Random Notes from a Crank

The BBC has an interesting article about the world's safest countries: "Five of the World Safest Countries for 2025." The article also provide the top ten but just features the top five in detail. 

There were some surprises for me. Neither Norway nor Sweden are in the top ten. Ireland was a bit surprising to me, but Denmark and New Zealand are usually in the top ten of most lists of countries where people are happy and safe. And I've heard good things about Portugal. 

This week's Existential Comic is a good one. It's a commentary on imperialism and the rationales people have used for conquering countries: "The Philosophy of Julius Caesar." 

The character asks a great question of Caesar: "How do you justify it philosophically?"

James McMurtry is a great songwriter. On his most recent album, The Black Dog and the Wandering Boy, he has a song about Pinocchio as an adult: "Pinocchio in Vegas." 

Today is National Dog Day. Treat your dog/s right. 

Musing of the Moment: Bark Box Adjusting to Tariffs

 

We got my dog's bark box the other day, and this was the message we got because the toys and treats were not in a box. They came in a bag. 

My hope is that more companies make similar moves in regard to Moscow Don's tariffs to expose the stupidity of his economic policies. 

Random Notes from a Crank

What you see above is my dog when he and I ventured out to walk by our local lake. With all the snow we've gotten, no one has shoveled their sidewalks, so Mac and I are relegated to walking on campus because it has been plowed and shoveled. 

I'm tired of walking on campus though, so we ventured out to feel the icy wind in our faces. 

Mrs. Nasty and I were in Springfield Sunday, and we took the opportunity to dine at Darcy's Pint. That's the only place I know of around these here parts that has a muffuletta on its menu. 

It's one of best sandwiches of all time. When I'm there, I always think about getting a reuben, one of my favorites, but I can get those lots of places. 

This is the time of the year when I browse Johnny's Selected Seeds catalog and think about the possibilities this spring and summer. 

Usually every growing season I try out at least one new plant or variety of plant. This coming season I'm thinking of growing broccoli rabe, Italian eggplant, and some Bibb lettuce.

I made some spicy beef lettuce wraps a while back, and I really liked Bibb lettuce, which I've never grown. 

Musing of the Moment: Interesting Facts/Trivia

For the holidays I got book of factoids titled Interesting Facts for Curious Minds: 1572 Random but Mind-Blowing Facts about History, Science, Pop Culture and Everything in Between. 

As I read the book, I noted these facts/trivia I found most interesting, and I'm sharing them in this post. 

They are below, and I'm quoting the author, Jordan Moore, word for word. 

