Cricker Crack?

In the June issue of Harper's, the editors provide a listing titled "Crystal Metaphors." As is the nature of the magazine, they publish some interesting artifacts that they glean from various sources like governmental agencies, court transcripts, et al.

So "Crystal Metaphors" is "[f]rom a list of slang words for methamphetamine, collected by the Utah Attorney General's Office and posted on its website."

The list is both appalling and darkly humorous that this horrible drug has inspired so many different nicknames, but one that is isn't featured is "Cricker Crack," which was/is? a term for it in the Northeast Missouri since people, "Crickers" who presumably live by "cricks" (creeks) out in the country, use it as their crack.

The common name for this crap is "crank" of course, but here's a partial list of terms that I thought readers might find interesting: buzzard dust, Devil's dandruff, dummy dust, gumption, high-speed chicken feed, pootananny, rumdumb, shiznastica, Smurf dope, spun ducky woo, and yammer bammer.

Of those terms, I think I like gumption and Smurf dope the best.

For an even more extensive list from someone else, click HERE if you're interested in how people play with the language of addiction. Still no Cricker Crack though.

Smurf dope has also inspired some pretty darn good songs too since that crap has devastated countless communities. "Methamphetamine" by Son Volt, "You and Your Crystal Meth" by Drive-By Truckers, and "Methamphetamine" by Old Crow Medicine Show come to mind.