Monday, February 27, 2017

Stay Positive: Wine without Arsenic

There's a disturbing article out about a lawsuit about a great many California wines that have high arsenic levels. Check out "List of Wines Cited in Lawsuit as Having High Arsenic Levels." 

Thankfully the only brand of those wines I've had are dark wines put out by Menage A Trois  and Corbett Canyon. 

Wild Irish Rose is no surprise. That crap is horrible. I used to sell that stuff all the time to winos when I worked at my dad's liquor store. The list also reminded me of one night my fraternity brothers had a "Cisco Night" that turned out horribly for them. 

The Urban Dictionary definition of Cisco is worth a read. Here are two of my favorite lines: 

  • "It is in the family with the common street wine Wild Irish Rose - except WIR would be a newborn baby and Cisco is the abusive step-father with boundary issues. "
  • "The hangover that can result from Cisco is the equivalent of sticking your head up the ass of a Kentucky Derby horse in full sprint and being ejected into a brick wall all while undergoing Chemotherapy treatments that could kill an elephant."

  • "Often, people on a Cisco binge end up curled into a fetal ball, shuddering and muttering paranoid rants.  Nudity and violence may well be involved too."  
  • "Our research shows that Cisco is actually the second best tasting of the five great bum wines, especially if you're having one of those hankerings for cheap Vodka, Jello and Robitussin."  
  • "A test subject reports, 'Strawberry Cisco has a bouquet similar to that of Frankenberry cereal fermented in wine cooler with added sprinkle of brandy for presentation.'"

So here's to enjoying wine without arsenic. Let's stay positive folks. 


Stephanie said...

Ah, Cisco Night. I remember that, or at least that I participated... Thus the night is a little hazy. And what is this "it did not turn out well for them"? I thought you were part of "them" or us? Thanks for the memory brother and "take her sleazy"


Quintilian B. Nasty said...

No, I didn't drink any Cisco, I had sold enough Wild Irish Rose and Mad Dog 20/20 to people that I wasn't going to venture there. Porch. If I recall correctly, wasn't that a mixer with the AKLs or the Lambda Chis? Or maybe the Phi Lambs? I just remember a lot of brothers nodding out early or just acting downright crazy. That stuff has something in it that's just not right.