• Cuban dictator Fidel Castro was a pragmatic leader. One of his best-known quotes is, "A revolution is not a bed of roses."
• Panama may be a small country, but Manuel Noriega was able to build a personal fortune of $300 million as its dictator from August 12, 1983 to December 20, 1989. He built his fortune through drug smuggling, CIA contracts, bribes, money laundering, and fraud.
• If you really don't care about something, you "couldn't care less," not you "could care less." The latter implies you still have some caring to do. 
• The once common dog name "Fido" came from the Romans. The name is derived from the Latin word, fidelis, which means "loyal." 
• An average dog's hearing is four times better than a human, but the part of their brain devoted to their sense of smell is about 40 time larger than ours. 
• Although the ancient Egyptians didn't name most of their breeds, their texts and reliefs show they had basenjis, salukis, and greyhounds. 
• When your dog kicks his hind legs after relieving himself, it isn't a weak attempt to cover the poo. No, Spot is merely marking his territory with the scent glands in his feet. 
• Although dice games preceded the Romans, the Romans were the first people to bet on dice. The Romans called double 'ones' -- 'snake's eyes' today -- a 'dog throw.'
• Up to 20% of the American population may be allergic to the chemical nickel. This could be big considering that nickel is a major components in smartphones. 
• The 1980 arcade game, Pac-Man, originally came out in Japan as Puck Man. The name was changed when it was realized how vandals could have fun with the word "Puck." 
• The Atari 2600 console hit the stores in 1977. It was a big step up from previous game systems because it used separate cartridges for each game. 
• The lyrics of the nursery rhyme "Ring around the Rosie" are a bizarre mystery. Many believe it refers to a bout of the plague where people carried bouquets of flowers and herbs to smell while walking in public, while others think it refers to a pagan ritual. 
• The bean bag chair was invented in 1968 by Italian Piero Gatti, Cesare Poolini, and Franco Teodoro. Its popularity peaked in the late 1970s. 
• As Charles Darwin (1809-1882) developed his theory of evolution, he also invented the modern office chair by adding wheels to make a swiveling chair. 
• The Ancient Greek mathematician Pythogoras (ca. 570-495 BCE) is best know for his theorem but he was also a mystic who led a commune. 
• The opposite sides of traditional dice always add up to seven. You can throw the dice as much as you want, but it's always the case. 
• According to the "birthday problem," 23 random people can be placed in a room and there's a 50% chance two of them will have the same birthday. 
• Tamales are an ancient dish dating back at least 5,000 years in Mesoamerica. The word "tamale" is derived from the Nahuatl/Aztec word, tamali.
• The Carthaginians reportedly catapulted pots filled with venomous snakes onto the ships of the Pergamon navy during a battle in 184 BCE. 
• Greek Fire was an incendiary, napalm-like weapon used by the Byzantine Empire from 672 to 1453. The ingredients and process to make Greek Fire remain a mystery. 
• In  the 500s BCE, the Greek colony, Sybaris, in Italy, passed one of the earliest known noise ordinances. It prohibited tinsmiths and roosters form the city limits. 
• Hallucinogenic psilocybin mushrooms were taken by many different American Indian peoples as part of religious rituals. The Aztecs even referred to one species as the "divine mushroom." 
• In the 1980s, ethnobotanist Wade Davis claimed that Haitian Voodoo zombies were created by a combination of tetrodotoxin from a pufferfish and bufotoxin from a toad. They were then "reanimated" with a natural drug, datura.
• Englishman Thomas Crapper (1836-1910) didn't invent the toilet, but he did improve plumbing by inventing the "U-bend" trap. It prevents liquids and gasses from flowing back into the toilet. The actual invent of the flush toilet can be traced back to a British man named Sir John Harrington who, in 1596, devised a mechanism with a cord that, when pulled, flushed away waste with a rush of water. 
• A survey revealed that the average woman hasn't worn $550 worth of clothing they own or about 20% of their wardrobe. Interestingly, shoes are the number one unworn item. 
• Islam has traditionally viewed dogs as "unclean," so they aren't very common pets in the Middle East. Cats were kept by Mohammad and considered "clean." 
• Contrary to common media portrayals, most burglaries take place between 10 a.m. and 3 p.m. Professional crooks strike when homeowners are at work or school.
• "Molly Pitcher" is the legendary name of either Mary Ludwig Hays McCauley or Margaret Hays. The story is that "Molly" carried pitchers of water to Patriot troops to cool the canons during a battle in the American Revolution. 
• Warrior goddesses were not uncommon in the ancient world. The Greek goddess Athena, the Assyrian goddess Ishtar, and the Egyptian lioness headed goddess Sekhmet, were all martial dieties. 
• No US state uses wind as its primary source of electrical power. But it's the second source of power for Iowa, Kansas, South Dakota, North Dakota, and Kansas. 
• "Forest bathing" is a form of natural mental health therapy where a person simply spends time in forests. The activity is officially sanctioned by the Japanese government, which calls shinmin-yoku.
• A single cottonwood tree can release 40 million seeds in one season. The seeds can then float through the air for days, much longer than any other type of seed. 
• In the Keynesian view of modern economics, low unemployment is more important than low inflation. Government spending is encouraged to keep employment levels high. 
• Simon Bolivar (1783-1830) was South America's George Washington. Bolivar drove the Spanish from northern South America to become the father of the nations of Colombia, Venezuela, Ecuador, Panama, Peru, and Bolivia. 

Random Notes from a Crank

I think I need to start working in Bugs Bunny's catchphrase of "What a maroon" into my regular vocabulary. It will serve as a strong euphemism for some naughtier words I want to use. 

I would assume Mel Blanc and others had Bugs say "maroon" instead of "moron" because it's not as harsh. 

