listen to lots of music while driving, and I plan to check out the new album, Handwritten, from Gaslight Anthem on the drive up, but I mostly put my iPod on shuffle. 

But as we all know, there are certain bands that are good to listen to while driving. 

I offer these tunes from Death Cab for Cutie because they're good driving songs. 











I got into Death Cab for Cutie way late. It wasn't until I got sucked into the collaboration between Jay Farrar and Ben Gibbard for the soundtrack for the Kerouac movie: One Fast Move or I'm Gone: Kerouac's Big Sur that I got intrigued by Gibbard's voice. 

I'll also be listening to One Fast Move or I'm Gone on the way up. 

Stay Positive: Biographies

I've gotten into biographies again. This week I finished Joe Klein's Woody Guthrie: A Life, which by most critics' accounts appears to be the definitive biography of that troubled bard. I've always enjoyed his lyrics, but I had little knowledge about his life story. He was a typical example of the genius type who people quickly recognized as a powerful artist, but God he was a horrible father and husband. 

One quotation from Guthrie that Klein uses at an opportune time in the book is this one: "A man's most basic character, most basic wants, hopes, and needs come out of him in words that are poems and explosions." 

Now I'm on to Jon Meacham's Thomas Jefferson: The Art of Power. While I'm only about a third of the way through the book, I wish Meacham would have provided more details about his work in the Virginia House of Burgesses and his ill-fated tenure as Governor of Virginia, but I realize that the author only wrote a one-volume biography. If he gave me the kind of detail I'm hankering for, I would probably need to read a multiple-volume biography of Jefferson. 

As founding fathers go, I've always been drawn to Jefferson. Over a decade ago, I read the entire Notes on the State of Virginia and selected letters in a large volume edition that collected a big chunk of Jefferson's writing. I've found it interesting how people from various political stripes interpret Jefferson how they want to interpret him. 

For the left, he's a protector of individual freedoms, especially his various statements that lean toward a strict separation between church and state. He valued reason above everything else, a man of the Enlightenment to his bones. As he wrote his nephew, "Fix reason firmly in her seat, and call to her tribunal every fact, every opinion. Question with boldness even the existence of a God; because, if there be one, he must more approve the homage of reason, than that of blindfolded fear" (qtd in Meacham p. 169). Since Jefferson was essentially a deist, he was friendly with Thomas Paine after that fellow published The Age of Reason, a book that showed Paine as an apostate. 

As much as folks today take umbrage that Jefferson owned slaves, considering that he was part of the wealthy planter class in Virginia in the 18th century, I think it's highly improbable that he wouldn't have owned slaves considering his position and means of wealth. It's not like he tried, as a Virginian no less, to root out slavery through various moves early on in his political career, all moves that didn't work at all. In 1769 in the House of Burgesses, he tried to make it legal for individual slave owners to be able to free slaves. They put the kibosh on that idea quickly. He also tried to persuade leaders for gradual emancipation and deportation back to Africa (an idea Lincoln considered heavily if I remember right), which was a very progressive position for its time, but that didn't happen. Of course, if anyone has read the early drafts of the Declaration of the Independence, he didn't have good things to say about the peculiar institution of slavery and slave owning (and also made similar statements in Notes on the State of Virginia) and laid the blame on England and George III. They cut all that out of the Declaration, of course. Later on he fully supported the Ordinance of 1784, which would have terminated the expansion of slavery into new US territories, but the bill didn't pass because a Congressman from New Jersey didn't vote because he was sick.  

Of course, there's his relationship with Sally Hemings that we can mostly speculate about. And it's a shame we don't know more about it. Jefferson burned a great deal of the  correspondence between him and his wife, so it's no surprise historians don't have much to go on about the Jefferson-Sally Hemings relationship other than that she traveled with him to France and back and all that DNA evidence. But there's also the creepy fact that Sally Hemings was his wife's half-sister. I'd have to drink a lot of Madeira wine, Jefferson's favorite, to make that seem right. Even with such lubrication, I still don't think it would. 

With all that out of the way though, I'm looking forward to reading about his work and arguments with Hamilton during Washington's presidency, his disputes with his friend John Adams (who was painted a little more positively than he deserved in the HBO series for my liking), and his trials and tribulations as President. 