The dog we adopted does something all of the other dogs I've had have never done. When he takes a leak, right aftewardr he uses his back legs to kick dirt or leaves where he peed. Now I've never had a male dog before. The other dogs I've had have been bitches. I'm wondering if it's a male dog thing, but maybe it's just this dog wanting to mask his markings. 

And that dog is full of pee. When I take him on walks, my acronym for his behavior is AMT: Always Marking Territory. 

I know what the idiots at FoxNews need to focus instead of Moscow Don's legal troubles. They should worry about this: The War on Hanukkah. 

What a bunch of maroons. 

Last night I watched Life of Brian, which I hadn't watched in a while. It seemed like a good choice considering the holidays. Always look on the bright side of life, folks. 

Random Notes from a Crank

A few weeks ago we got a new dog, one of the breeds that I always wanted. He's an eight-year-old Brittany named Sampson. And the name is apropos because he's the tallest Brittany I've ever seen. Breed standard is 25-40 pounds, and he weighs in at 60some pounds. And he's not fat. 

He's just tall, really tall for that breed, so that maybe why his name is Sampson (after Ralph Sampson?). 

Our other dog, a twelve-year-old beagle-lab mutt hated him for weeks, but now I think she's gotten used to him. Knock on wood. She's a grouchy, territorial, old broad. 

The excellent deal about the new dog is that I'm walking him almost every day, so both of use are getting exercise. I think I might have lost some weight already or at least something off my waistline. 

If you ever want to get frustrated, try coaching certain fifth graders to play football. As parents know, there is a difference between hearing and listening. 

Listening and following directions will get you places no matter what your age. 

In good news, Spokane, WA had made news by committing to going 100% renewable energy. In what I hope are prophetic words, the state Chair of the Sierra Club said, “Cities across the country are demanding clean energy not just because it’s the right thing to do for the environment and public health, but because it’s cheaper in the long run than fossil fuels. Spokane’s leadership on this measure will help kickstart clean energy development in the Pacific Northwest and speed the transition to a cleaner, cheaper future.”

In bad news, Grist reports about Moscow Don's propping up of a dying and polluting industry is just going to hurt communities: "When Trump Tries to Bring Back Coal, These Communities Pay the Price." 

And as is related, "The EPA's Coal Plan is a Ripoff for Americans, According to the EPA." So the US is now looking forward to "more hospital visits, more sick days away from work and school, and the early deaths of up to 1,400 people each year, by 2030."

The change is going to cost a shitload of money for Americans: "EPA’s press officers aren’t exactly highlighting the findings that the proposal would leave Americans worse off. In a fact sheet, for example, the EPA trumpets its finding that ACE could save power-plants up to $6.4 billion in compliance costs. But wade into the details to look up that scenario (check out table 18 on page 165), and you see that the EPA weighs that $6.4 billion against health costs that run between $16.6 billion and $75 billion."

Random Notes from a Crank

I made a couple of new dishes based on recipes from Cooking Light and Milk Street magazines. The first was a slow cooker affair that used apricot preserves and jalapeños as the flavoring agent for boneless chicken thighs. They turned out like chicken sloppy joes. The second was a grated carrot salad that used a bunch of flat leaf parsley from my garden, so I got to use my grating implement of my food processor. 

There's some kind of varmint eating my tomatoes in my garden. I suspect it's a damn raccoon. 

Recently I've been researching dog breeds. Our dog is getting older, and when she passes, we'll probably get two dogs, one smallish dog for Mrs. Nasty and a dog I like. Because I want a dog that doesn't shed much and one that will make me take it for walks, the two breeds I'm interested in currently are the Vizsla and the German Shorthaired Pointer. 

Here are some links about those breeds if you're interested:

• Vizsla
• German Shorthaired Pointer

Rick Perry got early Daily Showed: "U.S. Energy Secretary Duped into Fake Interview with Russian Comedians." 

A scientist wrote a great opinion piece in the Washington Post: "I'm a Scientist. I'm Blowing the Whistle on the Trump Administration."

Random Notes from a Crank

"The Perfect Boob Throughout History, From Big Ol' Things to Bee Stings" is a fascinating read if you're interested in cultural mores, societal attitudes, groupthink, and, well, boobs. 