Vote Jefferson in 1800. 

Sunday Hangover: Western Carolina

When I woke up this morning in a hotel in Montgomery, Mrs. Nasty informed me that both Oregon and K State lost last night. 

That makes yesterday's victory all the more sweet. 

If you've been following my Sunday Hangover posts, you knew the Nasty family trekked down to TTown to watch the Crimson Tide play the mighty Catamounts of Western Carolina.

It was a good time. Even though are seats were in upper reaches of the north end zone, we could still see the game pretty well, and we hadn't been at the Capstone since '02. Pictures were taken with the Bryant and Saban statues. Memories were brought up. Roll Tides were voiced. 

The only major downer to the trip was seeing the Cedar Crest neighborhood where our old apartment once stood. Even though it's been approximately a year and a half since the tornado, that area is still mostly a blank slate. We drove there to survey it, and the sight was sobering. 

Next up is the Iron Bowl, Auburn's season this year. If the Tide wins, they win the West. One game at a damn time. 

Music Friday: "Holiday,"

I've featured the work of James McMurtry before on Music Fridays. 

Today's song takes an acerbic look at Thanksgiving. And as I stated when I featured Choctaw Bingo last year, "Dark realism rarely sells." 

"Holiday" is certainly dark and realistic, and I've provided the lyrics below the video.  





Holiday by James McMurtry
The in-laws are waiting; the games have begun.
The cell phone keeps ringing: “Just don’t answer it hon.”
The whole thing’s arranged just to aggravate Dad.
And it’s amateur day on the old super slab.
The kids are strapped down like a half load of pipe,
All safe in their car seats they fuss and they gripe.
Well, you can’t hardly blame ‘em. 
It must be a bitch, counting the crosses off down in the ditch.
This one’s got flowers, this one’s got a wreath,
This one’s got a name painted down underneath.
Was the road all iced up, were they going too fast?
Here’s five in a circle left from the last holiday.

Holiday.

There’s a three-trailer rig just a throwin’ up spray,
Not legal to run on this kind of a day.
But god damn the smokies and the four wheelers too.
Stay offa my bumpers, or the same goes for you.
Because they'll be none for him,
He that wants it the most
As he hauls it on out to the Oregon coast.
No turkey, no gravy, no Zinfandel wine,
You stay off to the right, and we’ll get along fine.
He’s missing the football, missing the fun.
He’d play with the grandkids, but he’s off on a run.
And some hat’s on the radio singing his song.
But it don’t make a damn--
He’s in for a long holiday.

Holiday.

Now granny she’s yelling,
She’s ready to eat.
She’s havin’ conniptions
‘Cause they won’t take their seats.
But she’s got ‘em all gathered now under one roof.
With her camcorder loaded,
She’s gonna get proof.
But do you have to wear that,
Well I just don’t see why,
Please pass the potatoes,
Aw eat shit and die,
Did you hear about Ellen, she’s leaving, you know
How ‘bout those Packers, think it’ll snow?
And the minute it’s over they’ll scatter like quail
Off down the freeway in the teeth of a gale.
Silent and shattered and numb to the core,
They count themselves lucky
They got through one more holiday.

Holiday.

The highway patrolman,
He stands in the rain.
He just lets it run down to soften the stain
Of the blood on his pant leg
From working that wreck.
And he won’t forget it
In time for the next holiday.

Departing Chicago at 9:52
In clean desert camo, all baggy and loose,
Sits an Iowa Guardsman alone by the gate.
The place sure looked different in 1968.

When he traveled with mom, first time on a plane,
To visit some kin, he’s forgotten their names,
But he remembers the soldiers, still in their teens
In their spit polished shoes and their pressed army greens,
With the creases so sharp, and their faces so smooth,
But their eyes looked so heavy, he wondered how they could move.
And now he’s got that same look, like his insides are black.
He’s in his mid-forties, and he has to go back.
And he can’t even smoke while he waits for his plane.
The uniform’s different, but the mission remains:
To do like they tell you, don’t make a fuss,
Why’s not an issue, so don’t think too much,
You just do what you have to, shut up and drive.
If you come apart later, well at least you’re alive.
You can get you some help, you can deal with it then,
And life will be better ‘til it happens again

‘Cause there’s something inside us that won’t let us be.
It stalks through our days ‘til it’s too dark to see.
And it’s damn near as deadly as Texans on ice.
Lord don’t they beat all.
Y’all have a nice holiday

Holiday. 

Random Notes from a Crank

Last night after Family Reading Night at my daughter's school, I had to stop by the grocery store to pick up some milk. I don't know how this started, but somehow I got the idea of walking like Shaggy (from the Scooby-Doo cartoon) about the aisles of the supermarket and encouraging my kids to the do the same. It brought big laughs from my two kids, and my youngest -- the five-year old -- really looks funny when doing it. My daughter, on the other hand, mainly just laughed and said I was embarrassing her. Then she noted I needed to do these things around Mrs. Nasty, so I can embarrass her too. Duly noted. I probably need to brush up on Monty Python's "Ministry of Silly Walks" if I'm going to do it right, however.  I need a research fellowship.





And that sketch reminds me of this one. Go Greeks!

Sunday Hangover: Texas A&M

If you read last week's hangover post, I closed it with my worries about A&M.

In the upset victory yesterday, we witnessed what I consider as one of the worst quarters of football I've seen played by the Crimson Tide under Saban's tenure. The only quarter that rivals it would be the bowl game debacle vs. Utah in '08. 

Considering the Tide was down 0 to 20 at the end of the first quarter and Alabama turned the ball over three times, it was a wonder the Tide still had a chance to win the game at the end. Then the stupid offsides penalty after the defense fought its ass off to make them go three-and-out. 

Despite the stupid interception and stupid play call on fourth down late in the game and despite the fumble by Yeldon and despite McCarron underthrowing both Cooper and Bell on long passes that might have been touchdowns, the Tide was still in it. 

Little solace. 

We'll see where Alabama ends up in the BCS standings today, but the bottom line is the Tide needs to beat Auburn in two weeks and then beat Georgia in the SEC Championship to have a shot at a BCS bowl.

I'm sure the talking heads at ESPN will relate that Alabama still has a chance at getting in the national championship. But that actually happening is contingent on a lot of ifs, which I've provide below:

• If Oregon loses to either Stanford or Oregon State
• If Kansas State loses to either Baylor or Texas
• If Notre Dame loses to either Wake Forest or USC

From my perspective, I don't see Oregon losing even thought they have the two toughest games of the unbeatens. 

I don't see K State losing to either of those teams. Maybe Texas, but I doubt it. 

Notre Dame won't lose to Wake, but I think there's a good possibility USC will beat them. 

Nevertheless, next up for Alabama are the Catamounts of Western Carolina. You can expect the next Sunday Hangover post to be up very late on Sunday or possibly even on Monday because we're going to the game.

On Friday we will travel to all the way from IL to Alabama and then go to the game on Saturday, which starts at the godforsaken time of 11:21 am. 

Mrs. Nasty and I haven't been back to Tuscaloosa since we left after I graduated in '02. We're really looking forward to it even though I'm sure the mood around campus will be morose because of yesterday's loss. 

When I left '02, Bryant-Denny only held 80some thousand fans. Since then they added upper decks to the south and north end zones, and seating capacity is somewhere over 101,000. 

Roll Tide anyway. 

Music Friday: "Hymn #76, "Ours," & "Atlantic City"

I featured the title track of Joe Pug's new album on a Music Friday right around when the album dropped.

Today I'm featuring a couple of others from The Great Despiser because it's a fine album. When I make up my post about the Top Ten/Twenty Albums of 2012, we'll see if Mr. Pug makes the top ten. 

His opus is a contender. 

Anyway, today you get the opening track of the new album, "Hymn #76," and "Ours." And then there's Pug and Justin Townes Earle covering Springsteen's "Atlantic City." 

Post-Election Day Thoughts

Tuesday came and went, and Barack Obama is still President of the United States. I was a bit fearful about yesterday, but because I've been following the trends in the battleground states and the betting odds on the presidential election on Ladbrokes, Obama winning wasn't a surprise. Vegas is usually right. 

I read an article a couple of days ago about what to look for early in the presidential election, and the author related that what happens in Virginia will be a good indication of how the presidential election with shake out. For a long time Romney held the Commonwealth, but Obama progressively ate away at his lead and then eventually overtook him. Florida is still in the "leaning Obama" column, so we'll see that result hopefully quite soon. 