Trump went to Mexico to talk with the country's President. Mexico's president clearly stated he told Trump that Mexico will not pay for his stupid wall. Trump lied and said they didn't discuss the matter. You can call Clinton a liar if you like, but this dude is a liar and classic bullshit artist. Just check out the Washington Post's fact check on his immigration speech: "Fact-Checking Trump's Immigration Speech." 

The Clinton ad below is now airing in Arizona. I'd be really surprised if Clinton wins Arizona. That would be a serious kick in the short and curlies for the GOP if it does happen.  



It looks like I'm going to be an assistant coach for my son's flag football team. The first practice is Friday. 

For years, I've calculated my dog's "human age" by the traditional 1-to-7-year ratio. Come to find out that ratio is inaccurate. The first year of a medium dog's life compares to 15 years. The second year compares to 9 years. The years thereafter compare to 4 years. So my dog is not 70. She's 56. Check it out from the AKC: "How to Calculate Dog Years to Human Years." 

Random Notes from a Crank

Last night the good fellows on MLB Tonight went over the stupidity of hitters not taking advantage of the extreme shifting that defenses are doing in baseball. Defenses are basically giving hitters probable base hits and doubles just shifting infielders to one side of the diamond. It's bizarre that more hitters are not taking advantage of the shifting. I'm sure hitters could work on hitting the other way in batting practice. It's just so silly that very few hitters aren't adjusting. It's just intellectual lollygagging, which reminds me of a classic scene from Bull Durham. I shared it a couple of years ago, but here it is again.  




Lately I've been thinking of getting a vasectomy. Mrs. Nasty and I don't plan to have any more kids, and from what I'm told, it's not a big deal as surgeries go. The doctor does it right in the office. But I wonder, after a person has the procedure, what happens down there after one orgasms? I mean, does no jizz come out at all? When an orgasm happens, is there just a pathetic whoosh of air? Sort of like the penis saying, "meh." If it is a faint whoosh of air, is that the real sound of one hand clapping? I bet it is. These are things I think about. 

Well, I did some research after writing that paragraph above, research meaning that I searched the InterWebs. The answer is yes, baby-gravy  ball juice  courting-cream  cum  Cupid's toothpaste  Cyclop's tears  ejaculant  gonad-glue  happy-juice  jism  love butter  man-juice  minkus  people-paste  sledge  soul-sauce  spence  spooge  spudwater  spunk  semen still happens, but, as one site describes it, men after vasectomies are "all juice and no seeds." 

This report by Climate Progress about the drought in California is troubling. This article from Triple Pundit about the recent IPCC Report is disturbing. 

There's debate about whether there is a black dog bias, but this article (with photos) about Fred Levy's Black Dog Project is interesting. 

I enjoyed Lodro Rinzler's The Buddha Walks into a Bar…, and he also writes for The Huffington Post. His recent article tackles how mindfulness is not a trend. 

Random Notes from a Crank

This past week was one where I became obsessed. On Wednesday I watered my garden as usual to find a whole row of spinach decimated. The spinach I had planted in spring was wiped out. Gone. Some bastard of a rabbit had gotten into my garden and feasted. Later in the week there were nibble marks on some of my lettuce. 

Defensive measures were taken. 

I read online somewhere that rabbits don't like kitty litter, so I poured granular stuff around the perimeter of the garden and then put together a concoction to ward off rabbits that I read about online. That sort of worked, but the next day lettuce was nibbled a bit more. On that Wednesday I also called the place where the whole family goes to get our hair cut to acquire hair clippings. I had been told that rabbits will not cross a barrier where there is human or another's animal's hair. 

On Friday I picked up the hair and arranged it around the perimeter of my garden, which was a strange task. In one grasp of hair, I'd think, "So now it's blond," in another grasp I'd think, "Now we're on to brunette," in another I'd think, "Wow, check out all that grey," and so on. 

The hair clippings seem to be working [Knock on wood.]. If I have any other problems, I'm considering building a moat. Then again, water in a moat just might attract more varmints. 

The one in the family even more obsessed than me is our dog Darby. Rabbits must be under our shed in the backyard because she's been sniffing around it for the same amount of time and "hunting wabbits" on the other side of yard by the neighbor's shed. 

Also, she's been staking out the back fence because the rabbit in the neighbor's yard is using a gap between the two fences a causeway to our other neighbor's yard. Here's Darby on stakeout yesterday.

Random Notes from a Crank

What you see above is Darby and her arch-nemesis, the chunky squirrel who lives in our maple tree in the backyard. Somehow the rodent thought it was a good idea to take refuge on the swing set, which drove the dog crazy. Chunky has some cojones because I watched her climb down the near side of the a-frame and outrun Darby back to the tree -- just toying with poor Darby. It was a morning and early afternoon packed with plenty of barking. Great times. 

If you've been to the Nasty homestead, you might have noticed the fence. It's new. A couple of months ago when we had some high winds here in east central Illinois, a section of the old rickety fence blew down. So we purchased a new one. Well, we bought part of the fence because our neighbor who shares the property line went halfsies with us. That set us back some money, but it looks a lot nicer and more stable than the previous one that was erected when the house was built in the mid-70s. I have a number of mounds of dirt along the fenceline where the guys dug post holes, but I've got places to put all that dirt. If the weather is decent this week, I plan to fix a drainage problem in the front yard. I'll be digging fourteen feet worth of a drainage ditch for tiling purposes. Maybe I'll put in a French drain. 

What a name though  ...  French drain. It sounds like something that happens in a vampire novel/film or some technique in porn. You decide. 

Random Notes from a Crank

Food Porn Alert

What you see above is the eleven-pound bird I lovingly basted every thirty minutes on Christmas Eve day.

We travel to see my parents on the 27th, but I'm bringing part of the bird with me. Virg always loved the neck, so I'm bringing it with. Darby, our dog, got the turkey's heart, and I get the liver. Huzzah offal. 

Speaking of Darby, it's safe to say she may sometimes dread the holidays.

One of my favorite characters in American cinema is the father in A Christmas Story. He's known affectionately as "The Old Man." 

I got an Eddie Bauer clearance catalog this week, and I turned to the pages where this coat is advertised. It's a great coat if you want to look like a ribbed condom. For her pleasure. 

I remember reading about one of those questions that's supposed to tell you something about your personality. It's whether you're a Beatles person or a Rolling Stones person. From those two choices, for me it's Stones all the way. 

I've trolled a number of best albums of 2012 lists to see how mine compares to others. When I do this, I discover new artists. One album you might want to check out is John Fullbright's From the Ground Up. Fullbright, a native of Okemah, OK (birthplace of Woody Guthrie), put out a fine album this year. The genre is Americana and all the loose connotations that category entails. Todd Mathis at Twangville compares him to Jason Isbell in his review, but I think he's more like a cross between John Hiatt and Joe Pug. Although I'm an agnostic, I enjoy the religious imagery in the lyrics, and he also plays a good harp.

Random Notes from a Crank

Sometimes when I'm in meetings, a mental image comes to mind: a dog chasing its tail. See video below:

When I drove my kids home from school the other afternoon, we noticed about a three-year old girl pushing an empty stroller down the sidewalk. Probably a kid about five years old, and presumably her brother, was behind her. He was trying to mount his bike. All he was wearing was his underwear, his whitey tideys out there in broad daylight. It was mid-seventies temp-wise, and I didn't see a parent close by. My daughter's comment was something like, "That kid's outside just in his underwear! That is weird."

In response to the story about a scholar now possibly having evidence that Jesus had a wife,  Jason Isbell had a great tweet: "Disappointingly, the newly-found Jesus text began with the line 'Take my wife. Please.' He actually OPENED with that." 

My eyes look toward you Mary Magdalene. With the hatchet job some Biblical scholars have done on her, it wouldn't surprise me if she was the wife of Jesus. 

And all this Jesus stuff reminds me a Hayes Carll tune and video. Check it out. 