The surprises and pleasing outcomes to me were the Dems gaining or reaffirming US Senate seats, especially the triumphs of McCaskill (MO), Warren (MA), Nelson (FL), Donnelly (IN), Tester (MT), Brown (OH), Kaine (VA), and Baldwin (WI). And the race isn't called in North Dakota yet.

As I listened to NPR Morning Edition this morning, they had had some strategists on talking about how Obama didn't do as well with "white voters" as he did in 2008. That may be true in some states I guess, but I'm curious how that assertion holds up in Ohio, especially with blue collar workers connected to the auto industry. I'm sure Romney regrets writing "Let Detroit Go Bankrupt." 

But I find the depiction of white voters to be dumb as hell because, you know, we white people, we're all the same. 

You could say the same about the Latino vote, but there's something to said about that demographic, however, which is one of Chris Cillizza's five points this morning in "What the 2012 Election Taught Us." Like Cillizza, I don't think Latino voters flocked to Obama because he's a minority. It's the policies, stupid. 

In connection to the "The Fix" article, for a long time, Missouri has been often called a bellwether state for presidential elections. That might not be the case anymore. Of course, the big indicator states are Ohio and Florida, but we might want to add Virginia, North Carolina, Colorado, and Nevada to that list. 

During the night, I checked out what the talking heads were saying on various networks. FoxNews was painting Romney to be the victim of "big-money attacks ads" even though there were all kinds of Citizens United-induced money running all manner of crap ads against the President. Over on MSNBC, Maddow seemed to be a voice of reason among the left-leaning rabble assembled sans the lone GOP dude who rarely gets to talk. On both that channel and NBC News, Chuck Todd played with maps and showed why the projections for Ohio were right and how Florida might tip Obama's way because of Broward and Miami-Dade even though Santa Rosa in the pandhandle went 76% Romney. 

Since the election is over, I along with many others are already thinking about the possible candidates for the 2016 Presidential Election. The Wall Street Journal has an interactive display of possible Democratic candidates that's helpful. Although I've always liked Hillary, those choices aren't electrifying. I've love to see a Southern Democrat as the headliner on the ticket, but no one of that description comes to mind right now. Check out all those blue states in the 1996 election. Clinton won handily without Virginia and North Carolina. 

As for the GOP, considering Lindsey Graham's (SC) recent remarks, it'll be interesting what happens. There could be a bigger rift happening between the old fashioned conservatives and the tea party folks. Regardless, my usual suspects for the ticket are Jeb Bush (groan), Chris Christie, Paul Ryan, and Marco Rubio, but Yahoo has an article on the top ten contenders right now if you're interested. If you're a Democrat and you're thinking strategically, you should be scared of Bush and Christie. At least that's my take. 

Random Notes from a Crank

I've had John Brereton's The Origins of Composition Studies in the American College, 1875-1925: A Documentary History for a long time, and I finally got around to reading it the other day. I usually enjoy examining writing from the 19th century because it's fun to read an older style of writing. I was reading a report by Adams Sherman Hill, and here's a passage that demands attention: "Awkward attitudes, ungrammatical or obscure sentences, provincial or vulgar locutions, fanciful analogies, far-fetched illustrations, ingenious sophisms, pettifogging subtleties, ineffective arrangement--all come in for animadversion; and corresponding merits for praise." It reads exactly as you would expect the Boylston Professor of Rhetoric and Oratory at Harvard to write, but I like the word pettifogging, which is a derivation of pettifogger, defined by the American Heritage Dictionary as a "petty, quibbling, unscrupulous lawyer" or "one who quibbles over trivia." I want to work that word into my vocabulary, and I may get a chance soon since tomorrow is Election Day.

I recently read "Ecosystems on the Brink" by Carl Zimmer in Scientific American. SA only gives you a preview unless you're a subscriber, but the upshot is that researchers are using mathematical models and empirical research to create early warning systems to try to stop ecosystems from crashing. The research is interesting and important, but what I'm more concerned about is whether homo sapiens really gives a damn about the environment and if  we're willing to actually do something about tipping points and the results of data-driven, scientific research. 

Sunday Hangover: LSU

Last night was probably the worst game Alabama has played all season. Yet the Crimson Tide won versus an amped-up and revenge-seeking LSU squad. 

In Baton Rouge. At night.  

The Tigers dominated the game. Check out these statistics, Alabama compared to LSU:

• First Downs: 18 to 22
• Net Yards Passing: 165 to 296
• Total Offensive Yards: 331 to 435
• Fumbles Lost: 2 to 0
• Third Down Conversions: 1 of 9 to 10 of 20
• Total Offensive Plays: 52 to 85
• Time of Possession: 20:45 to 39:15

The last three bullet points are the most telling of the game. The Tide defense was on the field a long time. Way too long. It couldn't get off the field. 

LSU's somewhat maligned quarterback had a career day. He slinged it around with accuracy and did so often on third and long. It was really freakin' annoying. 

The major turning point was when Alabama was driving in the game, about to either make a touchdown or at least get a field goal, when McCarron didn't hand the ball off the Yeldon right, and Yeldon fumbled the ball. 

I don't know about Mrs. Nasty at that time, but I know I was going starting to go through Kubler-Ross's stages of grief: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. 

At the point in the game when LSU had scored two straight touchdowns in the second half, I was certainly in the depression stage and veering toward acceptance that Alabama had been out-played, out-coached, out-hustled, and out-muscled. And out of the national title hunt. 

Then the Tide got the ball back with under two minutes to play in the game. McCarron finally got his @#$% together; he threw four straight passes to Kevin Norwood (LSU fans might remember him from the BCS title game), one of which was an incompletion in the end zone; and then McCarron dumped off an exquisite screen pass to Yeldon for the game-winning touchdown with less than one minute left. 

Victory in Death Valley. 

I can still bounce back to the anger stage though. I could talk about how our best defensive player--C. J. Mosley--was not on the field enough, or I could talk about the poor play of our safeties, or I could talk about our ineffective blitzes, or I could complain about the offensive play calling and numerous three-and-outs, or I could talk about how this game was the first game where Alabama gave up over 100 yards on the ground (139), or I could write about some other stuff. But I'll not go into details about all that here. 

Let's enjoy the victory. 

Last night's game was one of those games I hated watching, but I'll enjoy thinking about it in the future. 

Considering Alabama's poor play last night, the Crimson Tide better get it together against Texas A&M next Saturday in Bryant-Denny. That team, in my opinion, is the best two-loss team in the nation and probably better than some undefeated and one-loss teams out there. 

Music Friday: "Ain't Messin' 'Round"

I featured some tunes from Gary Clark Jr. almost a month ago. Since I got the new album, I've been playing it quite a bit. 

Today I'm providing the lead track from Blak and Blu. 

When I saw him perform this on a late night talk show, he had horns with him like the song on the album has. The performance below is a stripped down version of the tune. 





The review in Rolling Stone about the album is somewhat accurate. If memory serves, the reviewer's thesis lauded the album but also called it "uneven." 

I like to think that Mr. Clark is trying to show his range on the disc, but there are a couple of songs where I think, "I don't know if this tune is working for me with the other blues-influenced and guitar-oriented songs."

Regardless, don't mess around at having a good weekend. 

Random Notes from a Crank

This morning I walked to work after dropping off Mrs. Nasty's car to get an oil change and new tires. As I was nearing the building where I work, there were dudes taking care of the leaves. It's fall and all. One of the guys working was a clearly out of shape individual smoking a cigarette while he operated a gas-powered leaf blower. That was quite a picture to behold. I'm a well known hater of leaf blowers because of their pollution-spewing motors and noise, but the image of that dude makes my hatred of them even richer. 

Recently my five-year old son told me that I needed to get an iPhone like Mrs. Nasty. The conversation went like this: 

• Son: Dad, you need to get an iPhone like Mommy.
• Me: Why, so you can play games on it?
• Son: Yes.

I'm still rockin' a flip phone and don't plan to get a smart phone anytime soon. Why do I need to be that connected anyway? I don't want to be like those people I see all around me who are always staring down at their phones and texting God knows what. Get your heads up, people, pay attention and take in what's going in the world, not your stupid-ass phone. Quintilian B. Nasty no text.