Random Notes from a Crank

At a meeting yesterday, I learned that the profile I had when I entered college -- a first-generation college student and an Undeclared major -- would make the higher ups, the muckity mucks, consider me an "at-risk student." I found being undeclared making one "at-risk" a little odd, but local and national statistics provide evidence that those folks don't stick around for their sophomore years as often as the others. I find that metric kind of sad because the whole point of college, for me at least, was exploring different subjects and trying to figure out what I liked and wanted to do.  Because I was interested in psychology, history, sociology/anthropology, philosophy, English, classics, and education, it would have been silly for me to declare a major. Now that I think about it some more, some people -- like Admissions counselors and high school teachers -- sometimes would act a little funny when I would tell them I was an undecided major. While I understand many people see higher education as an avenue toward a job and, sure, they deserve a return on their investment, it's also important to explore other subjects other than just what's in one's major, especially since people are likely to change jobs more than ever nowadays. Or maybe that's just my liberal arts mindset talking...

As I've probably written before, I love small college towns in the summer. When a substantial portion of the nine-month population heads back to their original territories, the town I live in becomes quiet. Sure, we have summer classes, but the character of the town is different. The weather is helping too. It's been gorgeous here in east central Illinois.

Mrs. Nasty was surprised yesterday when I told I'd watch The Hunger Games movie with her. I haven't read the novel, but she loved it. I'm no avid moviegoer, but it sounds like interesting dystopian fiction, which I don't mind. But as for dystopian reality, I don't like that. Now we just need to figure out a date night and arrange a kid sitter.

Speaking of Mrs. Nasty, she has an idea for our back patio area that once had cheap lattice adorning it. I had to tear it down because of wind damage. Since we took off the old shutters and replaced them with new black ones (see Stay Positive below), she wants to try using the old shutters where the lattice used to be. She's going to paint four of the old shutters, and then she wants to rig them up to hang in that area using a eye and hook system and cabling. I don't know if it will work (I think it will), so we'll see what happens. We already have a bottle tree in the front flower bed that I'm sure some people find weird, so a decorative shutter system will be a nice compliment in the back yard. Because of this nascent project, on Monday I got to do some demolition work on the framing that held up the lattice. Tearing up stuff is fun.

As much as I dislike it when people put down Southern states based on Yankee attitudes, I think the article in Mother Jones -- "'It's Just Not Right': The Failure of Alabama's Self-Deportation Experiment" -- is a case study of, as some Southerners say, "the dog catching the car." Be careful about what laws and policies your legislators pass. Hear that, nitwits in Springfield?

With my dog not freely running around and patrolling the backyard because she's rehabbing from surgery to repair a cranial cruciate ligament, the squirrels and birds are no longer vigilant because she would chase after anything that was in the yard. When she's back on her game, she's going to be beating some squirrel ass back there. Or more likely, the neighbors will return to hearing her bark a lot.

Random Notes from a Crank

This weekend, our dog Darby was innocently doing one of the activities she really enjoys doing, which is running like a dog on amphetamines all around the backyard, and she jumped over the short semicircular wall we have around the perimeter of the back patio, landing on the hard surface, and a tremendous yelping and whining ensued as she skidded out down toward the chain link fence. After a call to the on-call vet because something obviously happened and she no longer would put weight on back left leg, I was told to take a wait-and-see approach while giving her baby aspirin. The injury didn't get much better over the weekend, so I took her to vet this morning to get it checked out. She's got the dog version of torn ACL. Because of the vet's schedule, she couldn't get in for surgery until Monday. Goodbye federal tax return, but the worst part, obviously, is Darby's pain and the long recovery ahead. Not good.

On a nostalgic whim I purchased the album, circa 1993, God Shuffled His Feet by the Crash Test Dummies. It was cheaper to buy the album than downloading it.

I'm sure many of you remember the hit "Mmm Mmm Mmm Mmm," and I always enjoyed the band's interesting lyrics. Mrs. Nasty hates them because of the lead singer's voice and told me as much this afternoon. But here are snippets from each song on the album for my and possibly your enjoyment:

• "But God said nothing/ So someone asked him, 'I beg your pardon:/ I'm not quite clear about what you just spoke--/Was that a parable, or a very subtle joke?'" from "God Shuffled His Feet"
•  "Times when the day is like a play by Sartre/ When it seems a bookburning's in perfect order--" from "Afternoons and Coffeespoons"
• "They shook and lurched all over the church floor./ He couldn't quite explain it./ They'd always just gone there." from "Mmm Mmm Mmm Mmm"
• "Your thumb and forefinger supposed to show you're not a wild beast./ You can hear their noises at night time./ They don't have to keep a certain bedtime." from "In the Days of the Caveman"
• "Sometimes I suffer from distractions like/ Why does God cause things like tornadoes and train wrecks?" from "Swimming In Your Ocean"
• "Well take my fingers, what do fingers really mean to me?/ You can easily look them up in the dictionary./ They call them digits, or technically they're known as the 'phalanges." from "Here I Stand Before Me"
• "Running into you like this without warning/ Is like catching a sniff of tequila in the morning." from "I Think I'll Disappear Now"
• "How does a duck know what direction south is?/ And how to tell his wife from all the other ducks?" from "How Does a Duck Know?"
• "What if the artists ran the TV?/ All the ads would be for fine scotch whiskey:/ Glenfiddich, Glenlivet, the whole single malt family." from "When I Go Out with Artists"
• "She could not control them, they kept her up nights./ I know what you're thinking. I haven't been drinking." from "The Psychic"
• "The maidens had other plans for the two knights./ They'd give them potions/ And make them see dreams and lights." from "Two Knights and Maidens"

In the April issue of The Atlantic, there's an article about Ben Bernanke that's worth a read: "The Villain." 

Random Notes from a Crank

This weekend I watched a number of TV programs, and they informed me that having a dog helps prevent heart disease, and the same goes for gardening. Some research out there provides a causal link that says people who garden having less of a chance of heart problems and stress in general.

I can see why someone would try to make that claim since there is a therapeutic aspect of gardening. And you can get some low-impact sort of exercise, I guess. But what about the weeds? They don't create stress. But possibly anger? I look down at my rows of lettuce, spinach, shallots, and carrots, and I think, "I just pulled some of you bastards a little while ago."

Obviously, I should have sprung for a bagged mower, so I could put grass clippings in between the rows. That's a veteran move my dad used in his garden all the time.

But to dogs. I can see how they reduce stress, but then again, these studies don't account for the constant picking up of poop or the barking. I'm a dog lover--don't get me wrong. Darby has been a great dog for us, so I'm not saying I dislike my dog or something.

A couple of programs the kids and I watched were on Animal Planet. They featured certain breeds, and one of shows focused on my favorite: the English Springer Spaniel. Loyal, smart, obedient, easy to train, great with kids, those dogs are my favorite breed. No contest.

During the program's talk about the breed, they discussed how a Springer is being used in a suburb in Ontario somewhere for harassing geese from public parks and golf courses. It was fabulous. They showed tape of that Springer running all over the place to chase off geese, swimming after 'em, flushing those honkers to somewhere else.

Darby isn't a Springer. She's half beagle and half either Black Lab or German Shepherd, but she has a hatred for birds like that dog in the show. She protects the backyard from any bird landing on the ground. She don't play.

Since I've been taping Looney Toons on Cartoon Network for our viewing pleasure, I've been reliving cartoons from my childhood. There are benefits to this. Today Quinn ate a whole big carrot for a snack while saying on occasion, "What's up Doc?"

But Daffy. I prefer the Duck to the Hare. In particular, I enjoy the old Daffy Duck cartoons before he started getting paired with Bugs Bunny and Elmer Fudd. In the older cartoons, he was more of trickster figure and perhaps slightly lunatic with all the hootin' and hollerin'.

Later on, the Duck got made into a vain, cheap, and self-centered character. To a degree, he compares to the Jack Benny character Benny created for his show.

Take care clowns.

Darby Gets Spooked

Our dog has been spending a ton of time outside lately, which isn't a surprise since it's been nice out. But ole Darby has been on a mission. For the past week it was obvious some type of animal was under our shed in the backyard.

Initially I thought it was a chipmunk since she waged an war with one of those last summer, a war she lost.

This morning I looked out to see the dog light out toward the shed in hot pursuit, and then she suddenly stopped as if she was spooked. And she was. A little, maybe an adolescent about the size of a rat, possum waddled out in front of her from one corner of the shed to the other corner as Darby stared at it in disbelief. 

Ugliness is obviously a natural defense mechanism. 

But with a certain link in mind (Click HERE), maybe I should do some hunting?